1. It’s okay to say NO. Without giving an excuse. Just a plain No and Thank You. Chances are people who will want to judge you for it probably already have. And the people who know you well enough, will appreciate you for being straightforward. End of story.
2. Speaking of No, be selective. Very selective with the projects/jobs you choose to take on. Not snob-like selective, but precise-like selective. Just because everybody is doing it doesn’t mean it’s the right way of doing things. Pave your own path. To go from point A to D you need to understand what and where point D is and how to get there. So no stopping at point B and C on the way.
3. Always trust your gut, you know that little voice inside your head that keeps telling you not to do it, even though it’s seems like such a good idea at the time. Sometimes even the most calculated decisions are strategic but sometimes despite how everything seems on-point, something can be off even when you can’t really put your finger on it. When that little voice in your head is putting up some resistance, do not ignore it.
4. There is such a thing as over-sharing and that line is almost too invisible to see yourself crossing. Respect the privacy of your loved ones especially when they’re too young to protest. I’m still trying to strike the right balance between “OMG Baby Luca looks so cute in this pic” and just keeping that picture to myself, because well, not everything should be public.
5.No matter how intense the pressure is to stay on top of your game, always make it a point to shut off and go offline, no matter what the opportunity cost. It can be for a couple of hours, days or even weeks (I’m back after a 3 week blogging much needed hiatus, I actually shut my blog down for the re-design) but always make it a point to watch your life live than from behind a screen. Capturing the moment is not the same as savoring it.
6. Speaking of moments, Snap Chat is even better than Instagram. I kicked and yelled and screamed for a year, and two months ago there I was snapping everything from my reindeer socks to the texture of my dogs poop. It’s insanely ridiculous, invasive, irrelevant and oh-so addictive. Follow my adventures SnapChat: IvySays
7. Instagram needs to win the Oscar for fakeness and I’m not referring to the bags. Don’t get me wrong, I love it and have made some great friends through it, but, it’s filtered, staged and it’s not real, it presents the ideal, it says “Check out my life, aren’t you jealous?” without showing you the full story behind it. So if it doesn’t make you feel all that good, don’t worry, it’s normal. Once you accept it for what it is then you can scroll through indifferently.
8. I thought getting married was a big deal, it was, but there is no huger deal in life than having a baby. Producing a spawn of your partner and yourself that you will be completely and utterly responsible for. It is one of the most, frightening, physically and emotionally exhausting, rewarding, fulfilling and beautiful experiences a couple will go through in a lifetime. You will fall in love with your baby so bad it actually hurts.
9. Yoga sounds like some strange stretchy sweat-loving cult, at least that’s what I thought before I tried it. The breathing sounds people make in class make made me nervous, they sort of still do. But I persisted, I thought what could it possibility do to my body that cardio can’t while simply standing or sitting? Everything! Really. I have never seen better results even after hours of jumping off a step with a silly weight rod on my shoulders.
10. I was almost out of breath at the mere thought of going live on air let alone hosting my own show. What if I messed up, what if I choked, what would people think? Even the most experienced TV personality can panic at the idea of live radio. A little over a year through my show Ivy Says on NRJ I go unprepped and unprimped with a cup of Baileys infused coffee on-hand wearing my granny driving glasses. Not only can you conquer your fears you can make them your next vocation.
11. Yes, the internet has made a joke out of contouring, especially when it looks more like “clowning”, but let me tell you, with the right kind of highlighter, concealer and brush, you can work wonders on that nose bump or flaw. Think of it as having good lighting on your face- all the time.
12. The best way to stay fit is to buy really nice workout outfits on a regular basis. The frumpy gym look will only add to the misery of getting yourself to go to the gym when your nice and cozy on the couch. But if you start enjoying how you look even at the gym, you will be there more often, you have my word.
13. We all love compliments, but even when you are doing a fantastic job, rare are the people who will vocalize it and even scarcer are the people who will thank you for it. Sure, everyone likes to be praised but don’t let your performance be dependent on whether or not you feel appreciated. Do it because you’re a professional, because you respect yourself enough to do things the right way and because at the end your work is a reflection of you.
14. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter or help, is not a nice person, so don’t feel immune just because you’re not in their line of fire, your time will come, and it will be ugly. Surround yourself with genuinely nice people, I don’t mean boring people, I mean people with a good core and those are very hard to find these days.
15. Friends can come and go but when the going gets tough it’s family that will be there for you. It’s your mother, father, husband, sister and brother who will be the ones to help you pick up the pieces and put them back together again. Appreciate them. Thank them and don’t forget to let them know every now and then just how much they mean to you.
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My Promises To My Children
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