Ivy Says

Jack is undoubtedly one of the world’s sleaziest men.  If a grease ball would manifest itself on earth, it would surely be him. Before his status on Facebook changed to “engaged” he was roaming around town hitting on anything and everything that could walk. I happened to come across him at a dinner. He literally hopped over, sat right next to me and tried to charm me with his intellect. He’s not ugly, he’s just unbearable. Take away, the cake-y hair gel, the ridiculous over-sized Ralph Lauren polo logo, the excessive chest hair, the gold chain around his neck (and matching bracelet) , the cowboysish shoes- (don’t even get me started on those shoes), then he may, JUST may, pass as a good looking guy.

He’s a hard worker, having landed a job at one of the top consulting firms in the world and trust me, he NEVER fails flaunt to it; his business card precedes any introduction. He called me “ ya hilweh” and said I would make a great addition to his team at work- after only two minutes of meeting me. This was a year ago, I somehow got suckered into adding him on Facebook, what’s worse,  I actually chatted with him on Facebook chat once. Just once. What?? I was feeling vulnerable!

Anyways, it seems the man was on the lookout for Lebanon’s top airhead to make his wife.  Actually, let me rephrase, he landed the Lebanese version of Catwoman!  Why  some men wanna make aspiring porn stars their wives is beyond me, but let me get to the point.

She practically wore a negligee to the wedding, he, a silver suit. They looked absurd, like a low budget scene from a cheesy 80’s video. There are pictures of him lifting her up in the air whilst guzzling into her cleavage during the wedding. A sight for sore eyes.

And now the honeymoon pictures are up and I can’t tell you how giddy I was when I saw them on my Facebook homepage. I wasn’t however expecting the R-rated factor. Yup, really raunchy pictures of the both of them, almost naked in Hot tubs on some magnificently exotic island groping each other. Even worse, shots of them about to give each other hot oil messages, shots of her giving him “come-get-me-tiger” looks and too many rose petals everywhere.

I know I know, I’m partly at fault here, after all, no one slapped my wrist and forced me to witness these unconventional displays of affection, but have we not gone too far? Whatever happened to sacred intimate moments , have we lost all our sensible notions of privacy or are we  too busy enjoying sharing everything with the world to care anymore? Bisoux

Want more? check out  my previous post The Indiscretions of Lebanese man