My girl Noor moved to London from Beirut to do her Masters. She was dating Shadi for 2 years before she decided to make the move. Shadi was supportive but sad when she left. They both insisted they wanna make it work. It worked for 6 months. She would text him every day, and he would call her every other day. He’s even planning on visiting her in February.
There’s just one thing- Noor went out clubbing with her roommate’s friends last weekend and danced all night with one guy she found herself strangely attracted to. They ended up going back to her place for some more drinks, good conversation; next thing she knows, Nour and this guy are swapping saliva.
She woke up the next morning swamped with a mixture of guilt and excitement and a hangover. She knew she had betrayed Shadi, but just the thought of the other guy jolted instant butterflies in her stomach.
Shadi called that day and she was dry. He kept asking her what was wrong but she just said she was having an off day. The next day, she had dinner with the other guy.
Nour called me in utter confusion last night. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Shadi but this new guy made her feel this excitement she yearned for. A new guy, a new country a new adventure. But she loves Shadi too much to even risk telling him. He would be devastated.
We both agreed the she was betraying Shadi, but Nour somehow convinced me that before she makes any decisions she wants to see what or where this new fling could lead to. And I know many of us have been there…so I didn’t talk her out of it. I know she loves Shadi and this may not be worth losing him over but I also know that it’s downright cheating. So what do you think? Can this experiment ever be justified, especially if it makes her realize Shadi is THE ONE ? Bisoux
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wait . m confused here. did she or did she not sleep with him ??
its definetly considered cheating and this shadi dude has the right to know and to decide !
Cheating happens for a reason. It’s a signal that something is wrong in their relationship.
“She wants to see what or where this new fling could lead to.”
Ah 3anjadd?
This guy Shadi deserves to be with someone who knows for SURE that she wants to be with him.
No. She should come clean. Not necessarily by discussing the other bloke (who cares — that’s just a detail) but what it’s really symptomatic of: that she’s unsure, that she wants to experiment, whatever.
If her boyfriend is “The One” they’ll eventually arrive at that realization anyway. But dishonesty is not what will get them there.
Otherwise she’s just stringing everyone (including herself) along. Things will only get worse for all.
This is exactly what happens to guys when they cheat , the only difference is it happens often and they don’t feel guilty. hehehehe
I say F$*% it, if she’s not ready to commit , let her enjoy her time. commitment comes with fighting temptations. so until you can win the fight over it, don’t commit.
If this guy Shadi is Lebanese, he’s probably in London humping every woman that passes by. Having been to London many, many times, I can tell you first hand that there is no shortage of those over there.
Wow how did it turn out to be Shadi’s fault all of a sudden. Just because he’s a guy?
It is considered cheating but I think she loves him that she’s definitely sure that she wants to be with him if he were with her,but some things shouldn’t be said,that would complicate things even further ,that doesn’t mean he’s not cheating on her too and even if he’s not cheating ,I think cheating is justified is some situations ,she can’t abstain herself forver,this isn’t fasting for god’s sake.
I wouldn’t say anything is exclusive unless a commitment has been made which is obviously not the situation here. So let her have fun, Shadi is clearly not the one bur she’s afraid t to let go of him because she isn’t sure this new guy will stick around. The same applies to Shadi, s hould she know of any “experiments” he has going on she shouldn’t feel the least bit offended.
yeah I like what lllseez said. Makes sense.
Sahdi is light headed if he ever thought his gf was gna stay loyal, despite their love.
at the end of the day life is a jungle that contains both hunters & farmers.
his love is being hunted as we speak! judging how things r going, it’s only a matter of time until the kill takes place.
that’s y people, u should never venture in long distance relationships.
Nour and this guy are swapping saliva –> disgusting
Mmmmm… Maybe what i am going to say is a bit of topic and regardless if it represents my opinion or not!!… So make sure u read with an open mind 🙂
let’s break this thing into pcs, what is the nature of this relationship with Shady? is it fun, light, bf-gf thing? or is it eternal love and planned future with exchanged commitments??
if the casual (even if 2 years), i think then it is ok for now.. if the planned, then i think it is critical and she needs to tell him and let him be the judge
but yet again, food for thought and playing a bit of a devil’s advocate which is a way that i like to process things.. why is sex a sign of treason? is it overrated? what are other tangible / intangible things that might happen where you feel your partner has betrayed you????? maybe this point of view is a bit controversial to many but think about it
N.B: Julia Roberts in “pretty woman” did not kiss as an act of love.. Mmmm
Ivy, you have too many clues for us 😕
I think honesty is best. If I was in her shoes (n I kinda was lol) I would come clean. I guess I would do it because I would want him to be honest with me. how would you feel if you married a guy who you found out years after your were married that he had cheated on you? Idk, I know I thinkabout things way tooo far and wayy too much. But i guess dishonesty is something I fear.
Is it okay for him to meet other girls n go on dates?
Sooner or later, Shadi will find out and she will be in such a bad position to defend herself in any way. Regardless of the cheating part, which isn’t to be overlooked.
Let her take a break from Shadi, have a clear conscience, take care of those butterflies, and if things are meant to be later on..
They will be.
why is always ok for a girl to cheat? hehehhe
-she’s away in a new town
-Shadi “might” be cheating
-she has butterflies (really? butterflies?)
-it’s long distance, so things are shaky
but when a guy cheats:
-HE’S AN ASSHOLE , A DOG, HE CAN’T KEEP HIS DICK IN HIS PANTS 😀
hahahahaha I mean com’on: – a girl should get a second chance, but a guy has a stamp on the head :”once a cheater always a cheater”
If you gotta cheat, deal with the consequences 🙂
if Nour wants to play with both then to be fair ;when Shady visits in Feb he will have to discover the art of a Threesome then it is up to him to decide if he wants to continue and upgrade the relation “sharing is caring”
Ok, here’s what I think:
“She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Shadi”, I mean come on!!
When you cannot bear the thaught of loosing someone you don’t go and throw yourself at a guy you just met in a club and you end up going back to your place for some more drinks…
Did she really care about Shadi’s feelings the other night?
I bet he didn’t even cross her mind!
So please don’t go acting like you dont wanna hurt the guy’s feelings when you didn’t think twice before cheating on him…
“She wants to see what or where this new fling could lead to”????
Come on is this fair to Shadi?? The poor guy’s think that his gf is out there missing him while she’s thinking of replacing him with another guy, and for now she is still in the trial phase, comparing both…
I mean really, how would Noor feel if she where in Shadi’s shoes??
I was once in a similar situation (but I didn’t go that far with the guy), we were just in the getting to know each other phase. It made me feel so guilty and confused. Then at some point when I couldn’t take it anymore, I realized that I simply was not ready for the kind of commitment my bf wanted, and that I needed to live another experience. I just ended it. There is nothing wrong with not being ready, the problem is in keeping people hanging, in being dishonest and selfish… So whether it works out for Noor with that guy in London or not, Shadi and her are just not meant for each other: she is still looking elsewhere which means there is something missing in her relationship.
So basically, Shadi is a placeholder … till she finds something better … 🙂
Poor guy.
if it was shadi going out with a girl, dating her on many occasions, and even kissing her, i ery sure you would be on the poor guy’s neck slitting his throat for doing this…
but since nour is doing it, it’s ok.. no harm done… lets wait and see what happens before we tell thisb betrayed guy,,, this is what i call hypocrite
care to tell us what happened with the lovely couple? is she still sleeping around?