The Top 8 Items In A Typical Lebanese Woman’s Wardrobe

1) Skin-Tight Skinny Jeans, most of us would develop breathing problems in them and their strong enough to give the skinniest of girls love handles. Must be embedded with jewels on the back-pockets.

2) Stripper boots, (must reach knee length and be scary-pointy, preferred in shiny black pleather or beige leather) they can be worn absolutely anywhere, shopping, doctor’s appointment, business meetings, parent-teacher meetings and even jogging. ( won’t leave house without matching Bag and Belt)

3) The Bag– Louis Vuitton is most preferred but also accepting Burberry, Fendi and Gucci. Fake or real will do for the main purpose: ATTENTION SEEKING. Usually held up high close to the head or neck.

4) The gym attire- whether she’s in her early twenties, late 40’s or mid-60’s she WILL get her booty marked with a pair of Juicy Couture’s.

5) Sun-glasses– the brand must be labeled in BOLD print on the forefront of these Ginormous shades, Dior or Roberto Cavalli, the people need to know what she has on. Bling is a MUST.

6) Lenses– blue, green, yellow, turquoise, hazel, khaki, you name it. It doesn’t matter that they’re about to pop out of her head, SHE’S WEARING THEM TO THE BEACH!!!

7) The clubbing top– when she goes clubbing, she HAS to dress the part. Black is very popular and tiger print is an all-time favorite, it gives her that S&M dominatrix look. Again she will leave nothing to the imagination, cleavage is critical, how else will she save so much on drinks?

8) The Stockings AKA Collant– she knows she looks like a street-walker, but isn’t that the point? They’re enough to stop any man dead in his tracks. Her kid may tug at them all day and cause some rips, but that just adds to the effect.

Image: contexts.org