Lonely In Beirut? Not Anymore…

One of my readers sent me a link to get this- a site called Lebanon Escorts; Your Life, Your Escorts. Now before you get too excited the site is quick to remind visitors that it is “only an escort girls guide listing independent female Lebanese escorts providing services in Beirut and all of Lebanon”  NOT  an actual escort agency.  Here are a few more highlights of their About US section:

We do not currently have listings of Syrian girls, Moroccan escorts nor European female companions.

We repeat that our Lebanese female escorts are only available for outcall services catering to Beirut hotels only.

 We’re no in call escort agency and our escort girls don’t provide any in call escort services in Beirut.

 We’re an escort directory providing listings of escorts in Beirut, Lebanon. For Serious Gentlemen only please.


What caught my eye is  a listing they have for an escort agency supposedly in Lebanon called- Straight Off The Bat,  here is how these folks like to advertise themselves

“Our escorts are not Super Models or “Ex-Models” They’re  your beautiful girl next door Lebanese girls.

Our girls are all natural.  Natural meaning “No plastic surgery, Like some Lebanese models or ex-models”.

Alright, now, I don’t know where you guys may live, but the girl next door to me most definitely does NOT look like that girl in the picture! And even if you lived next door to a brothel, I’ve seen some “artists” in Maameltein, and trust me they look nothing like that blonde chick they have on the site.

The most entertaining part of it all is the profiles of the escorts they have listed.

Meet Sami, he is not a hairy Lebanese guy and he wants to prove it to you.  He has “handsome weak body” whatever that means. He charges $750 an hour. Damn he must be good.

Meet Carla, she has “Weak body, Medium tits, Bombe.” I have no idea what that means either. Carla can escort you for $350 an hour, that’s $400 less than Sami. Damn that Sami must be REALLY good.

Here’s the thing, I’m a firm believer in freedom for all to do as they please, as long as they’re not harming or violating anyone’s rights, but the last time I checked Lady GaGa’s album was banned in Lebanon, so was Anne Frank’s diary, French artist Patrick Bruel was not welcome and the comedian Gad El-Malek was practically shunned. All those artists and the ideas they pass off may corrupt our minds with bad bad ideas, yet Mira and Sami  will help revive our economy? Bisoux

36 responses to “Lonely In Beirut? Not Anymore…

  1. I couldn’t help but chuckle at this post. Gosh Sami…. for a price like that you’d think it would be the MP ;) :P

  2. hahahaah Weak Body… direct translation of LEbanese. Jism d3eef. (as skinny)… it became weak. HAAHHAHAHA…

  3. oh wait… Sami has 34C…LOL!

  4. No Plastic Surgery … are you kidding me !! almost every girl on this website has at least her nose done !! But yeah it’s the funniest thing i have seen in a while :)

  5. and Straight off the bat!! are they selling fruits and vegetables??

  6. i juste figured out what bombe is!!
    well they meant a curvy ass or as we say in “Lebanese” her ass is ” bombé”

  7. Wow – well one thing is for sure, there is a good market for the guys out there :) But still he could use a tan and a nicer backdrop for those photos.

  8. I love the approach, take a good look at the goods. Carla doesn’t look Lebanese. Probably the client will end up with Em Hassan with a tooth missing and a guy with toupee

  9. Honestly, iza holeh medium tits :P ana nsadamet. fassadtileh akhle2eh hehe

  10. You gotta love the new google image search lol
    Here’s Carl http://bit.ly/lOTb8X

  11. ahahahahahahahahaha OMG that is sooooo funny bombe w medium tits ehhh i think those r extra lage :P hahaha weak bodyyyy ahahahahaha ya 2allah i’m literally laughing guys :P
    Escort companies are not meant to sell body parts (as in prostitution) :P it’s meant to have an escort the literal meaning itself. If u have a party to go to and ur dateless and need a date well u call the escort company to get an escort nothing happens beyond that it’s not a prostitute company! but here in Lebanon they change everything and do it as they please :P

  12. DAYEEM her boobs, that is no way in hell “Medium” :P

  13. wow, we are improving on the market.
    That guy makes in a day more than what what i bust my a** out for all month. I’d love the idea if i work one day and rest for the whole month. I can manage my blog better :p

    I think more of this is coming on the way. Prostitution sites, billboards and tv ads.

  14. hahahahahahahaha, weeek boddy ?? Noway ma kent fhemta if it wernt for one of the comments that were posted,,

  15. Wow this is almost as funny as the post I wrote a few weeks ago regarding the Beirut Craiglist sex advertisements.

  16. LOL. This is insane! Handsome weak body ? lollll

  17. nice tarjame :)

  18. lets all pitch in for 750$ hire sami and make him a surprise party !!!!!!!! i mean damn i am not gay and i am intrigued , maybe he has a golden penis or maybe his penis is the arc of the covenant !!!!!!!!

  19. Online escorting services are certainly not always good and positive.Another issue is the safety and reliability from the services being offered. Well explained by you the aspects of Escorts.

  20. Hahahah i don’t believe u guys .. You stole a pic from another site to say that it’s carla’s pic ? Ahhah ! Hell yeah MAR1 you’re the man !

  21. iyad12312@gmail.com

    I think the sex bizz in lebanon is crazy, I’ve been here 6 month now and I cant believe it, and i grew up in the us. OMG is all i can say. I have to say the girls here are hot, i got tierd of the same blond bimbos everyday.i will do any lebanese girl

  22. I need a lebanese hot babe now.. you may come to padova hotel tonight and knock in my room 504… just came here in Lebanon…

  23. Omg… Are you fucking serious… Hello No… is that your body bro…W.E.A.K.. Lsn bro u have to be teddy bear … Do not think ever never to work in Escort… omg Lamo

  24. i need to work as escort man

  25. 76662164 whatss app ok

  26. before you judge a prostitute, bear in mind that he/she is a human being, much like you, down on their luck (unlike you), who desperately turned to that profession. Rememeber none of them are happy about it, I think they would rather sleep with someone they love, or a cute/beautiful person (one night stand or whatever) rather than a stranger who is probably not that attractive (I am not generalizing).

  27. mmm..is the even legal?i’m Egyptian and i can totally see us advertising such a thing in a way worst than that..and that cracked me up..and carla’s boobs..plastic for sure..damn them lying ass sand niggers:)

  28. 3ltare2a al lebneneye : ma bsadde2 iza ma shefet
    talabeye 3a beirut plz :p :p

  29. So hot

  30. so where is carla ?? and where do i pay

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