Tag Archives: women

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

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You loved The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Men, and since I’m all for equality this sequel was only fair.

1)      When you first met her at a club she seemed like the most outgoing fun-loving party girl who wanted to grab life by its horns.  She made Lindsay Lohan look like a homebody. Fast forward to two dates later and she’s dropping the “M Bomb” on you. Yes, already. She brought up marriage so casually, practically implying it’s a condition. At this point you’re completely oblivious to the trap she just set for you. You would have agreed to anything just to get some . Now you’re about to drop a hefty down payment for that 700 plus wedding, jokes on you! Muhahahaha

2)      Excessive complaining followed by a chance of tantrum. Just like Australia is known for its Kangaroos, we Middle Eastern women are known for our soap opera-like tantrums when things don’t go our way. As a rule of thumb, NEVER attempt to win an argument; you will be annihilated for the mere act of trying.  And when all else fails- we’ll call in the tears. As soon as you spot them apologize IMMEDIATELY. If you’re not sure apologize anyway.

3)      Zero notion of Time. Fake lash application is more complicated and meticulous than you know. (anyone else can’t get than hang of it?) So If you need to be somewhere at 10pm just subtract that number by 3. So 7pm means 10pm.  2 mean 5. Simple math and no one’s late. I love win wins.

4)      Drama, we live for it, attract it, crave it, create it, and when all else fails, imagine it. Even if it’s a perfectly nice day and you’re having a stroll in her favourite mall, drama still lurks in the shadows. It could her over-protective mother barraging her with calls inquiring about her whereabouts or some random girl shop girl giving her attitude. They ruined her mood and now you and that unsuspecting waitress are going to pay. Brace yourself, put on your headgear and get ready to roll with the punches . Nod and agree (and nod) with everything she says and pray for the shit storm to pass.

5)      Part of what makes you a gentleman is your ability to finance everything. If you don’t then you’re either cheap or poor and both won’t do.  It’s pretty straight forward

6)      No you can not be friends with your ex-girlfriend or any other female friend for that matter even if she’s married with kids. It’s a territorial thing. And all your male friends need to pass a screen test where she will filter them out and decide which ones will do and which will not. No you do not get to have a say.

Did I miss a few?

Also See

What Men Really Want, Especially Lebanese Men

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Mes Obsessions Du Jour

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Join the Fight Against Tattooed Eyebrows

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Alright. So I’m about to acknowledge the elephant in the country. Someone’s gotta do it already, and I’m taking one for the team.

Two words: Tattooed Eyebrows. We all breathed a sigh of relief as we bid farewell to decades of notoriously pin-thin over-plucked half-moons, little did we know we’d only be paving the way for these jumbo eye-staches? When did it suddenly become cool to have creepy caterpillars on your forehead? Dark, moist, ridiculously thick and worst of all, supernaturally defined and straight substitutes or deformed arches of what was once, hair.

I must have missed the memo, you know the one that incited these poor unsuspecting women to go out in flocks, shave off their eyebrows and replace them with absurd PERMANENTLY tattooed marks on their heads. I woke up one day and everywhere I looked there they were, red ones, gray ones, brownish-orange ones, and very very black ones. The Horror.

No tattooed eyebrows do not look natural. No matter how many times you ask or what ridiculous sum of money you paid for them. No matter what that beautician told you. They just don’t. And they never will. You’ve been punk’d.

Besides, the point of recreating a look is to emulate something that actually exists in the first place. I promise you, the last women that probably sported those things were living in caves and even they felt insecure about them when they discovered the mirror.

And what about when they peel ( yes, those things peel!) if it were up to me, it should be illegal for women to go out in public when they’re freshly inked and their new creatures are covered with this nasty coat of gunk.

I thought long and hard before writing this post. Because I thought of all the women that got them. That’s a lot of women to piss off. But you know what, they should have listened. They had done no justice to their once beautiful faces. You may tell me my opinion is uncalled for. Perhaps.

But there’s one thing I’m sure of, Tattooed eyebrows should be criminalized, if not for the women who wear them then at least think of the  people who have to withstand the pain of looking at them. Because we all know that when you’re speaking to someone with tattooed eyebrows, you can’t look anywhere else but at those things. It’s all you can focus on. And you get caught so many times doing it. And you try and try to look away but you end up staring right at them the entire time.

So ladies, enough is enough, you can fight this, resist the urge to go in for that retouch session, let them go , and in a year or two,  they will fade away like a far distant memory. And if you’re lucky no one will remember that you had the same facial expression for an entire year.

Sign the petition today by leaving your name in the comment section below!

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MTV Video Music Awards 2013: Best Dressed

There were so many disastrous frocks at the 2013 MTV’s Video Music Awards. So so many. And then there was the trainwreck Miley Cyrus who committed every crime against fashion and her dignity that even Helena Bonham Carter was probably shaking her head in disdain somewhere.

So instead of getting nasty I’m going to share with you my choice of best dressed because there were a couple of fabulous gowns that really deserve the recognition.

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

First up is Selena Gomez in this show-stopping Atelier Versace fall 2013 creation. I can’t begin to describe my complete infatuation with this number and how well she wore it although I still view Selena as this younger Disney princess-type. She took this entire look right off the runway including those amazing shoes. I absolutely adore the bustier, the detail and the color. Best dressed hands down!

ciara givenchy

Ciara looked picture perfect in this piece of art couture by Givenchy. The intricate embroidery looks like it’s been sculptured right on to  her body and the feathers at the bottom give it an ethereal feel.  Pure perfection from head to toe.

Holland Roden

I have no idea who Holland Roden is but let me tell you she is now on my style radar. I LOVED this daring ivory Naeem Khan pants-dress combo. Not many can pull off this look but she did so well with her gelled back hair and the crimson lips were the perfect final touch.

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I’ve always been big on long-sleeved dresses ever since Angelina Jolie stunned in that green Atelier Versace … so Girls actress Alison Williams comes in fourth for me in this ivory Valentino Fall 2013 long sleeved, high collared lace dress. She unusually paired it with those Christian Louboutins heels that actually work.

taylor swift in Herve Leger

Ok I love Hervé Léger, so does every girl in the world. And then there’s Hervé Léger and Max Azria. Let me tell you, not many women can pull of this look, and your bust and hips really need to be proportional to be able to fit into this nicely. Taylor Swift’s been blessed with never-ending legs and a tiny frame so although she wears it really well, it’s still a pretty safe bet. I’d love to  see Sofía Vergara’s hour glass rocking this one.

Taylor’s old-hollywood hair and red lip pairing look great but slightly too made up, I would rather see her hair with tousled casual waves.

Want more Red Carpet hits and misses? Check them out HERE

Mes Obsessions du Jour

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For the past couple of seasons I’ve been hopelessly obsessed with animal phone cases and flats. Marc Jacobs was the first to give it a go with his iconic Marc by Marc Jacobs mouse flats and everyone was quick to follow suit. For those of you that thought this goofy trend would fade away, you’re wrong; they are back this season with some more of our cute furry friends. Even Moschino jumped on board with their soft duck and bear cases. The good news, you can get them all online at shopbop.com with  free shipping for all orders over $100 in three days, and yes even to Lebanon.  The bad news is they stopped producing them for the iphone 4.

Haifa Wehbe or Maya Diab: Who Wore It Best

fashion faceoff

Left: Haifa Wehbe performing on Dancing With The Stars back in January in this sheer netted and embellished Nicolas Jebran creation that doesn’t leave much to the imagination. She paired it with an over-sized blingy hair piece.

Right: Maya Diab in almost the same dress by her all-time go-to-designer Nicolas Jebran at Cannes in May. Maya wore her signature big hair and accessorized her look with de GRISOGONO earrings.

So who goes home a winner? Haifa, Maya or should they both get jail time for crimes against fashion?

More Who Wore It Best posts here

Also see Kim Kardashian and Sheikha Mozah of Qatar

 

Ask Ivy: Should Marriage Come Next?

ask ivyThis week on my Ask Ivy Column on Beirut.com I discuss an issue I know many ladies may be going through at some point in their lives.

Picture this, you’re in a steady relationship, things are going great, you love your man but that’s it. Suddenly you’re asking what’s next and he’s acting like you just betrayed the “agreement” you had, whatever that was. In fact he’s even disappointed you asked. So before you overreact click here to read my advice…

Many of us grow up believing we’re attracted to bad boys. But what happens when your girlfriend is dating one of the biggest jerks around. Do you stand back and watch it all go down or take matters into your own hands? Here’s what I think

You can email all your questions to tell.ivy@gmail.com

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IVY Reviews: Shiseido Day Spa

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The lovely folks over at Shiseido Day Spa located in the heart of Ashrafieh really know how to pamper a girl. I felt like a queen for a day as I was greeted by the professional and courteous staff who treated me like I was the most important person in the world as soon as I set foot in the ultra-zen space that imposes this profound peacefulness and tranquility. I knew right then I was in good hands (literally.)

I was surprised to know Shiseido Spa has been open in Lebanon for 14 years with a long list of regular clientele who visit on a weekly basis to get away from it all if only for an hour or two. And though I’ve had my fair share of massage and facial sessions both in Lebanon and abroad, this experience was hands down one of my top 3 favorites. Let me tell you why.

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My session began with a choice of 3 aromas that I later learned would become part of my facial. I chose Jasmine. But first my beauty therapist Perla, whom I highly recommend, soaked my feet in a rose petal-infused tub of water for a couple of minutes. I was a little curious why my feet were getting the class-A treatment even though I was scheduled for a facial. She eloquently explained that relaxation began with the feet. And I can’t tell you how much that works.

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As I lay on the massage table in my big fluffy robe with the serene music playing in the background, I fought the urge to doze off instantly. The therapist began gently removing all my makeup with Shiseido makeup removers and creams and guided me through some deep aroma breathing exercise using the Jasmine scent  I had chosen that put me in a deep rhythmical state of relaxation.

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And that’s when all the magic happened. I signed up for the Hydro-Nourishing Facial, an intensive hour and fifteen minute long incredibly soothing treatment for dry/sensitive skin. This facial uses a Shiseido line of products with ingredients containing the Chinese Yuzu fruit to accelerate skin’s moisture production and Trehalose plant sugar to plump the skin. What I loved about this facial is that it didn’t include any of those painful extraction techniques to remove blackheads but rather a rotating small machine that works its way on the skin’s surface to massage and clean. Next, the therapist began a specialized Japanese mask technique covering my entire face with a combo of cold and hot towels intended to liven up skin cells.

The session concluded with a head, shoulder and hand massage that put me in a state of trance.

I felt like I had just woken up from one of the most peaceful comas as I was invited to relax on a long chair in a room with herbal tea and an assortment of dried apricots, raisins and almonds.

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I touched my face which felt like it had formed a unfamiliarly smooth plump layer and I looked in the mirror only to notice that it was radiant. I was hooked. I knew I had to come back. And though this treatment costs about $120 it is one of the best quick fix relaxing sessions you will get in a country as crazy as Beirut.

I had one of the most peaceful drives back home, not because traffic had ceased, on the contrary, it was rush hour, but I felt as though I have popped some cryptic pill that made me immune to all annoyances and stress surrounding me on the roads, while everyone else was too busy trying to cut through each other, there I was with a big silly smile and magnificent glow on my face.

 

 

 

 

Murex D’Or 2013 The Best and Worst Dressed on the Red Carpet

Each year Lebanon hosts the Murex D’or an award ceremony to recognize the achievements of Lebanese and Arab artists and media personalities in the region. And, since I’ve appointed myself this city’s fashion crime scene reporter I thought it would only be fair I share with you the good, the bad and the hideous.

murex cyrine abdelnour

Cyrine Abdelnour may have gone home with the best actress Murex D’or  for 2013 but it feels like she pulled that disaster of a gown right out of the 8o’s. I really don’t know where to begin. It seems whoever designed this dress couldn’t decide between using the embellishments, the organza, the polyester, the metallic prints and some more embellishments so he decided to throw in everything in there. I feel nauseous just describing it. Total red carpet fail.

lara scandar

Lara Scandar

LOVED her look, and I’m not sure who she’s wearing but that royal blue dress with nude undertones looks like something Elie Saab could have designed. She brings such a fresh young touch to the red carpet and makes it on my best dressed list for the night, especially with that simple messy hair and the ox-blood lips.

Murex Pamela el kik

Pamela El Kik

She’s an actress and no she isn’t in costume auditioning for the role of Rainbow Brite, Pamela El Kik wanted get noticed on the red carpet and she sure got…noticed. Between the dramatically beaded bustier and the colour massacre on the bottom-half and that painstaking metallic purple clutch she may have committed one of the biggest crime scenes on that red carpet to date.

murex nancy ajram

Nancy Ajram may strike the occasional faux-pas when it comes to casual wear but the superstar songstress can do no wrong when picking the right gown and effortlessly complementing her look from head-to toe. She wore this sexy Balmain royal blue dress with simple swept-up hair and accessorized it with a Valentino clutch. Perfection.

murex aline laoud

Aline Lahoud, singer

Oh dear, I feel like I’m about to insult a sweet 12 year old girl who wanted to be a princess but it’s a dirty job and someone’s gotta do it. Let’s start with the Rapunzel hair. I mean come on, what is the meaning of this? Is this supposed to be some sort of breakthrough in the world of hairdressing? And the wedding-dress-gone-bad, where do I begin: the cut, the fabric the ill-fitting waist. If that wasn’t bad enough how about those gold leaves were placed on the side to give it that “edgy” touch. Yeah, no that didn’t work. Good luck recovering from this one.

murex elissa

Elissa’s been having a ball with fashion lately and she didn’t fail to impress in this white Marchesa ethereal gown with intricate beading. I liked that she didn’t do the whole cliché chignon hair women just love in this part of the world but rather kept things wavy and effortless.

murex Maya Diab

Maya Diab

See-through fabric. Check

Figure Hugging dress. Check

Excessive cleavage. Check

Animal Print. Check

Bling Bling. Check.

If Maya Diab is anything she is consistent. She definitely brings the action. Does it make it right? It depends who you ask. But she’s growing on me.

Check out more Red Carpet moments here