Tag Archives: love

30 Things You’ll Learn By 30

30 things to learn by 3030 things to learn by 30 ivy says

I thought I’d share with you some of the wisdom bestowed upon me from this milestone new decade I hit earlier this year. My 20s were (a little too much) fun and unforgettable, but they were a time when I was struggling to figure things out while getting to know myself as a person.  Now at 30, I can honestly say I know who I am and what I want. And though I realize that some of these points may sound like inspiring quotes, they could serve as a guide and save you a lot of trouble and life-contemplation as you approach your dirty thirty.

1. Blessings do come in disguise. You know how our parents say this to help us stay positive when things don’t go as we’d hoped? Well its true. I’ve had many aspirations that never transpired and I thank my lucky stars today they didn’t, they would taken me on a completely different path.

2. We all seek success but success is relative, there is no textbook metric. A successful stockbroker may perceive a full-time blogger like myself as a complete failure. It really all comes down personal outlooks.

3. Stop rushing everything. I was in a rush to graduate, then I was in a rush to  work, then I was in a rush to get promoted, then to find my better half then get married etc. I don’t regret my choices  but now I realize 30 is really not that old, in fact it’s still pretty young and I could have stressed less because everything would have fallen into place alone and you will never have it all figured out, at any age.

4. Your inner happiness should really come first. Even if it means turning down that amazing job on paper or finally ending it with a clingy girlfriend/boyfriend because deep down you know it’s not what you want. The more you procrastinate the more likely you’re to be stuck somewhere you don’t want to be by 30. Brave it up. Use your 30s to thrive not struggle.

5. We live at a time where you CAN CREATE the job or business you want. When I decided to blog full-time some people thought I had my head in the clouds. Others told me straight up to quit fooling around and get a “real” job. But I just kept writing and writing and writing until I made a living out of it. It’s sounds quite cliché but hard work DOES pay off.

6. Sure Money isn’t everything, but it is something. Never be afraid to put a price tag on your efforts and stick to your guns, everyone will want a bargain but it’s up to you to value your worth.

7. It’s so easy to get cozy in your comfort zone and not pursue things. Resisting change, fear of rejection and adapting to everyday routine may stop you from going after some of the biggest opportunities that may come your way.  Take it from me, leave no stone unturned.

8. I used to want to call out every single person that imitated or copied me, especially since I began blogging in 2009. I’m at a point now where I’m confident enough to know that it’s not a bad thing, it’s flattering to be an influence, even if some don’t want to admit it.

9. Competition can be healthy, but most of the time it’s petty. No matter what you do or where you work, if you’re confident about your skills and talent  you’ll never see others as a threat, rather you’d guide them. Insecurity is so unattractive.

10. Take responsibility for your actions. I used to think apologies were a sign of weakness, how wrong was I. Apologizing and admitting your wrong can only be acquired with time and maturity, not anyone can own up to mistakes but there is an amazing sense of freedom and respect you get from just saying “I’m sorry.” It brings people closer and builds much stronger lasting relationships.

11. At some point you’ll grow apart from your high school besties but the real friendships will be back, you’ve both just been distracted. No matter how many new friends you make, none will be as comforting as the ones who’ve known you, seen you through puberty and still stuck around.

12. Choose your entourage wisely. The people you break bread with will reflect on you whether you admit it to yourself or not. Hanging out with successful people will unknowingly make you more ambitious.

13. Also, choose your battles wisely. But don’t forget to stand up for yourself, even if it means burning a couple of bridges along the way and earning yourself a “difficult´reputation, they may not like you for it but they’ll sure think twice before they mess with you again.

14. Best friends are not made overnight. No matter how strong the connection is. The quickest ones to call you a bestie, will be the first one to drop you when the going gets tough.

15. It’s okay to say NO straight up no matter how difficult/awkward it may be. If that’s an excuse for someone to cut ties with you then better sooner than later.

16. Take criticism, but never from the same person over and over again, you’ll find out eventually that they just don’t like you.

17. I was fast to lose my temper, until I discovered it’s very easy to get rude. Staying calm, collected and composed in the face of adversary is the real show of strength.

18. Getting back at someone because they hurt you doesn’t feel as good as it sounds. The best revenge is indifference. To Truly not give a shit.

19. Never talk about anyone behind their back unless you intend for it to reach them. Assuming anything otherwise is inexperienced.

20. People will always judge you before they meet you, so instead of being resentful, be nice and show them just how much they don’t know you. If they still don’t like you then they just don’t and most likely won’t, move on, you can’t please them all.

21. Take things with a grain of salt.There are two-sides to every story, no matter how much you trust your sources. People may see the dress white and gold others see it blue and black. It doesn’t mean you should always doubt others  but you should most definitely always leave room for bias (and bullshit)

22. Not everyone deserves (or even wants) your confrontation and honesty. Don’t call people out just because you can. Sometimes even when you know someone is being dishonest, sit back, listen and smile to yourself. It falls somewhere under diplomacy.

23. Invest in your own space, even if you’re still single, or can’t afford to buy one, rent one and make it your own, but most importantly move out if you haven’t already. By 30 your parents should be your friends not your caregivers.

24. People who told you to wear sunscreen were not exaggerating when they said it would prevent wrinkles. I started in my mid-twenties and I have to say I’m grateful  but wish I did even sooner.

25. In a couple of years it won’t matter who designed your dress or how many tiers your wedding cake had, the only thing that will count is how much you really make each other happy and just how well you get along.

26. Don’t make announcements you may regret. I used to say kids were not for me, my marriage will be different, “cooler” it will just be us conquering the world. And it was that way for almost five years. Now the thought of a stroller gets me all giddy and excited.

27. Space is as important in a relationship as is time spent together. You don’t have to like the same things, same food or same people or do everything together just because you’re together.

28. You can still eat what you want but work out a little harder. If you haven’t been to the gym in your early-mid twenties it’s very unlikely you will get active in your late twenties and thirties. Remember it’s a lifestyle not a duty.

29. Being self-deprecating shows you have a sense of humor -never resist the urge to laugh or make fun of yourself and more importantly never take yourself too seriously.

30. I’m not going to lie its tough to bid your 20s goodbye and admit you’re 30. But I’m more at peace with myself now,and if I had to choose between what I know now, where I am,  and how little I knew back then, I would always chose now.

 

 

 

7 Things I Did In My 20s and Don’t Regret

30 Thoughts Every Arab Couple Has Before Getting Married

20 Signs You’re Dating An Arab Girl

16 Signs You’re Dating An Arab Man

 

 

 

Beauty Review: Lancôme Miracle Cushion Foundation

Lancome Miracle Cushion Review

At first glance I thought surely Lancôme’s new Miracle Cushion foundation wasn’t for me, as compacts are usually mineral and don’t settle well on my more often than not dry skin. I was however delighted to find out that it’s actually a fluid foundation in a compact package. But here’s what sets the Miracle Cushion apart from the rest, it’s spongy compact that although has been wildly popular in Korea/Japan for some time now it actually has not been available in both the Middle East and Europe.

Until now. Lancôme introduced this to us at a private Mother’s Day event last week and also pampered me with a makeover. A couple of days later the Miracle Cushion arrived at my door and well you can pretty much know how this goes.

Ivy says Lancome Miracle Cushion

So before I blabber on here is my review

Coverage: Pretty light, but it’s quite buildable and your encouraged to do so. So layer it up if the lighter look is not your thing. But at the end of the day it’s a fluid foundation and its meant to look fresh , so don’t expect it to give you what your usual powder compact would. And don’t expect it to work for you if you’re the heavy full coverage foundation type.

Miracle Cushion Makeup Review

Color release: Just a gentle press on the fluid cushion with a the built-in sponge is enough to get a good soak of product on the sponge. Want more? Press harder. Just fight the temptation to stick your entire finger in.

Formula: one of the most lightweight and weightless foundations, I have BB creams that feel heavier. It’s very moist but in a watery rather than a creamy way. It also comes with SPF 23 so this is definitely something you want to keep around this summer.

Lancome Beauty review

Finish: Dewy, sheer and natural. It has a sudden smoothing effect on the skin and is quite hydrating, Again perfect for the upcoming warm seasons and temperature in the Middle East.

Verdict: Innovative. Because I don’t carry my liquid foundation/ BB cream tubes out with me and I don’t use powder compacts. So Lancôme’s Miracle Cushion now means I can have my portable fluid compact with me for a quick use and touch up anywhere before meetings thanks to its built-in mirror. I’d categorize this as your day-appropriate foundation as I tend to go with heavier coverage for my evening looks.

I’m wearing 03 Beige Pêche, here’s how Miracle Cushion looks in natural light

Dana Khairallah Lancome Miracle Cushion review

 More Beauty Reviews by Ivy Says

Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Even Finish Compact Foundation

YSL Le Teint Touche Éclat Foundation

Clarisonic Plus Review

Giorgio Armani Lip Maestro

Benefit Gimme Brow Voluminizing Fiber Gel

Too-Faced Lip Injection Gloss

Lancôme Hypnôse Doll Eyes Mascara

10 Tips To Becoming A Happier Person

ten tips to becoming a happier person by ivy says

1. Drop a grudge. It doesn’t mean you should befriend someone who hurt you it just means you should rid yourself of the hatred you’re harboring. It takes up too much energy. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die.

2. Quit your job. especially if you hate it so much. No plan B? Yeah that happens too. Something better will come along, trust me on this one.

3.Get a pet. even if you grew up in a house that absolutely forbade them. They really are the gift that keeps on giving, provided you train them well. The sheer joy and comical behavior and most importantly unconditional friendship that comes with owning one can is priceless, any god pet owner can attest to that.

get a pet

4. Take up an exercise class; Yoga, Pilates, Zumba, Trampoline, Body Pump anything that requires you to establish a healthy routine and allows you to get moving. It’s not just about getting fit, it’s about dedication and a sense of community. Even when you don’t know anyone in the class, you are all still feeding off each others energy and working as a team towards a common goal- and that’s well being. There’s also nothing like earning a guilt-free dinner.

take up a class

5. Clean out your closet. Face it, you’re probably never going to wear (or fit in) to that dress from 4 summers ago but every time you open your closet and see it there it makes you feel miserable. Get rid of it and make some room for the new.

6. Get gutsy and get that hairstyle you always wanted but never dared to. Get out of your comfort zone, change things up. If you find your hair dull and boring, then make it exciting and new. It’s a major confidence booster that will suddenly make you want to try out new makeup and new styles.

get a new hairstyle

7. Speaking of makeup, no matter how many “I hate makeup” declarations you’ve made trust me when I tell you it can change your entire perspective and cover up some major flaws you’ve been hating on forever. Have your beauty expert friend take you on a makeup spree, and watch how you will LOVE discovering that there really is a product for every inch of your face- and they work!

makeup shopping

8. Stop seeing the same people. I don’t mean you should stop talking to your friends all together, just widen the circle. Be more sociable in your approach, you’re never too old for new friends.

9. Spoil yourself especially if you work hard. For some that’s a day at the spa for others it’s a handbag with a hefty price tag but either way go for it.

spoil yourself

10. Quit comparing yourself to others. Social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook can be deceiving, and keeping a keen eye on someone’s “perfect” life can make you begin to despise your own.

 

 

 

Avoiding Valentine’s Day Clichés For Kotex’s TheMakeOver.me

V day cliche

I know a lot of us both in relationships and single are kind of over Valentine’s day. It can feel so outdated at times. So as one of Lebanon’s first online and radio relationship experts KOTEX has asked me to come up with some new ideas that could shake things up a little this V-Day .

Click here to read my guest post on TheMakeover.me and don’t forget to let me know what you think.

10 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married

Divorce

1. You don’t trust each other, even when you’re together. This kind of relationship is toxic-trust me. You know he has a wandering eye but you’re hoping marriage will fix that, because then he’ll only be yours. Nice try… Why spend your life trying to catch him instead of just going with your gut?

2. You can’t agree on anything. You both thought it was cute when you couldn’t decide on which mini-appetizer roles to order, but it’s not that cute anymore when it involves life-altering decisions like whether you want to move to KSA or pull out a mortgage on a house.

3. You’re at that age where your parents would really like to see you married, so they’re putting on the pressure. And you want to make them happy and proud. So you keep ignoring the signs and just settle hoping it will all work out. You just gambled your life, good luck.

4. You’ve succumbed to life-altering decisions because you were over powered. And no I don’t mean you had a gun held to your head, you just couldn’t win the argument so you just gave in to your own unhappiness- for the next fifteen years!

5. You’ve spent so much time together already, sharing your life together doesn’t even sound that appealing anymore to you.  The spark is gone. That’s bad. No matter how long you’ve been together for, you should ALWAYS get excited at the idea of being together-and yes forever. So if that thought makes you queasy, think thrice. 6. You’ve spent so much time together, it’s only correct you do the right thing and tie the knot. Everyone is expecting you to, especially her parents. Otherwise, it will look like you just dated for fun and wasted her time. GASP

7. You already share an apartment, a car and the same friends what’s an official paper going to do right? Well, not if you’re not convinced he/she is your soul mate. Convenience will slowly evolve into burden and misery and only then you’ll realize what that paper really means.

8. You have totally different outlooks/lifestyles. While you want to save up for the yacht and cruise the Mediterranean, your partner wants to grow veggies on a farm and enjoy the simple life. While he wants to travel the world with his hot-shot consulting job you’re happy just having 3 children right way. You want different things from life – the sooner you come to terms with it, the less difficult you make it on each other.

9. You’re constantly trying to change each other. You think he can be more generous and he thinks you spend too much. It’s all fun and games when you’re just dating but unless you accept each other the way you are, your marriage will become a constant barrage. Throw some children in the mix and you can join the divorce statistics.

10. You want to get married your partner doesn’t. So you keep giving him/her the ultimatum until they give in. Is that really how you want to base your marriage, on blackmail? Think long and hard about it. Read More

How To Find Your Soul Mate

5 Reasons You’re Still Single; The Arab Men Edition

6 Reasons Why He Didn’t Call You Back

8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

20 Signs You’re Dating An Arab Girl

 

1. She’s the jealous type. The last time a hostess smiled and greeted you at a bar she threatened to “cut her”

shut up

2. The first thing she’ll ask you when she’s sees a pretty girl is “do you think she’s pretty?”

anigif_enhanced-17536-1400711770-1

3. Yet  she’s self-obsessed. You never knew someone could love themselves so much.

attitude

4. She’s constantly complaining. About anything and every little thing. Her life is a series of endless rants.

eye roll

5. You’re constantly reminded that she’s better than you and that you  should be grateful she chose you.

get a life

6. Calling her “not nice” would be the understatement of the year. The girl makes Cruela de Vil deserve a halo.

not dealing with your bullshit

7. According to her and her mother, everyone is jealous… of her.

jealous

8. She’s more judgmental than your 80 year old aunt.

My-Big-Fat-Greek-Wedding-quotes-1

9. Yet she’s a major hypocrite. Apparently nothing applies to her.

hair

10. She hates all her friends. But they have no idea.

stabbing you

11. She hates all your friends. They noticed.

dont care really

12. According to her, if  you really loved her like you said you did, then you would give her all your passwords.

HELLO

13. Tantrums are like second nature to her. She has no problem throwing them anywhere.

flip out

14. And just when you’re about to win a point, she wins by crying.

cry baby

15. She’s constantly bragging about how all the guys want her hand in marriage.

lala

16. But the minute you threaten to leave her she’ll blackmail you with suicide.

suicide

17. Part of loving her, means that you get to spend your entire income on her. Every month.

shopping

 18. She’s always at war with someone.

rude

19. She basks in other people’s misfortunes. You’ve never seen her happier.

happy happy

20. Yet, somehow she’s managed to convince you to make her your wife.

marriage

Read More

30 Thoughts Every Arab Couple Has Before Getting Married

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

20 Problems Every Girl Will Face This Summer

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

 

6 More Arab Crimes Against Beauty

 

 

How To Find Your Soul Mate

soul mate search

Although my Facebook timeline has been flooded with puffy white wedding gowns and cute chubby newborns lately, a portion of my dearest friends (both ladies and gents) are a long way from settling down anytime soon. I say this with confidence because they’re either single and really fed up with mingling or they’re dating someone casually who they would never dream of introducing to the parents.

So you see they’ve settled too, in their own way, either by convincing themselves that they should not bother searching for their Soul Mate anymore, that cuddling is totally overrated and they’re saving their energy for their careers or by pursuing a relationship with a guy/girl who blurts cryptic things like “Marriage is just something society created to organize people”

I’m not going to give you a speech on why you shouldn’t give up ( although you shouldn’t) or reassure you that there is that right person for you out there (I’m a hopeless romantic) I’m just going to share with you a brief list of how you could be enabling yourself from failing to find the right person for you.

1)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by being a bitter pissed off person all the time, going on unwarranted rants online and being generally unkind and rude to others just because you want to come off as strong and invincible. It’s just not attractive.

2)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by carrying excessive baggage from your past breakups and being paranoid and suspicious because you never want to get hurt again so you go on labeling the opposite sex as “cheaters” or “opportunists” and make wild declarations like “I don’t believe in love” to every guy/girl you meet.

3)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by staying in your comfort zone through randomly hooking up with every single guy/girl who’s emotionally unavailable too or by agreeing to an open relationship because you’re scared he/she might leave you otherwise.

4)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by creating all these preposterous credentials you require in a partner before you would even consider dating them like, religion, social status, bank account, height.

5)      You’re not going to find your soul mate by seeking your parent’s approval because no one is truly good enough for you. Or by purposely pursuing someone who lives abroad because you know they’re going to leave eventually.

6)     Speaking of no one is truly good enough for you, I hope you don’t really believe those prep talks. Sure you’re great- in some ways- but you probably have a long list of vices that your better half will have to put up with as well. So take it easy with the whole “no one deserves me” attitude.

6)      You’re not going to find your soul mate because you can’t afford to throw a wedding extravaganza and don’t think anyone will settle for anything less.

7)      And you most definitely will not find your soul mate if you keep posting silly quotes like “I’m single and free and it’s just me ”

All this is not to say that being single isn’t one of the most amazing crucial independent phases in a person’s life, a time where you can create some of the strongest bonds and make the most amazing memories with friends. But just like staying in college for too long, the fun eventually fades. And I am fully aware that not all of us want the same things out of life; like a beautiful house and bouncy babies. I’m just trying to say that maybe you haven’t found your soul mate because maybe just maybe you’ve inadvertently done everything not to be found.

Thoughts?

Also See

8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

6 Reasons Why He Didn’t Call You Back

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

5 Reasons You’re Still Single; The Arab Men Edition-Part I

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women