You loved The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Men, and since I’m all for equality this sequel was only fair.
1) When you first met her at a club she seemed like the most outgoing fun-loving party girl who wanted to grab life by its horns. She made Lindsay Lohan look like a homebody. Fast forward to two dates later and she’s dropping the “M Bomb” on you. Yes, already. She brought up marriage so casually, practically implying it’s a condition. At this point you’re completely oblivious to the trap she just set for you. You would have agreed to anything just to get some . Now you’re about to drop a hefty down payment for that 700 plus wedding, jokes on you! Muhahahaha
2) Excessive complaining followed by a chance of tantrum. Just like Australia is known for its Kangaroos, we Middle Eastern women are known for our soap opera-like tantrums when things don’t go our way. As a rule of thumb, NEVER attempt to win an argument; you will be annihilated for the mere act of trying. And when all else fails- we’ll call in the tears. As soon as you spot them apologize IMMEDIATELY. If you’re not sure apologize anyway.
3) Zero notion of Time. Fake lash application is more complicated and meticulous than you know. (anyone else can’t get than hang of it?) So If you need to be somewhere at 10pm just subtract that number by 3. So 7pm means 10pm. 2 mean 5. Simple math and no one’s late. I love win wins.
4) Drama, we live for it, attract it, crave it, create it, and when all else fails, imagine it. Even if it’s a perfectly nice day and you’re having a stroll in her favourite mall, drama still lurks in the shadows. It could her over-protective mother barraging her with calls inquiring about her whereabouts or some random girl shop girl giving her attitude. They ruined her mood and now you and that unsuspecting waitress are going to pay. Brace yourself, put on your headgear and get ready to roll with the punches . Nod and agree (and nod) with everything she says and pray for the shit storm to pass.
5) Part of what makes you a gentleman is your ability to finance everything. If you don’t then you’re either cheap or poor and both won’t do. It’s pretty straight forward
6) No you can not be friends with your ex-girlfriend or any other female friend for that matter even if she’s married with kids. It’s a territorial thing. And all your male friends need to pass a screen test where she will filter them out and decide which ones will do and which will not. No you do not get to have a say.
Did I miss a few?