Some people take longer than others to find their soul mates. It happens. Heck some people search their whole lives. No one is immune to loneliness. But sometimes loneliness can make people do some strange things. Add some raging hormones to that mix and you’ve got yourself one desperate individual.

Her name is Hoda and she always does the same mistake with every guy she meets: she comes off way too strong. She once invited a guy she started seeing for two months to the Maldives. She tried to trick him into going with him as just “friends.” She broke the news to him after two bottles of wine. He impulsively agreed at first. But the next day he came to his senses, the thought of traveling with a girl he barely knew to a honeymoon destination freaked him out. Naturally.

She wouldn’t have any of it. She guilted him into it by claiming she had already put down a payment. He reluctantly agreed but was so weirded out by her insistence, he tried to avoid her for the two weeks ahead of the trip. She didn’t care. As long as she had him to herself for an entire 10 days in a secluded place, she would let him have his freedom.

In a frantic attempt a week before the trip he told her he had just realized his passport had expired. She had a meltdown. He wanted to run as far far away he couldn’t. It was too late. She reassured him once again that this was casual trip between two friends. He succumbed.  Little did he know how much lingerie shopping she was doing.

She bragged to friends about her new man and how he was “already” spoiling her with a trip.  The people that knew of her history felt bad for him.

So off they went, she tried to hang on to his arm the entire time but he kept trying to avoid her grip.  He was shocked to find out she had gone ahead and booked the honeymoon package for the both of them claiming it was “cheaper.” Rose petals and a swan-shaped towel on an over-sized king bed. He was stuck.

He didn’t touch her the entire trip. He just couldn’t. She took hundreds of pictures to post on Facebook on an album that looked like two lovers on a romantic getaway. He untagged himself in all of them. She tried to get him to drink and relax but he was on his guard. Something didn’t feel right. Her emotional neediness had taken a toll on him and he couldn’t wait to get back to Beirut. He broke things off the as soon as they arrived. She still tried to creep her way into his life but he couldn’t handle more of her so he went ahead and ignored her calls. She went around down badmouthing him to common friends. Now he was labelled as the Ahole that “took what he wanted” and bounced.

She’s back at it again now in search of the next sucker she will make her pretend boyfriend.

More on The Crazy Girlfriend Series here