Tag Archives: dating advice

8 Things To Do Before Having a Baby

8 things to do before having a baby

On September 5th, the hubby and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Yes, although we welcomed our first child 3 weeks ago, we will still technically have been married for that long without procreating, something that is considered a fail or tragedy in Middle Eastern society. You bet we’ve been pressured, by all sorts of people, some close to us and others who’ve simply installed electrical appliances in our home.

We’ve been successful at dodging the question thus far although some wildly inappropriate remarks from mere acquaintances have been relentlessly persistent  throughout the years, mind you, I’m still not entirely sure what sort of added value a child of ours would bring into their lives. Nevertheless, we took our sweet, sweet time, we didn’t succumb, and now I can honestly say we are overjoyed and more than ready to embark on this journey with our baby Luca.

You see we didn’t marry with the traditional idea “starting a family.” We married because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I was adamant on going through a marriage bucket list that I had updated as we went along, desperate to make the most memories out of our marriage before we shared and dedicated a huge portion of our lives to our much loved little third wheeler.

So if you’ve tied the knot now or have been wed for some time, my advice to you is to get to spend as much time as possible with your other half before making babies. And here are 8 things to do

1. Travel together, anywhere and everywhere. I don’t just mean go on a honeymoon, I mean go on adventures, visit as many countries as you can, take long road trips and endless train rides, try different cuisines and drink lots of wine. It’s about getting to know each other in as many different settings as possible. Don’t just be husband and wife, be fun travel companions outside the norm making memories that will last a lifetime.

2. Make a home. I don’t just mean buy one and hire an interior decorator to fix it up. I mean make a home that looks and feels like the both of you, let it embody the character of your relationship. If your hubby wants his own smoking room or billiards table go for it and if you’ve always dreamt of designing a dressing room or having a home gym, do it, even if space is limited, don’t leave it empty because it may one day be for your child,

3. Go out, for dinners, drinks and hit up as many dance floors as you can until the wee of hours of the morning. Party together, get wasted together, go through hangovers together, experiment together. Become regulars at a spot together. Marriage doesn’t mean growing up it means growing old together. So if you still feeling like doing all the things you did while you were single, by all means do them together and do them a lot. Do them until you feel something is missing. Then have a baby.

4. Support each other to quit the jobs you hate and find the jobs or start the business you love, even if you have a mortgage to pay off. If you don’t do it now you’re very less likely to do it when you have children and tuitions. Watch your relationship become happier and stronger and the quality of  your lives improve once you’re finally in your element, waking up every day to something you love and the rest of the pieces will fall into place.

5. Make friends. I don’t mean with others I mean with each other. It’s one thing to be husband and wife and a total different thing to become best friends. Friends have fun together doing absolutely nothing without having to be constantly surrounded by other people all the time. Learn to truly enjoy each others company. Be partners in crime, attraction is great but spending a lifetime together requires true friendship and seasoned companionship.

6. Get a hobby together. Some couples like to hit the gym together and others prefer to ride on motorbikes , but whatever it is, make it your thing and make it sacred. My hubby and I love to throw champagne brunches for friends on our balcony during weekends and cook up storms in the kitchen in the evening with our favorite bottle(s) of wine and watch our favorite series for hours on end.

7. Splurge and live a little. Ok live a lot. Whether it’s a new car he loves or high-end spa sessions are you’re thing, make sure you spoil yourselves and enjoy the finer things in life. You will have plenty of time to play it safe, sacrifice (and save) once the kids come into the picture.

8. And finally, share a pet. Not only are those furry things entertaining but they’ll also give you a taste of responsibility to come. Pets need to be fed, walked, played with, nurtured and loved and sharing that form of dependability may help you consider whether or not you’re at a place in your lives where you’re ready to split your attention and efforts. It’s will also give you a glimpse of what type of parent your partner will make or not make.

Have I missed any? What’s on your married bucket list?

10 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married


1. You don’t trust each other, even when you’re together. This kind of relationship is toxic-trust me. You know he has a wandering eye but you’re hoping marriage will fix that, because then he’ll only be yours. Nice try… Why spend your life trying to catch him instead of just going with your gut?

2. You can’t agree on anything. You both thought it was cute when you couldn’t decide on which mini-appetizer roles to order, but it’s not that cute anymore when it involves life-altering decisions like whether you want to move to KSA or pull out a mortgage on a house.

3. You’re at that age where your parents would really like to see you married, so they’re putting on the pressure. And you want to make them happy and proud. So you keep ignoring the signs and just settle hoping it will all work out. You just gambled your life, good luck.

4. You’ve succumbed to life-altering decisions because you were over powered. And no I don’t mean you had a gun held to your head, you just couldn’t win the argument so you just gave in to your own unhappiness- for the next fifteen years!

5. You’ve spent so much time together already, sharing your life together doesn’t even sound that appealing anymore to you.  The spark is gone. That’s bad. No matter how long you’ve been together for, you should ALWAYS get excited at the idea of being together-and yes forever. So if that thought makes you queasy, think thrice. 6. You’ve spent so much time together, it’s only correct you do the right thing and tie the knot. Everyone is expecting you to, especially her parents. Otherwise, it will look like you just dated for fun and wasted her time. GASP

7. You already share an apartment, a car and the same friends what’s an official paper going to do right? Well, not if you’re not convinced he/she is your soul mate. Convenience will slowly evolve into burden and misery and only then you’ll realize what that paper really means.

8. You have totally different outlooks/lifestyles. While you want to save up for the yacht and cruise the Mediterranean, your partner wants to grow veggies on a farm and enjoy the simple life. While he wants to travel the world with his hot-shot consulting job you’re happy just having 3 children right way. You want different things from life – the sooner you come to terms with it, the less difficult you make it on each other.

9. You’re constantly trying to change each other. You think he can be more generous and he thinks you spend too much. It’s all fun and games when you’re just dating but unless you accept each other the way you are, your marriage will become a constant barrage. Throw some children in the mix and you can join the divorce statistics.

10. You want to get married your partner doesn’t. So you keep giving him/her the ultimatum until they give in. Is that really how you want to base your marriage, on blackmail? Think long and hard about it. Read More

How To Find Your Soul Mate

5 Reasons You’re Still Single; The Arab Men Edition

6 Reasons Why He Didn’t Call You Back

8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

How NOT To Lose A Guy In Two Dates

Dating and fishing are more similar than you think, to get them hooked you gotta have the right bait. The time between when you meet a guy and your first few dates can be critical. If some guys have been pulling a disappearing act on you then you need to follow the directions below.


1) No kissing on the first date, no matter how strong the sparks are even if it’s a good bye I had such a great time peck. As much as you want to believe you’re both on the same wavelength he will judge you and wonder if this is a frequent habit of yours.

no kiss


2) The same goes for the second date. No pecks, no monkey business, just one long lingering hug if you absolutely must.


3) No dates under short notice, even if you’re in your PJs watching Ashra Abeed Zghar gobbling away on a sandwich your teta made for you. Why? Because you are a busy lady and most of all unavailable, unless he gives you heads up at least one day in advance. At the least…

tv and popcorn


4) Don’t let him pay for everything. If he insists on treating you to a fancy dinner let him. But you get the drinks later. Men want to know that you’re not just a free rider that wants a man to “take care” of her. Show a little Beyoncé.



5) Don’t WhatsApp all day. Remember how only years ago he had to actually send a well-thought out SMS to make conversation with you and then wait patiently and unknowingly until you replied. Yeah well WhatsApp killed that. Again you are a busy unattainable lady who doesn’t have time to waste precious time in meaningless conversation all day. Stay mysterious and save the long chats for dinner.


6) Socialize with his friends. Like it or not he will be asking them for their opinions of you as soon as you head to the washroom so make sure they have good things to say about you



7) Do not I repeat do not post a photo with him on your Instagram or Facebook platforms. That can be interpreted as a public unilateral announcement of your dating status. Stay on your game, you do not want him to think he’s out of the woods just yet or that you don’t have any other potential suitors.

30 Thoughts Every Arab Couple Has Before Getting Married

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

5 Reasons You’re Still Single; The Arab Men Edition-Part I



This Week On Ask Ivy’s Advice Column

Dear Ivy,

Call me old-fashioned, but I want to stay a virgin until I’m married. Now that I’m getting older, I feel like this might get in the way of dating. What if I’m interested in someone and he doesn’t want to wait? Or should I just not be interested in him to begin with?

-Not That Prude

To read my advice  you can visit my weekly column at  Beirut.com by clicking here

Got relationship issues, shoot me your questions at tell.ivy@gmail.com

ask ivy