Ivy Says

Heartbreak never looked so glamorous. Bisoux

I think we’ve had our fair share of articles by  foreign press claiming how you can ski and swim in Lebanon during the same day. But this one is a little different, Ask Men.com has ranked 29Top Cities In The World to live In and guess what, Beirut ranked 19th!

I dunno who did the research on this article, but I must say, they make some pretty interesting suggestions of places and things to do, that many of you may or may not agree with, understand, or even know…?

Special shout out to my reader Samer Hamade’ for sending this. Bisoux

An 80.5% eh? Not bad at all! We even beat Vegas!

 

 

We are constantly being hammered by the recent political escalations in Lebanon, no matter what we do or how little we care, we are still getting bombarded with the he/said she/said of it all.

So I came up with some tips on how to behave completely oblivious to your unfortunate surroundings. Ignorance sure is bliss. Bisoux

(if you belong to the remaining  50% of the population who were born political analysts then this post is not for you, but rather, for the people who wanna get away from you)

1) Go to Armin Only Mirage On Saturday the 22^nd, decked out in a super ridiculous, flashy rave outfit with a bunch of friends and party like its 1999.

2) When the clock hits 5pm after work, head straight to a Happy Hour at your nearest neighborhood bar; make sure all the TV and radio channels are turned OFF at all times. Buy shots for everyone, like you have a reason to celebrate.

3) Go shopping; nothing gets your mind off Lebanese politics like a good shopping spree. Draining your bank account at this point in time only proves to everyone that you simply 1) do not give a damn about the “tensions” b) can’t possibly believe that we are stupid enough to go to war with ourselves.

 

4) Do not under any circumstance turn on the radio to any Arabic –speaking channel at any point in time, instead focus on new hits such as “Heartbeat”, “Like a G6”, “Only girl” “We R Who We R.”

5) You can spot the frustrated ones right away. If you must walk into a grocery store, do not ask the dikanjy, who is prolly glued to his tiny 1970’s TV why he looks frustrated, just  grab what you need and pay him, if he asks you “ keef sheyif il wade3 bilbalad” drop whatever is in your hands and RUN!  Plenty of other groceries around.

6) See no evil; speak no evil, and most importantly HEAR NO EVIL. If one of your political analyst friends attempts to ruin your lazy loungy wine-guzzling afternoon with politics, make up a family emergency excuse and bounce. Don’t forget to unfriend them on Facebook  and unfollow them on Twitter. It’s the only way my friend.

Back to Basics: There’s nothing like a good old plate of traditional  home-made  “Loubyeh bil Zeit.”

This one had a real nice kick to it, with some cayenne pepper and sweet paprika. Merci Mamma! Bisoux

 

So, I have a boyfriend. I love him and he loves me back. Things have been smooth.

But there’s this ex-girlfriend of his,that he’s been so keen on preserving as a friend. And god knows I have my shares of exes. So I’ve been trying to keep an open mind. Until last night. She pushed my buttons. And now I have to stand my ground and rightfully proclaim what’s mine.

Before I get into it, they broke up because she suffocated him. She wanted to be with him every second of the way, he couldn’t even play poker with the boys anymore. He loved her but- as he says- not enough to give it all up.  Although- I can’t imagine what would be attractive about a man who would actually give it all up?

So we see her occasionally, and I’ve been so casual, kept an open mind, and never let paranoia get the best of me. This is how I see it: If he wants her- he would be with her. Khalas- no drama.

But she has this habit of snapping portrait shots of herself and mostly men- and yes my man seems to be her favorite choice.  So she grabs him, plants the biggest wettest smooch on his face and snaps a pic of it. I let it go.

But the next day she uploads it onto Facebook and makes it her profile picture and tags my man! Before you know it- all her friends are commenting, “love you guys”, “ sooo cute”, “ jamelkon” and it goes on.

And she starts casually thanking everyone, “Thanks girls, love you all.” Bitch

Of course my man untags himself and calls me instantly to explain.  I kept it under control but explained to him that she pushed it. He agrees but hopes I’ll just let the incident pass. I feel like putting her in a headlock 🙂

So what do you suggest I do, shall I let the desperate girl have her moment, or shall I show her who’s the new Sheriff in town? Bisoux