Combating Two-Facedness, One Woman At A Time

I’m caught up in a hostile episode with a female neighbor at the moment, she’s gotten on my nerves so bad, I’ve even started fantasizing about running into her in the elevator and roughing her up. Only fantasizing- mind you- violence is never the answer my friends,  although a bitch slap may straighten her out.

See we happen to share the same hairdresser, who happens to have a big mouth. And anyone who knows anything about Lebanon knows, that if you wanna tell someone something- tell the hairdresser or nail lady, they will gladly do the dirty work for you.

So this cow, lets call her Fijleh, tells my hairdresser some info about me I would rather have kept private, such as how I’m always shopping (wtf?), how I’m never home (ok mom), how my boyfriend is always over ( jealous much?)  how much power I take from the generator guy a month ( don’t ask), and how my friends and I like to drink on the balcony before going out!

Meanwhile, Fijleh, flashes a big smile whenever she sees me and likes to make small talk  in the elevator. Not to mention how excited she gets when she sees my man,  a cat in heat would remain more composed.  So naturally, when the hairdresser disclosed this , I decided to ignore Fijleh and instead give her some death looks.

Fijleh was at the hairdresser on Saturday when I walked in. She got super-excited and walked right up to me and said ” Hey Ivy, how are you long time no see!.”  She really put me on the spot- the hairdresser and crew were all standing there waiting for my next move, so I just acted completely oblivious , smiled and said ” I’m sorry do I know you?” turned my head away and continued to  flip through my magazine

Fijleh stood there, muttered something and slowly made her way to her chair, all flustered. The hairdresser had a big smile on his face, later he told me how refreshing it was to meet someone who refused to play the two-faced game. Most women would spew lies about each other, but once they meet, one would confuse them for long lost sisters.

I refused to play that game with Fijleh, and refuse to play it with anyone else for that matter. Being sociable holds high priority in my books, but this is downright two-facedness  and it’s super common amongst girls. Some girls live to play it, others tolerate it, because well, it’s just the norm.  We’ve all had the likes of  Fijleh at some point in our lives… isn’t it time we got rid of them? Bisoux