Ivy Says

 

 

 

 

Here’s a song that will help you decide whether or not you wanna hit up a club this weekend.  It’s none other than Benny Bennassi featuring Kelis, apl.de.ap, & Jean-Baptiste performing “Spaceship.” And I’m gonna say that after listening, it’s probably gonna be a YES!

So get High. Bisoux

 

Don’t you just love how fast you can forge intrusive close relationships with random people in Lebanon? They truly are unlike any other you will form anywhere else in the world. Undoubtedly it’s the hyper-curiosity factor, that initiates  such conversations; everyone wants to know who you are, where you’re from( that’s a big one) and what you’re up to.

The Dekanjy-You walk into a grocery store and you get that acknowledging smile from the nice old man. He wants to know where you live. Once he gets a clear picture, he probes further. He wants to know whether you “rent” or if you’re a “mishtereh” and of course if you do in fact own property, he wants to know “adeh bil miter.” He may even be brave enough to cut to the chase and ask you how much you paid for it.

The parking guy- undoubtedly one of the most powerful men in Beirut. You arrive late and he wants to know, why. You leave early and he goes     “ shou?bakeer ilyom!” Then of course he wants do know what model/year your car is and the amount of your monthly installments. He also probes about your co-worker who is also late today.

The cleaning lady– she wants to know why you’re not yet married. She yearns to put you on the “right” path. She also wants you to reassure her, that even though you’re not yet married,  a) you plan on marrying the guy that came over to your apartment yesterday or b) you WANT to get married but you’re still waiting for your naseeb.

The mother of three at the gym– she wants to know where you work. She wants to know what you studied to get such a job. She will ask you bluntly and to your face how much you make. And for the finale, she will ask you to find a job for her son. She will also suckker you into giving her your phone number so she can harass you about it.

Ahhh- don’t you just love this place and how you can go from first-base to total exposure in mere minutes. I’m telling you. it’s unlike any other country in the world, our Lebanon.

 

No storm will stop me in my quest for the perfect burger in Lebanon. Next on my checklist was Casper and Gambini’s. Before delving into something more meaty, I thought I would prepare the grounds with a refreshing start.

The Good Melt Burger: I never thought I would say this, but you could ask the chef  to go easy on the cheese.  You won’t feel the consequences while digging into the burger but half an hour after the meal, your tummy may start feeling heavier than usual. The onion rings introduce a new-crispiness to the burger experience that some may love, but conventional burger lovers such as myself may choose to stick to regular soft texture.  The mushrooms will be a pleasant surprise stacked in the bottom.

Th Casper’s Burger: I’m not usually a fan of eggs in my burger, but surprisingly it proved to be of equal significance as the patty in this burger.  The yolk however, became a nuisance as it kept sogging up the bun. This burger is different, and may take some getting used to. The bacon was missing on this one as well, so I considered it incomplete.  Not one of my favorites, but a new experience.

The meat patty factor: I can’t consider a burger, a real burger, if it didn’t come with a nice thick patty and mind you, it’s easy to place a lot of ground beef into a bun, but the secret lies within how 1) juicy the meat can remain while still being cooked thoroughly 2) the spice mix in the meat. I’m happy to say Casper’s delivers on both these prerequisites. Put aside the mountainous toppings on both burgers, you need to get your choppers ready every time you go in for each bite which  you actually begin tasting even before it’s in your mouth; thanks to the real meaty aroma this chunky baby exudes.

The Sloppiness Factor: I have been warned about this burger being one of the sloppiest I may encounter but you can never be that ready. It’s inevitable, when you have that many ingredients, a patty that juicy and a bun so fresh.  So you may find yourself  trying to finish it off with cutlery, but nonetheless the experience remains a good one.

The Fries: insignificant- might as well have not been on the plate.

The Price Range: You can eat-assured knowing that you are getting the value for your money. A salad+two burgers+ soft drinks= LL 63,000. For this type of quality, this may be hands-down one of the best deals in the city.

The Verdict: The Good Melt gets a 8/10.

Casper’s is a consistent restaurant- something many other places in Lebanon lack.

WARNING:These burgers are not for the faint of heart.  Do not bother ordering them if you ” aren’t that hungry.” The portions are generous, so take your appetite with you. Bisoux

 

One of the most telling signs of age is Hangovers. Remember how you would mix vodka, beer, rum,tequila and god knows what during your teen years and still manage to be a human when you wake up. All it took was something fried to make it all go away. Better yet, a couple of hours later you’d be ready to re-live it all again.

Now,  you wake up wishing so bad you had just one more hour of sleep, but remember that your job is actually  financing your drinking habit, plus you looked too excited and healthy when the clock hit 5pm at work yesterday, to pass for a sick day today.

So you give it your best shot and go to work hoping no one notices how slow you are today.  I’m not fooling anyone. Here are some flashbacks of last night. Bisoux

When I first heard about La Senza’s new Christmas campaign I thought it was genius. But then when I got around to watching the Ad, I was rather creeped out by it.  Especially at the start where they start introducing the “notes” and the girls have these strange/freakish smiles on their faces.  It’s like ” hello, as you can see from me boobies I am note G.

And if La Senza was really that intent on doing this- couldn’t they have picked a more, jingly cheery, better voiced crew. But I’m guessing men would probably enjoy the sounds the girls are emitting.

I don’t wanna turn all feminist on you I appreciate a good sexy Ad when I see one but this Ad which clearly targets men- basically reduces women to well – a pair of tits. If you are a women you are now categorized according to the size of your boobs. So sing along with me C-Cups of the world….

I was on the fence about whether or not I liked the add until I saw that La Senza took it one step further, you can now click here http://www.cupsizechoir.com/?k=1 and make your own music by clicking on the girls “notes.” Pervs of the world rejoice!

Seriously?
Are there men out there that are gonna sit around and make music like this? Is it just me or does anyone else think this is just CREEPY!!! Bisoux

UPDATE: It seems like our friends over at La Senza had some inspiration from  oooooouch.com ( You would know that only if you were Brazilian,Thanks for the tip NM)

This is one of those happy romantic songs that makes me heart flutter. It’s called  Just The Way you Are– By Bruno Mars.  How hot would it be if someone dedicated it to you on the radio while you’re driving on the way to work.  And the video is damn-cool. Just saying 😉 Bisoux