My friend Hani is a workaholic. He dates often but only at his own convenience. He’ll go out with the girl he’s seeing once during the week and once on the weekends. These are not frigid rules, but his work, interests and hobbies come first. He just started dating Dina, she’s 27, been single for just over a year now and she’s always up for a good time- at least that’s what she claimed when they met.
They met at a bar and hit it off right away. A few weeks later he introduced her to his friends and things seemed to be off to a good start. She made it a point to constantly remind him of how independent and successful she is and he loved it. It was so refreshing for him to finally find an easy-going girl.
But he was wrong- she finally dropped the bomb on him this weekend during dinner.
“I wanna know if you are serious about us” she announces right off the bat.
He was caught off-guard but was also genuinely disappointed. They’ve been together for 4 months. He understood exactly where the question would lead to and felt betrayed that he suddenly had to provide her with a relationship forecast. He explained to her that he simply wanted to have a good time with her, without necessarily “planning” for something to happen. If what they had would develop into something down the road, then great, but he wasn’t willing to make any commitments for the future so soon just to put her at ease.
She was appalled by his reply, her eyes swelled with tears as soon as the words left his mouth. “Then this is a waste of my time!” she confessed.
Hani did not see that one coming either. And mind you he doesn’t have commitment issues. All along, Dina seemed like the perfect laid-back girl. She kept differentiating herself from the crowd and that’s what kept him into her. Now, she was having a mini-tantrum about their future when it hit him, he didn’t even know her that well.
The point is Middle Eastern girls are constantly perceived as girls who are on the prowl for a husband. Of course, that’s just another generalization amongst a sea of many. But in some cases, it may be true, 4 months into a relationship is too soon for that sort of talk so why are we always in such a rush?