This week was red carpet par excellence for Lebanon with not one but two awards ceremonies, The Murex D’or and the Biaf. And if you were hoping to spot the latest international red carpet trends in couture don’t hold your breath darlings, we like to do things a little differently here and over-the-top doesn’t even big to describe it. So if you want to fit in make sure you got these below red carpet tips covered because if not you might go unnoticed or (gasp) boring- and lord forbid that ever happens to your career.

1, Begin by enlarging your head, it has to be at least three-to four times bigger than your actual body and it will be one hell of a balancing act. Lebanese hairdressers are specialists at this infamous signature chignon so don’t you worry. All they will need is their ego, a year’s supply of hairpins and of course enough hairspray to annihilate a population of cockroaches. Et Voila madmoiselle, tu es une star.

2. A mask, and no I don’t mean one you can put on, it has to be hand- painted on you by a makeup artist with a supply of K Stars makeup. Do not proceed without letting him know the color of your gown and make sure you stress that you want your look to be a huge “succès.” Steer clear from earthy tones and remember highlighter and strong pigments are your best friends. Get a head start by retouching those eyebrow tattoos a week or two in advance. Let go of your instinct, trust his touch and let the magic begin.

3. Research all the techniques that flatter your body type, now proceed to make sure you don’t follow a single one of those tips, rules are made to be broken anyway. Be tactical about what you want to reveal. Chubby arms- go for a tube cut. Large breasts- you will need two sizes smaller to highlight that décolletage, Thick thighs- Something see-through and short. Huge waist- No A-line cuts for you. Overweight- big prints bright colors and sheer fabrics! Over 50? Dress like you’re in your 20s. You get the drift…

4. Choose a Lebanese designer who’s name is followed by the words Haute Couture,one that loves all types of fabrics, together at the same time, without discrimination. We’re talking tulle, organza, satin and lots of lots of lace. Someone who wants to make a walking masterpiece out of you with a keen eye for producing cheap replicas and a love affair with bad embroidery and terrible finishing.

5. The whole simplicity is sophistication is just a silly myth, more is more, and adding accessories to your outfit will only put the odds in your favor and get you the recognition and fashionista title you deserve. Wanna throw on all your accessories including your everyday watch? Go for it. Feel like putting on that hat you’ve had in your wardrobe for years? Knock yourself out. Wear whatever jewelry is handed to you, you’re a star darling after all and stars need bling.

6. Give us that old school 90s hand-on-hip pose, as soon as you spot the camera. Who cares if it’s cheesy and makes you look like you’re posing way too hard, there is nothing natural about your entire look anyway so you might as well just werk it gurl, you are fierce!