My good friend Sara is what some, or in this case, many, would view as promiscuous. As her friends, we’ve just learned to put our moral judgments aside and consider her outgoing. On the contrary, we respect her, because she refuses to hide her love for men, many men.
It’s not like Sara dresses like a street walker and throws herself on men, come to think about it, compared to many well-respected women in Beirut, she looks like a nun, I kid you not.
It just happens that if Sara happens to like a guy, she will probably take him home right away.
If you ask Sara she’ll tell you she doesn’t want to pretend to be someone she’s not, she is who she is, does what she wants to do, some men can handle it, some freak out and run for the hills.
Did she develop a reputation? Sure she did. We’re in Lebanon; a stray cat would develop a reputation. We walk into clubs and we’ll have a random flock of girls, simultaneously twist their necks back to stare and bluntly point her out as they ferociously start whispering. If you look a little closer at the table, you may notice that it may be because Sara once dated a couple of their boyfriends.
One of the most common reactions people about her: “But she has to conform to society, she doesn’t live alone, she should respect her surroundings, or move to Europe or something.”
We’ve all had our share of talks with her at some point, advising her to tone it down, but the fact of the matter is, we all somehow envy her, for refusing to put on the act that everyone wants her to put on, she’s comfortable in her own skin and doesn’t need to pretend. Meanwhile, many girls hold a close record to Sara’s when it comes to men, but they’ll take that with them to the grave.
On numerous occasions we’ve even found ourselves on the front lines of having to defend her right to make her choices as she pleases. She doesn’t feel that sexual freedom should be limited to an exclusive committed relationship. Yet in Lebanon, if a girl can no longer claim (or prove) that she’s saving her virginity for marriage, she’ll justify her history by claiming it was only this “one” guy and they’re in love. The mere idea that a girl has to justify anything to begin with is proof of the deep levels of hypocrisy and prejudice entrenched in our culture’s obsession with taboos, but the fact that a girl will lie to comfort these moral judgments, makes her an enabler and at times, an enthusiast to this BS. Thoughts? Bisoux
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I really agree with this post. Before we can claim to be “modern” and more western (whatever that means) we have to learn to stop judging others (lest we be judged, right?) Good one Ivy!
Conclusion: we, as human beings, again, human beings, have regressed to a bestial level, where, we are envying others because they are having more sex with whomever, whenever, wherever, however they want. It doesn’t stop with envy. Another conclusion of the blog: If you are doing it, please share it. If you don’t share that you are doing it, then you are not just the victim, but an enabler of bullshit. I assume here bullshit signifies staying private about your sex life.
And then of course, the same old chorus: a society that’s entrenched with deep levels of hypocrisy and prejudice. Have you ever known of a girl, any girl who, when she finds out her bf’s magical number, goes, nope, you’re a manwhore, sorry. Is it not true that “Experience” whatever that means, is what girls are looking for, and is it not true that the higher the number, the bigger the man becomes, and the more significant becomes their quest of taming him? My conclusion: has nothing to do with hypocrisy, a man is just “reaching out to his market”
In an instinct-driven, cheap thrills agglomeration of people, you’re absolutely right, no one must justify anything; in a civilized society, thank god justification is there to put some restraint on people.
Nice article 🙂
reading it made me post on of my own..
check it out if you want: http://lifeasiseeit.tk/
titled: ” As a Lebanese guy, I apologize for being a Hypocrite”
I never met Sara, or seen her.
But I think she is awesome :).
Does Sara have low self-esteem?
In my experience, some women (and men) who are overly promiscuous are usually trying to overcome another deeper issue.
Could be anything (obvious one is abuse as a child), but the sexual promiscuity can be the manifestation of another problem.
And the whole judgemental thing is Lebanon in general. You get judged for everything you do/don’t do.
Well Sara has the right to be who she is and she’s doing it right by just being herself and there’s nothing wrong with that!! Some people have sexual needs more than others and it’s quite normal, so there’s no need to judge anyone here coz first u have to take a look at urself before spitting one word about another human being. And the Lebanese ppl are so constipated and think they are so much better that they even do the same as Sara but they don’t admit it. As Ivy mentioned some girls say it’s only this one guy we’re so in love etc..but in truth they had done it with maybe 2 guys before that!
So what I say again let her live her life and let her be.
hi everyone,
sorry to interrupt, i’m just kinda worried for her health
The most reliable ways to prevent STDs are:
Abstain from sexual intercourse (i.e., oral, vaginal, or anal sex)
Be in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner
I think that Sarah is a grown woman and should be allowed to do whatever she pleases! I admire her for being strong enough to be true to herself, especially in a society like this one. I’m sure all of those girls who are hating on her secretly wish they were doing the exact same thing!
Hehehe I don’t like your response Danielle,I myself am an open minded person ,but I don’t think being promiscuous makes a person more open minded just because she’s sleeping with more men,I don’t hate Sara,but I think she’s just jumping onto men ,yeaaah maybe she has deeper issues ,is she that bored that she can’t commit herself to one man , I’m not judging her because she’s sleeping with lots of men but because many people like her throw themselves for sexual motives,why????Because either they’re not satisfied with their current partners ot don’t have partners or simply because they’re bored,there are way more ways to revive a sexual relationship than going vanilla with many men and I’m not hating on her to be in her place ,if that’s what your response will be