Top

Ivy Says

Lebanon's Lifestyle, Beauty and Fashion Blog

7 Things Not To Do At Weddings This Summer

- Leave a Comment

monster-monster-in-law-29952586-1600-1098

1) Everybody knows that wearing a white dress to another girl’s wedding is an act of hostility. Refrain. And you’re right, a simple white dress should not upstage a mammoth gown, but those are the rules. You will get stared down by bride’s besties and their mother’s mothers. If your white dress has a train you will probably be unfriended on Facebook the next day and labelled the attention thief.( to put it nicely)

Zorba The Greek 1

2) The great thing about weddings is the open bar. The downside is the video cameras. We tend to forget that almost every moment is documented. So if you’re going to pull out all the stops on the dance floor make sure you understand that for the next 30 years the newlyweds and their families on both sides will watch your sad attempt at the Zorba with a glass of gin tonic in one hand. After all it’s their wedding video. Your swollen ankle may heal after a couple of days but your pride will hurt forever.

wedding hookup

3) Weddings are no place for one night stands, or random hook-ups especially with the bride/groom’s close friends or relatives. The only making out people are interested in watching are the bride and the groom. And chances are you’ll run into that guy/girl again in every baptism, communion, and birthday to come. Spare yourself the awkwardness.

photobomb

4)  Photobomb. If you see the newlyweds entangled in a champagne embrace, don’t try to get in the middle. Again wedding album. Coffee table. Forever.

bride wars 181208

5) Kiss the bride right on her cheeks. Here’s the thing, bridal makeup is just as important ( and expensive) as say, center pieces and after getting kissed by all 500 guests (three times each) her makeup is gonna streak. So do her a favor, make it one of those air “mwah” air kisses. She will love you for it!

kids wedding

6) Don’t bring your kids along. Especially if they’re not invited. Something happens to kids at weddings. They become obnoxious and easily excitable. We both know it I just said it.

women-fighting-over-bouquet

7) Catching the bouquet is not a game of rugby. Anyhow pushing and tugging tend to scare suitors away. It’s just for fun I promise it doesn’t really work.

 

Also Check Out

8 Things To Avoid Doing At The Beach This Summer

The Lebanese Celebrities Wedding Album

The Lebanese Politicians’ Wedding Albu

6 Ways To Avoid Lebanese Wedding Drama

 

 

8 Things To Avoid Doing At The Beach This Summer

- Leave a Comment

kim wearing makeup at beach

1) Makeup. I know it’s part of our culture to put it on everywhere but this is the kind of behavior that gives us a bad rap. I get it, some imperfections are better off concealed, and a little waterproof mascara never hurt anyone, but foundation, fake lashes and bold lipstick at the beach? Now this is where we have to draw the line ladies.

 

bad feet.

2) Men need pedicures too. I don’t care if getting one will make them feel emasculated , and we were planning on overlooking the fur coats on their backs but moldy broken uneven toe nails should be illegal. (apologies for the visual) FYI this falls under the good personal hygiene category. I don’t see what can be more pressing.

women beach heels

 

3)      High heels + Bikini = TRASHY. Unless the stripper look is your thing.

BeachBob07_t600

4)      Speedos. Why is it that the majority wearing these are definitely not the ones with swimmer bodies? Picture this: a gold chain, a hairy chest and you guessed it…an itsy bitsy speedo. The elder men go for this look, I think it’s probably “stuck-in-the-70s” thing but someone needs to tell them it’s over and at times slightly offensive.

bikini

 

5)      Over-accessorized, over-embellished ostentatious bikinis. I’m all for that frivolous cut-out one piece but a combination of embellishments, beading and excessive fringes should be left for evening gowns or the carnival in Rio. Yes people will stare but not for the right reasons, trust me.

DonatellaVersace tanning

6)      We all look better tanned. But that shouldn’t mean we should walk around looking like a glow stick. Skin cancer is not a joke. Do yourself a favor, ease up on the grease and dab on some SPF.

nasty hairy armpits

7)      Hairy arm pits. You have no excuse. If they are sticking out and clearly visible on top of your arms then you need to trim. I thought this would go without saying, but sadly they’re everywhere. Remember boys, cavemen belong in the cave.

baby diaper

8)      Diapers. There’s nothing sweeter than a toddler on the beach but a saggy diaper is one the most unsanitary and inconsiderate thing a parent can do. I don’t care what it says on the box, those things can leak into the ocean and the pool. If your poor little child is running around with a saggy diaper you should not let him near the water. Oh and changing diapers should not happen in public either!

 

 

 

8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

- 5 Comments

why arab men will not marry

1)      His buddies are still single. That’s right; Birds of a feather flock together. Don’t expect your man to simply warm up to the idea of marriage just because you pitched it. It’s always easier and less petrifying for them to take the plunge together, this way they won’t feel like they’re missing out on late night parties at ONE because they were up early with you deciding between petunias or orchids.

 

2)      You’re too controlling. Why leave a carefree home only to share one with a woman who needs to sign a leave request for his every move? Men have caught on, and they pretty much know it’s only going to get worse once he’s under your tutelage, so either loosen up your grip or enjoy the title of possessive girlfriend. Forever.

 

 

3)      Your dream wedding may land him in small claims court, that or a jail cell. Yes, sure the wedding isn’t just about just you, it’s about your parents and your aunt, her father, your grandma’s sister and your third cousins twice removed. But give the guy a break and ditch the foolish fireworks and greasy one-man show, trust me, they will not make or break your marriage.

 

4)      His mama loves him. So very much. It’s very hard for you to snatch a mother goose’s golden egg out of the nest, especially when momma is still feeding, and yes for Arab boys the feeding lasts forever if needed be. So don’t think she’s gonna just give him up that easy. Chances are you won’t be able to take half as good care of him as she can and the problem is HE knows it too. So unless you know how to make him Mloukhiyeh while him and his buddy play on the Xbox , he’s not going home with you.

 

 

5)      Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. No I didn’t just compare my own gender to cows? Ok yes maybe a little. But you know what I mean. I am very much pro-cohabitation, however let’s say things as they are, most men don’t see the need to marry you when they are already getting all the benefits of living with you minus the legal commitment, the rock and many headaches to come.

 

6)      You’ve hinted too hard. Yes, especially since you’ve resorted to begging. There is nothing more unattractive for a man than a desperate/pushy woman. It’s harsh but it’s the truth.

 

7)      Let’s just say his family don’t think too highly of you. You could be the sweetest and prettiest girl on the block and still not make the cut for their perfect little prince with a face only a mother can love. It’s very hard for an Arab man to tie the knot without parental approval, when you marry Arab, you sort of marry the family too. So unless he’s super independent both financially and emotionally don’t count on it.

8)      You’re not marriage material. Sure you’ve been dating for over a year, but you should have noticed by now how he’s only taking you along to the fun nights. And although you’ve done unorthodox things together he still plans on marrying virgin Salma from the village when it’s time. It’s not you, it’s his primate instincts.

If you don’t relate to any of these then it’s cause he’s an idiot, who fails to see the diamond in the rough you are, so if he’s not appreciating what he’s got this early on chances are he never will. And who wants to marry a man with lack of vision anyway? Move on and never look back, plenty of fish in the sea ladies. His loss, just doesn’t know it yet.

 

Have I missed any?

Enjoyed this post? Also check out

5 Reason’s You’re Still Single- The Arab Men Edition

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The Lebanese Politicians’ Wedding Album

He’s Muslim, She’s Christian, All They Need is Love Right! Right??

 

 

 

 

7 Ways To Own Your Online Reputation- Ivy Says for Entrepreneur Middle East

- Leave a Comment

Whether you’re a brand, celebrity or professional in an industry; chances are you’re always looking for ways to improve your online reputation. I share seven tactics as part of my contribution to Entrepreneur Middle East’s April Issue.

Dana khairallah Entrepreneur Middleeast

It’s a well-known fact that people are more likely to tell their social circles about a negative experience than a positive one-bad news travels fast. Couple that with the major influence online reviews have on purchasing decisions and you’ve got yourself a losing equation. This is the right around the time when brands or public figures decide to call up seasoned reputation managers looking for a quick fix to make it all go away. And although online crisis management tactics could stop some of the bleeding, the wound needs time to heal.

To understand reputation management one has to think of it like insurance, you don’t think about it when you don’t need it, but you’re really grateful to have it when you’re in trouble.

Online reputation management is relatively new, most small to medium businesses in the region have just come to terms (and budgets) with hiring agencies, freelancers or in-house experts as community managers to develop their social media strategy and manage their day-to-day online presence. While that is essential, it’s just a component of the overall long-term strategy and effort it entails to truly control an online reputation.

When was the last time you tracked or monitored your brand’s reputation? (No, the occasional Google search doesn’t count.) Are you in control of those results?

If not, here are a couple of tactics that you should be aware of Read The Rest of the Article here

An Apology Letter To Jackie Chamoun

- Leave a Comment

jackie

Dear Jackie,

I’m a little late to this party, I was abroad amidst the #StripForJackie craze that took Lebanon by storm last week and was too busy to chime in on all that boob business. Actually I made the decision not to take this opportunity to jump on the “let’s milk Jackie” bandwagon. You see I too hail from this backward region we call home and understand:

1) How hard it is to be a fully dressed woman let alone a semi-naked one in the Middle East

2) Just how truly judgmental people can be, so I thought I’d be doing you a favor by just letting this “scandal” pass.

But this incident didn’t just pass, it’s went viral. I can’t hold my silence anymore, so instead I want to apologize to you on behalf of the Republic of Primates, you know the schizophrenic country we like to call Lebanon, the one we’ve been priding ourselves for years for being “The Paris of the Middle East” or for making it on some foreign media’s list of “Top World Destinations” But let’s not kid ourselves this type of moral prosecution shows that we’re no better than the Taliban or Muslim Brotherhood, in fact maybe even worse, at least they’re not pretending to be Paris.

We named and shamed you and even publicly prosecuted you like you’ve committed some sort of national honor crime, even the Minister of Youth and Sports felt compelled to take part in this character assassination by calling upon Lebanese Olympic officials to investigate your actions. How dare you expose your breasts in a public space three years ago and think you can get away with it?  Perhaps a flogging or stoning would have been in order.

And though I was impressed with the swiftness, humor and creativity of Lebanese brands and agencies (A for effort guys)  and while I understand that some of their intentions were to show solidarity with you I thought they did you more harm than good. Here’s why:

This is not YOUR cause. You never signed up for it, it chose you. You never thought that posing in nothing but a thong and ski boots for a calendar would suddenly make you the poster child for liberalism in your country. Actually you apologized, expressed your frustration and asked us to move on and focus on the sport. We didn’t.

What we did do instead is insist on using your name (which I’m sure caused you a huge amount of anguish and stress) as the determining reference in this debate. Liberals use you as a yardstick for progressiveness while conservatives vilified you. You on the other hand were busy training for the upcoming Olympic Games.

So I’m sorry,  please accept my apology on behalf of everyone, the people who condemned you, the government that singled you out and the brands and campaigns that used you.

Oh and Good Luck in the Sochi Olympic games.

Ivy

Lebanon’s 4 Unknown Heroes Who Deserve Our Respect

- Leave a Comment

delivery

1)      The Delivery Guy

Through rain or shine, hail or flood, this brave man will get on that worn-out zero-safety-measure scooter sans helmet and put his life at risk just so you can get your Kafta wo Jebneh Man2ousheh fresh and on-time. You don’t really think about him or the fact that his scooter almost skid under a sixteen-wheeler truck because his insulated delivery bag is too heavy carrying more than four separate orders, who cares that he’s drenched from head to toe, what matters is your food arrived hot and you feel good about yourself when you hand him 2000LL ( less than 2 Dollars) for his effort. This guy deserves a medal so next time you see him give him a hefty tip why don’t you.

Maid in Lebanon

2)      The Washroom Attendant

This woman has to deal with your shit. Literally. She’s seen it all and most of the time people treat her like she’s invisible, no hellos no thank yous. Sometimes she even has to take the role of a peace keeper especially when two drunken males or females are having a little I was-here-first toilet face-off.  She will work up until the wee hours of the morning wiping barf of toilet seats for a measly $150/month and probably have to clean her boss’s house the next day and babysit the kids. So be nice to her, don’t make her life any harder than it should be and try to aim IN the toilet.

sukleen

 3) The Sukleen Cleaner

Never mind the politics behind Sukleen. I’m talking about that poor fellow at the very bottom of the food chain that’s picking up the cigarette bud you so unhesitantly flicked out of your car window. The guy that keeps the city you live in clean so you don’t poison yourself with your own filth, yes him, the one that escaped poverty from his own country to come and become a slave in yours.  The one that’s caught more skin rashes than you know how to pronounce just because your lazy ass  can’t be bothered to wait until you find a garbage bin. Would you throw a can of soda on the floor of your own living room? I hope not, so I don’t see why you would behave any differently outside!

red cross

4) The Red Cross Volunteer

The hero of all heroes. While most of us are throwing back cocktails on a weekend night this altruistic person volunteered his/her time, for no remuneration whatsoever, to save someone’s life because that someone made the stupid decision of drinking and driving and ended up crashing their car into a sidewalk.  The Red Cross Volunteer will administer first aid on you because he/she went through hours and hours of vigorous training while you slept in on Saturdays. All this while he juggles a part-time job to pay his way through college. So instead of spending a $100 on some drinks tonight go donate them to the Red Cross.

 

 

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

- 30 Comments

jasmine

You loved The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Men, and since I’m all for equality this sequel was only fair.

1)      When you first met her at a club she seemed like the most outgoing fun-loving party girl who wanted to grab life by its horns.  She made Lindsay Lohan look like a homebody. Fast forward to two dates later and she’s dropping the “M Bomb” on you. Yes, already. She brought up marriage so casually, practically implying it’s a condition. At this point you’re completely oblivious to the trap she just set for you. You would have agreed to anything just to get some . Now you’re about to drop a hefty down payment for that 700 plus wedding, jokes on you! Muhahahaha

2)      Excessive complaining followed by a chance of tantrum. Just like Australia is known for its Kangaroos, we Middle Eastern women are known for our soap opera-like tantrums when things don’t go our way. As a rule of thumb, NEVER attempt to win an argument; you will be annihilated for the mere act of trying.  And when all else fails- we’ll call in the tears. As soon as you spot them apologize IMMEDIATELY. If you’re not sure apologize anyway.

3)      Zero notion of Time. Fake lash application is more complicated and meticulous than you know. (anyone else can’t get than hang of it?) So If you need to be somewhere at 10pm just subtract that number by 3. So 7pm means 10pm.  2 mean 5. Simple math and no one’s late. I love win wins.

4)      Drama, we live for it, attract it, crave it, create it, and when all else fails, imagine it. Even if it’s a perfectly nice day and you’re having a stroll in her favourite mall, drama still lurks in the shadows. It could her over-protective mother barraging her with calls inquiring about her whereabouts or some random girl shop girl giving her attitude. They ruined her mood and now you and that unsuspecting waitress are going to pay. Brace yourself, put on your headgear and get ready to roll with the punches . Nod and agree (and nod) with everything she says and pray for the shit storm to pass.

5)      Part of what makes you a gentleman is your ability to finance everything. If you don’t then you’re either cheap or poor and both won’t do.  It’s pretty straight forward

6)      No you can not be friends with your ex-girlfriend or any other female friend for that matter even if she’s married with kids. It’s a territorial thing. And all your male friends need to pass a screen test where she will filter them out and decide which ones will do and which will not. No you do not get to have a say.

Did I miss a few?

Also See

What Men Really Want, Especially Lebanese Men