Tag Archives: love

I’m Not Flirting, I’m Just Being Nice!

Posted on March 21, 2013 | 2 Comments

I don’t care how friendly and hospitable foreigners find Lebanon, people are just not as nice as they used to be. Everyone’s constantly on edge, drivers won’t stop for thirty seconds to let you reverse and staff won’t bother greeting you when you walk into a store.

But my please and thank yous have not faltered, nope, they’re so deeply ingrained in me, that at times I automatically thank a customer rep for bad service.

Now that I gave you a little background, get this-  it seems people are a little taken aback by nice people, and tend to misinterpret my politeness and general niceness (yes, I’m actually a nice person) with flirtation and naivety. That’s right.  Men often confuse my behavior with me hitting on them. It’s only when I frown and grunt that I seem to create a sort of unapproachable vibe.

So here it goes:

I’m not flirting if we happen to be seated next to each other and I make small talk. I’m not flirting when I reply to a guy’s funny tweet. I’m not flirting when I greet a parking guy and wish him a nice day. I’m not flirting if I answer  the cab drivers questions about where I’m from. I’m not flirting when I ask the bartender to fix me something different. I’m not flirting if I express my gratitude to the gas station attendant who wiped my windshield. I’m not flirting when I ask the waiter to give me his opinion on the best dish. I’m not flirting when I ask a police man for directions. I’m not flirting when I laugh at an old man’s cheesy joke. I’m not flirting when I ask the hairdresser if a hairstyle looks good on me.  I’m not flirting if I made eye contact by mistake with a guy while stuck in traffic.

I’m just being nice so stop being so conceited!

Have I missed any?

kindness for flirtation

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

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Sex And Burgers Are More Alike Than You May Think

Posted on March 14, 2013 | Leave a comment

ask ivyOn my relationship advice column on Beirut.com this week, I get asked two very interesting questions:

Dear Ivy,
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I’m 28 and he’s 30. Recently, I decided to talk to him about our general lack of sex. He said that I turn him on, but he just doesn’t get horny that much because he’s spent so much time in the past watching porn (he’s given up porn for a few months now) and also, he said he gets self-conscious about finishing too quickly. I’m sexually frustrated and for some reason a part of me doesn’t believe him! But I don’t want to accuse him of lying after he’s opened up to me. What should I do?

Dear Ivy,
I caught my boyfriend looking at pictures of his ex-girlfriend on Facebook. I confronted him about it, and he admitted he looks at her photos every once in a while, but says it’s because he’s being a Facebook voyeur – just looking – but that it doesn’t actually mean anything to him. What do you think, Ivy?

What do burgers have to do with your sex life and why your man is facestalking his ex? Find out HERE

 

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

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This Week On Ask Ivy’s Advice Column

Posted on January 4, 2013 | Leave a comment

Dear Ivy,

Call me old-fashioned, but I want to stay a virgin until I’m married. Now that I’m getting older, I feel like this might get in the way of dating. What if I’m interested in someone and he doesn’t want to wait? Or should I just not be interested in him to begin with?

-Not That Prude

To read my advice  you can visit my weekly column at  Beirut.com by clicking here

Got relationship issues, shoot me your questions at tell.ivy@gmail.com

ask ivy

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

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The Crazy Girlfriend- A Series of Disturbing Events

Posted on December 5, 2012 | 5 Comments

Some people take longer than others to find their soul mates. It happens. Heck some people search their whole lives. No one is immune to loneliness. But sometimes loneliness can make people do some strange things. Add some raging hormones to that mix and you’ve got yourself one desperate individual.

Her name is Hoda and she always does the same mistake with every guy she meets: she comes off way too strong. She once invited a guy she started seeing for two months to the Maldives. She tried to trick him into going with him as just “friends.” She broke the news to him after two bottles of wine. He impulsively agreed at first. But the next day he came to his senses, the thought of traveling with a girl he barely knew to a honeymoon destination freaked him out. Naturally.

She wouldn’t have any of it. She guilted him into it by claiming she had already put down a payment. He reluctantly agreed but was so weirded out by her insistence, he tried to avoid her for the two weeks ahead of the trip. She didn’t care. As long as she had him to herself for an entire 10 days in a secluded place, she would let him have his freedom.

In a frantic attempt a week before the trip he told her he had just realized his passport had expired. She had a meltdown. He wanted to run as far far away he couldn’t. It was too late. She reassured him once again that this was casual trip between two friends. He succumbed.  Little did he know how much lingerie shopping she was doing.

She bragged to friends about her new man and how he was “already” spoiling her with a trip.  The people that knew of her history felt bad for him.

So off they went, she tried to hang on to his arm the entire time but he kept trying to avoid her grip.  He was shocked to find out she had gone ahead and booked the honeymoon package for the both of them claiming it was “cheaper.” Rose petals and a swan-shaped towel on an over-sized king bed. He was stuck.

He didn’t touch her the entire trip. He just couldn’t. She took hundreds of pictures to post on Facebook on an album that looked like two lovers on a romantic getaway. He untagged himself in all of them. She tried to get him to drink and relax but he was on his guard. Something didn’t feel right. Her emotional neediness had taken a toll on him and he couldn’t wait to get back to Beirut. He broke things off the as soon as they arrived. She still tried to creep her way into his life but he couldn’t handle more of her so he went ahead and ignored her calls. She went around down badmouthing him to common friends. Now he was labelled as the Ahole that “took what he wanted” and bounced.

She’s back at it again now in search of the next sucker she will make her pretend boyfriend.

desperate girlfriend

More on The Crazy Girlfriend Series here

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

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Ask Ivy: The Hottest Weekly Advice Column on Beirut.com

Posted on November 21, 2012 | 11 Comments

I’m very proud to announce my latest collaboration with Beirut-dot-com ASK IVY!

Each Wednesday I will have my very own advice column on Beirut.com where I will be answering all your questions on love, dating, relationships and any other dirty little thought in your head. No questions are off-limits and you don’t have to reveal your identity so feel free to throw any of your most intimate and even embarrassing topics my way at tell.ivy@gmail.com.

From Boyfriends, Condoms and Creepy Stalkers to Spicing Up Relationships Gone Stale, Bad Breakups and Super Clingy Boyfriends, take a minute to check out this week’s Ask Ivy Column  at Beirut.com

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut, Sly Yet Genius Dating Tips

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All The Reasons To “See” Pretty

Posted on October 19, 2012 | 3 Comments

Imagine overhearing the love of your life comparing you to another hotter chick. Now imagine him telling his friend that although he finds you cute and sweet, the hot chick has a prettier face than yours. Would you flip out, brush it off and move on or dwell and spiral into self-destruction?

When I heard that the critically acclaimed play Reasons To Be Pretty written by Neil Labute was being adapted to the Lebanese context I knew it could prevail over any cultural or translation differences and play out as though it had always been written with Beirut in mind. Better yet, when I found out award-winning director and actress Nadine Labaki was in it (whom I learned last night had never done theatre prior to this) I was determined to get myself on that guest list.

And I did. Reasons To Pretty, directed by Jacques Maroun opened (literally) with many bangs last night at Hamra’s Al-Madina Theatre. And although it has its fair share of drama, the story is in fact a comedy, one that uses humor to reexamine our very sad, limited and harsh perception of what we as a whole consider to be beauty, how we are so willing to judge one another simply by the way we look and how that alone can pull even the tightest of couples apart.

My friends have been trying to drag me to plays for years now but I’ve always resisted. I’ve just  been turned off by the idea of Lebanese overacting. But last night was nothing like that. It felt as though we were watching play in New York from the meticulous and elaborate sets, to the fast changing scenes and though the cast was an all-star one, they all left their egos behind. It was so perfectly adapted to Lebanese pop culture with all the spot-on clichés that it felt like a scene from Hitchcock’s Rear Window as we all peered into the intimate lives of two couples. And so hilarious that even as members of the audience we had to stop ourselves from cracking up as not to create too much distraction for the actors.

I’m not going to single out any actors, they were all incredible but I can’t help but form a new admiration for Talal El Jurdi, the man did an outstanding job embodying his character, to the point where I wanted to give him a big hug after the play and tell him it’s all going to be alright. And I almost did at the glamorous after-party held at Le Grey’s Bar Threesixty where everyone celebrated a job so wonderfully done.

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

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I Love Loafers

Posted on September 30, 2012 | 1 Comment

Haircalf Smoking Flats: Sam Edelman

Suede Tassel Flats: Charles Philip

Studded Loafers: Jeffrey Campbell

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Posted in Fashion-ME-Up, I Came, I Saw, I BOUGHT!, Mon Obsession du Jour

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From Dating To Marriage- What’s The Rush?

Posted on June 20, 2012 | 17 Comments

My friend Hani is a workaholic. He dates often but only at his own convenience. He’ll go out with the girl he’s seeing once during the week and once on the weekends. These are not frigid rules, but his work, interests and hobbies come first. He just started dating Dina, she’s 27, been single for just over a year now and she’s always up for a good time- at least that’s what she claimed when they met.

They met at a bar and hit it off right away. A few weeks later he introduced her to his friends and things seemed to be off to a good start. She made it a point to constantly remind him of how independent and successful she is and he loved it. It was so refreshing for him to finally find an easy-going girl.

But he was wrong- she finally dropped the bomb on him this weekend during dinner.

“I wanna know if you are serious about us” she announces right off the bat.

He was caught off-guard but was also genuinely disappointed. They’ve been together for 4 months. He understood exactly where the question would lead to and felt betrayed that he suddenly had to provide her with a relationship forecast. He explained to her that he simply wanted to have a good time with her, without necessarily “planning” for something to happen. If what they had would develop into something down the road, then great, but he wasn’t willing to make any commitments for the future so soon just to put her at ease.

She was appalled by his reply, her eyes swelled with tears as soon as the words left his mouth. “Then this is a waste of my time!” she confessed.

Hani did not see that one coming either. And mind you he doesn’t have commitment issues. All along, Dina seemed like the perfect laid-back girl. She kept differentiating herself from the crowd and that’s what kept him into her. Now, she was having a mini-tantrum about their future when it hit him, he didn’t even know her that well.

The point is Middle Eastern girls are constantly perceived as girls who are on the prowl for a husband. Of course, that’s just another generalization amongst a sea of many. But in some cases, it may be true, 4 months into a relationship is too soon for that sort of talk so why are we always in such a rush?

 

 

 

 

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A Pretty Pink Cake

Posted on May 17, 2012 | 2 Comments

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The Ambitious Woman: Success Story or Spinster?

Posted on March 30, 2012 | 6 Comments

You’ve always considered yourself on the right path. You’re well educated, have constantly maintained good social standing, paid your dues with a couple of entry-level jobs and now, you’ve finally gotten the promotion you deserve. You’re also sufficient enough to have your own place despite the obvious disapproval of your extended family. But there is an entire society out there that’s keen on constantly reminding you of that one thing that is noticeably lacking in your life- that one thing that would complete you- that one thing that without- you would fail.

That’s right, for years old wives tales have cautioned little girls about the horrors of spinsterhood, an extraterrestrial pandemic that could hit women as they approach a certain age, where god forbid they remain unmarried!  And the Middle East is not immune to this phenomenon; in fact we’ve collectively managed to take preventative measures by decreasing the “conventional” age for marriage from 30 to an astonishing 25 years!

Our misguided lies have also led us to occasionally repeat common myths like “you have to get babies before you’re 30, it’s healthier!” Carla Bruni who is 44 just had a baby by the way. Is it because she’s Italian/ French? Has she been artificially inseminated? PLEASE!

But get a load of this crap: apparently the more successful you become, the pickier you are with your men. Better yet, men are more interested in the good looking perky secretary-type girls; as successful women tend to intimidate them.  What’s worse, higher paid women scare men away, perhaps that’s why most employers in the Middle East reportedly pay women less than they do men.

I don’t buy any of it. Yes, of course there exists a breed of insecure men out there that can’t handle an equal, or imagine women as their viable competition; men like that are only able to lure women with money. But for the rest of the over-achieving successful single ladies out there that have been bombarded with this rubbish- don’t succumb to the pressure, the only reason you should ever consider marriage is for love. *sigh*

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

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