Although my Facebook timeline has been flooded with puffy white wedding gowns and cute chubby newborns lately, a portion of my dearest friends (both ladies and gents) are a long way from settling down anytime soon. I say this with confidence because they’re either single and really fed up with mingling or they’re dating someone casually who they would never dream of introducing to the parents.
So you see they’ve settled too, in their own way, either by convincing themselves that they should not bother searching for their Soul Mate anymore, that cuddling is totally overrated and they’re saving their energy for their careers or by pursuing a relationship with a guy/girl who blurts cryptic things like “Marriage is just something society created to organize people”
I’m not going to give you a speech on why you shouldn’t give up ( although you shouldn’t) or reassure you that there is that right person for you out there (I’m a hopeless romantic) I’m just going to share with you a brief list of how you could be enabling yourself from failing to find the right person for you.
1) You’re not going to find your soul mate by being a bitter pissed off person all the time, going on unwarranted rants online and being generally unkind and rude to others just because you want to come off as strong and invincible. It’s just not attractive.
2) You’re not going to find your soul mate by carrying excessive baggage from your past breakups and being paranoid and suspicious because you never want to get hurt again so you go on labeling the opposite sex as “cheaters” or “opportunists” and make wild declarations like “I don’t believe in love” to every guy/girl you meet.
3) You’re not going to find your soul mate by staying in your comfort zone through randomly hooking up with every single guy/girl who’s emotionally unavailable too or by agreeing to an open relationship because you’re scared he/she might leave you otherwise.
4) You’re not going to find your soul mate by creating all these preposterous credentials you require in a partner before you would even consider dating them like, religion, social status, bank account, height.
5) You’re not going to find your soul mate by seeking your parent’s approval because no one is truly good enough for you. Or by purposely pursuing someone who lives abroad because you know they’re going to leave eventually.
6) Speaking of no one is truly good enough for you, I hope you don’t really believe those prep talks. Sure you’re great- in some ways- but you probably have a long list of vices that your better half will have to put up with as well. So take it easy with the whole “no one deserves me” attitude.
6) You’re not going to find your soul mate because you can’t afford to throw a wedding extravaganza and don’t think anyone will settle for anything less.
7) And you most definitely will not find your soul mate if you keep posting silly quotes like “I’m single and free and it’s just me ”
All this is not to say that being single isn’t one of the most amazing crucial independent phases in a person’s life, a time where you can create some of the strongest bonds and make the most amazing memories with friends. But just like staying in college for too long, the fun eventually fades. And I am fully aware that not all of us want the same things out of life; like a beautiful house and bouncy babies. I’m just trying to say that maybe you haven’t found your soul mate because maybe just maybe you’ve inadvertently done everything not to be found.