Tag Archives: relationships

How To Find Your Soul Mate

soul mate search

Although my Facebook timeline has been flooded with puffy white wedding gowns and cute chubby newborns lately, a portion of my dearest friends (both ladies and gents) are a long way from settling down anytime soon. I say this with confidence because they’re either single and really fed up with mingling or they’re dating someone casually who they would never dream of introducing to the parents.

So you see they’ve settled too, in their own way, either by convincing themselves that they should not bother searching for their Soul Mate anymore, that cuddling is totally overrated and they’re saving their energy for their careers or by pursuing a relationship with a guy/girl who blurts cryptic things like “Marriage is just something society created to organize people”

I’m not going to give you a speech on why you shouldn’t give up ( although you shouldn’t) or reassure you that there is that right person for you out there (I’m a hopeless romantic) I’m just going to share with you a brief list of how you could be enabling yourself from failing to find the right person for you.

1)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by being a bitter pissed off person all the time, going on unwarranted rants online and being generally unkind and rude to others just because you want to come off as strong and invincible. It’s just not attractive.

2)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by carrying excessive baggage from your past breakups and being paranoid and suspicious because you never want to get hurt again so you go on labeling the opposite sex as “cheaters” or “opportunists” and make wild declarations like “I don’t believe in love” to every guy/girl you meet.

3)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by staying in your comfort zone through randomly hooking up with every single guy/girl who’s emotionally unavailable too or by agreeing to an open relationship because you’re scared he/she might leave you otherwise.

4)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by creating all these preposterous credentials you require in a partner before you would even consider dating them like, religion, social status, bank account, height.

5)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by seeking your parent’s approval because no one is truly good enough for you. Or by purposely pursuing someone who lives abroad because you know they’re going to leave eventually.

6)     Speaking of no one is truly good enough for you, I hope you don’t really believe those prep talks. Sure you’re great- in some ways- but you probably have a long list of vices that your better half will have to put up with as well. So take it easy with the whole “no one deserves me” attitude.

6)      You’re not going to find your soul mate because you can’t afford to throw a wedding extravaganza and don’t think anyone will settle for anything less.

7)      And you most definitely will not find your soul mate if you keep posting silly quotes like “I’m single and free and it’s just me ”

All this is not to say that being single isn’t one of the most amazing crucial independent phases in a person’s life, a time where you can create some of the strongest bonds and make the most amazing memories with friends. But just like staying in college for too long, the fun eventually fades. And I am fully aware that not all of us want the same things out of life; like a beautiful house and bouncy babies. I’m just trying to say that maybe you haven’t found your soul mate because maybe just maybe you’ve inadvertently done everything not to be found.

Thoughts?

Also See

8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

6 Reasons Why He Didn’t Call You Back

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

5 Reasons You’re Still Single; The Arab Men Edition-Part I

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

 

 

 

 

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6 Reasons Why He Didn’t Call You Back

So you met this “amazing” guy and thought you hit it off. But you’ve been staring at your phone for 6 days now wondering why he has yet to call. You’ve gone through every moment of your encounter over and over again in your head wondering where it went wrong.

You can stop obsessing now, Here’s why you haven’t heard from him…

ring finger

1)      He has a girlfriend/wife. And she doesn’t usually let him out of her sight. So when he does manage to get away he’s on the prowl. He didn’t really go to the washroom every time he excused himself; he was in the bathroom texting her or putting his kids to bed. You’ve been played.

 

too easy

2)      You put out right away. He’s now categorized you as a “fun-loving” kind of girl aka easy. And your keenness on reminding him that you “never do this” every five minutes only tells him how much you actually do this, even if you really don’t. Men like the chase. And sure, he pursued you all night, but now he has no reason to come back from more. Play your cards right and you’ve got yourself a second date.

didnt put out

 

3)      You didn’t put out. I know, weird. Some men may only be on the hunt for a fast hookup. So when he knows you’re a lady, suddenly he’s lost interest because he’s not ready for potential girlfriend material in his life, didn’t want to work hard for it and just wanted something quick and easy. Consider his disappearance a blessing.

Lindsay Lohan

4)      You scared him off. You didn’t have to tell him how all your girlfriends are married and you’re the only one left. You didn’t have to tell him how your ex broke your heart and most men are jerks. And you really didn’t have to tell him how happy your sister’s kids make you. What did you expect, really!

the chase

5)      There’s hard to get and then there’s too hard to get. Your aloof and standoffish attitude gave him the impression that you’re not that into him, even if you gave him your number. Flirting with the bartender didn’t help either. Loosen up and put you’re guards down even if you’re worried about getting your heart broken.

HighMaintenanceFeature

6)      You’re high maintenance. He was willing to overlook the full makeup look and sky-high stilettos if it weren’t for  your minute-by-minute Instagram updates, excessive texting and the 7 selfies you took and posted in less than an hour. If that wasn’t superficial enough, looking the other way when the bill arrived only made matters worse.

Enjoyed this post? Also check out

8 Reasons Why He Won’t Marry You

5 Reason’s You’re Still Single- The Arab Men Edition

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The Lebanese Politicians’ Wedding Album

He’s Muslim, She’s Christian, All They Need is Love Right! Right??

Dating in Beirut, Ivy’s Dos and Don’ts

 

 

 

 

Ask Ivy: Should Marriage Come Next?

ask ivyThis week on my Ask Ivy Column on Beirut.com I discuss an issue I know many ladies may be going through at some point in their lives.

Picture this, you’re in a steady relationship, things are going great, you love your man but that’s it. Suddenly you’re asking what’s next and he’s acting like you just betrayed the “agreement” you had, whatever that was. In fact he’s even disappointed you asked. So before you overreact click here to read my advice…

Many of us grow up believing we’re attracted to bad boys. But what happens when your girlfriend is dating one of the biggest jerks around. Do you stand back and watch it all go down or take matters into your own hands? Here’s what I think

You can email all your questions to tell.ivy@gmail.com

Ivysays Bisoux

Sex And Burgers Are More Alike Than You May Think

ask ivyOn my relationship advice column on Beirut.com this week, I get asked two very interesting questions:

Dear Ivy,
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I’m 28 and he’s 30. Recently, I decided to talk to him about our general lack of sex. He said that I turn him on, but he just doesn’t get horny that much because he’s spent so much time in the past watching porn (he’s given up porn for a few months now) and also, he said he gets self-conscious about finishing too quickly. I’m sexually frustrated and for some reason a part of me doesn’t believe him! But I don’t want to accuse him of lying after he’s opened up to me. What should I do?

Dear Ivy,
I caught my boyfriend looking at pictures of his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. I confronted him about it, and he admitted he looks at her photos every once in a while, but says it’s because he’s being a Facebook voyeur – just looking – but that it doesn’t actually mean anything to him. What do you think, Ivy?

What do burgers have to do with your sex life and why your man is facestalking his ex? Find out HERE

 

Dear Ivy, My Family Thinks My Boyfriend is “Cheap”

On my relationship advice column on Beirut.com this week, I get asked a very interesting question which has got a lot of people talking. Many couples here find themselves in the same boat and well it just goes to show how messed up the general outlook is. If your man doesn’t have a 3 bedroom apartment with a sea view, a slick ride and cash to burn (no matter how indebted he may be) then he’ll be casted out by those closest to you as cheap or unworthy.

Dear Ivy,

I’ve been dating a guy for about 4 months now. He’s 27, I’m 25. He’s pretty much broke all the time, but that’s because he’s self-sufficient, lives on his own and pays all the bills, and has a low-salary job. It doesn’t bother me, but everyone in my family is constantly putting him down and calling him “cheap.” Advice?

Click Here to read my take on the matter. Do you agree?

ask ivy

 

This Week On Ask Ivy’s Advice Column

Dear Ivy,

Call me old-fashioned, but I want to stay a virgin until I’m married. Now that I’m getting older, I feel like this might get in the way of dating. What if I’m interested in someone and he doesn’t want to wait? Or should I just not be interested in him to begin with?

-Not That Prude

To read my advice  you can visit my weekly column at  Beirut.com by clicking here

Got relationship issues, shoot me your questions at tell.ivy@gmail.com

ask ivy

The Crazy Girlfriend- A Series of Disturbing Events

Some people take longer than others to find their soul mates. It happens. Heck some people search their whole lives. No one is immune to loneliness. But sometimes loneliness can make people do some strange things. Add some raging hormones to that mix and you’ve got yourself one desperate individual.

Her name is Hoda and she always does the same mistake with every guy she meets: she comes off way too strong. She once invited a guy she started seeing for two months to the Maldives. She tried to trick him into going with him as just “friends.” She broke the news to him after two bottles of wine. He impulsively agreed at first. But the next day he came to his senses, the thought of traveling with a girl he barely knew to a honeymoon destination freaked him out. Naturally.

She wouldn’t have any of it. She guilted him into it by claiming she had already put down a payment. He reluctantly agreed but was so weirded out by her insistence, he tried to avoid her for the two weeks ahead of the trip. She didn’t care. As long as she had him to herself for an entire 10 days in a secluded place, she would let him have his freedom.

In a frantic attempt a week before the trip he told her he had just realized his passport had expired. She had a meltdown. He wanted to run as far far away he couldn’t. It was too late. She reassured him once again that this was casual trip between two friends. He succumbed.  Little did he know how much lingerie shopping she was doing.

She bragged to friends about her new man and how he was “already” spoiling her with a trip.  The people that knew of her history felt bad for him.

So off they went, she tried to hang on to his arm the entire time but he kept trying to avoid her grip.  He was shocked to find out she had gone ahead and booked the honeymoon package for the both of them claiming it was “cheaper.” Rose petals and a swan-shaped towel on an over-sized king bed. He was stuck.

He didn’t touch her the entire trip. He just couldn’t. She took hundreds of pictures to post on Facebook on an album that looked like two lovers on a romantic getaway. He untagged himself in all of them. She tried to get him to drink and relax but he was on his guard. Something didn’t feel right. Her emotional neediness had taken a toll on him and he couldn’t wait to get back to Beirut. He broke things off the as soon as they arrived. She still tried to creep her way into his life but he couldn’t handle more of her so he went ahead and ignored her calls. She went around down badmouthing him to common friends. Now he was labelled as the Ahole that “took what he wanted” and bounced.

She’s back at it again now in search of the next sucker she will make her pretend boyfriend.

desperate girlfriend

More on The Crazy Girlfriend Series here

Ask Ivy: The Hottest Weekly Advice Column on Beirut.com

I’m very proud to announce my latest collaboration with Beirut-dot-com ASK IVY!

Each Wednesday I will have my very own advice column on Beirut.com where I will be answering all your questions on love, dating, relationships and any other dirty little thought in your head. No questions are off-limits and you don’t have to reveal your identity so feel free to throw any of your most intimate and even embarrassing topics my way at tell.ivy@gmail.com.

From Boyfriends, Condoms and Creepy Stalkers to Spicing Up Relationships Gone Stale, Bad Breakups and Super Clingy Boyfriends, take a minute to check out this week’s Ask Ivy Column  at Beirut.com

Nosy Lebanon- Please Refrain

One thing  I  can do without in Lebanon:  The constant probing. The entitlement some people feel, to ask you some downright intrusive questions, questions that may be too personal even for US airport security, I kid you not. The problem is with the way these questions sneak up on you, when you least expect them, BOOM, they come right at you, and you stand there, feeling violated, with  no choice but to answer something you just couldn’t imagine sharing with that person. One minute you’re getting your hair washed, before you know it,  you’re telling the hairdresser how much you pay for rent a month and your parents don’t mind that you live alone. WTF?

Scenario One:

I am at  Gloria Jeans Café in Hamra, paying for my coffee. Continue reading

If A Man Could Have Them All, Would He Settle For Just One Woman?

Rani will sleep with anything that walks. He has a weakness for the ladies and he’s not ashamed to hide it. He doesn’t have a type, but the flashiest girl in the room usually gets Shotgun. Blondes usually do the trick. He’s not dreamy, he’s good looking, smart yet goofy. He’s the loudest in the room and his laugh is contagious. He usually travels with hot wing-woman; he believes it makes him more approachable. It does.

Rani’s never been in love- although he thinks he has. Most of those girls were in serious relationships. His friends have tried to tell him, it’s not them he’s in love with, but the fact they’re unattainable. He doesn’t get it.  Every girl Rani can’t get Rani wants.

He’s had some very close calls. They’ve all started off as physical flings. When he finds a girl that is both hot and makes him laugh he’ll have dinner with her. She’ll think they’re dating and he’ll play along, until something better comes along.

Rani’s not a mean guy. He’s actually really nice. He’s confused. Although, he secretly feels like a player, he’ll always deny it. He just feels like a kid in a candy store, and doesn’t understand why he has to choose. He’s not particularly rich, at least that’s not how he gets girls. He’s really funny.

Girls fall in love with him but he leaves a bitter taste in their mouth.

I’m convinced that even the biggest and baddest of players want to be loved. They may not have the will to remain monogamous but they too strive for a relationship, where they can kick back and be themselves. To be with a girl who can throw back some beers, a girl that gets along with “the guys” and a girl that he can cuddle with while watching the Animal Planet. The players that deny this just haven’t found the right one yet.

I can be wrong. Maybe there are some men out there who just don’t wanna settle, those who don’t need to buy the entire cow to enjoy some fresh milk. What do you think? Bisoux