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1) Don’t turn into a vulgar baboon ( wazwaz-style) with your bros when we’re around. We get that that’s how you bond, but we ‘d much rather you kept it classy.

2) Even if you don’t like hearing about the girl that copied our outfit or how our friend is being two-faced, pretend like you do. We are venting! Be supportive, nod, interact and give advice, don’t doz off into open space, we know when you’re not listening!

3) If your best friend who happens to be a girl – is being a cow with us, do something about it.  It’s not part of our plans to take over your life or whip you, she just really crossed the line and you need to let her know it’s not cool.

4) Don’t get jealous and especially possessive, we’re not 6 and you’re not our fathers, we date you. not report to you.

5) Don’t compare us to your Ex-girlfriends.  As of now, we are the sexiest ones in your life.

6) No, we are not out to get married- but the option should be there.  The last thing we want, is to spend 3 years with you only to find out on the fourth that you’re not ready to commit- you can’t have it all. If you don’t see us in your future, you’re probably not gonna get to see us right now either.

7) Don’t cheat, it just makes you a liar and a coward. Save your excuses, you’re either a man or you’re not.

We want many many things, these are just the basics. Thoughts? Bisoux

1) A smart yet very sexy women- men are picky, they wanna be able to have a challenging conversation with a girl yet they want her to resemble somewhat of a cover-girl. She also needs to be fun and exciting – always up for having a good time.

2) An open-minded yet conservative girl- she needs to be able to sleep- out on the getaway weekends to Faraya- yet they prefer her to be from a family that actually calls to ask her where she is . ( Bint 3ayleh ya3ni)

3)She needs to be confident enough to not complain about her body, yet cool enough to share a good hearty meal with him, ya3ni if he feels like having Barbar after the Sahra- she better not complain about her weight.

4)Respect, respect, respect- men hate it when we go off on them- this  is the biggest threat to their masculinity, no matter how bad they eff-up , they don’t expect you to scold them for it. (Yes, we share diff ideas of respect- they think it’s us not shouting at them- we think it’s them not making us look bad by checking out our competition.)

5) Boy time. Alone. Men need their space, even if it’s sitting home playing pS3 with their best buds,  when they feel  this no longer becomes an option for them- they’ll be looking for away OUT.

The list goes on – but I’d prefer to hear from others too! Bisoux

www.lastkisscomics.com

Kate Moss and Johnny Depp

Audrey Hepburn

Monroe and JFK

Marilyn Monroe

What a collection! You can check out the rest of the pics here. Bisoux

Did you notice how we Lebanese people love to talk in the cinema DURING the movie? Be it on our cell phones or to each other. We just don’t understand the concept of being silent. And God Forbid we get asked to be quiet, we’ll start yelling .

I don’t blame the kids, because, well, their kids. I blame the adults. There is no such thing as switching cell phones on silent mode, and the worst part is  we actually pick up all the calls. I once watched a grown man physically threaten a cinema employee who asked him to get off the phone. I once sat next to two 16 year old girls who were obviously not interested in the movie and so decided why not use this occasion to catch up on high school gossip. When my girlfriend asked them (nicely) to stop talking… they got so rude, swore at my friend and spoke even louder.

I once even watched an expat go ape-shit trying  to get everyone to stop talking until he finally left and demanded a refund. He didn’t get his refund. Because our systems don’t know how to process a refund as a result of bad service in a movie.  And so I haven’t watched Alice In Wonderland yet, I movie I have been dying to see, because I just can’t stand the noise!!! Bisoux

Image: Ellen von Unwerth

seriously?

WTF???

Kharoof ou na3na3???

alcoholic chips?

What an interesting collection of strangely flavored chips. Those were a couple of my favorites, you can check out the rest here. Bisoux

I had a long week and we were overdue for a Happy Hour. We hit up Time Out in Monot, that little charming old villa that feels like you just walked into your Grandma’s living room. Nothing like sitting on a really comfy couch while getting served some drinks. They have these delicious appetizers called Poulet Pané with this plum sauce dip. Bisoux

Ella sunglasses

Louis Vuitton debuts their new summer  Ella Shades,  with a aluminum frame that you can get in both green or pink. For $600 they can be yours this summer.  I really wanna try them and see if they work on me or  if I’d end up looking quite silly. Bisoux

This must be one of the most uncreative ads in the history of Lebanese TV, not to mention the disturbing message it sends out to Lebanese Women. It says :    Le Bijou est aussi un droit reclamé-lé- meaning Jewelery is also a right, DEMAND IT!!!

Last time I checked,  a man would buy a woman jewels, as a gift, because he liked her and because he wanted to, not because it’s a right. For those of you that know even a little about how unequal rights are for women in this country  would know why this ad is degrading to all women.

Insinuating, that because women are wives, they too have rights and they deserve to be rewarded with jewels is just terrible.  So what happens next , we’re  supposed to walk over to the men in our lives and demand they give us our rights- jewelery!!  How undermining and offensive!!

I make that assumption because it shows a miserable middle-aged women sitting on a chair in what seems to be a study, contemplating, or going over  her rights.

Two Words for Joallierie Moukarzel : Major Fail

Bisoux

My heart goes out to every family who may have a loved one involved in the dreadful crash that happened this morning, 4 minutes after Ethiopian Airlines  Flight 409 bound to Addis Ababa plunged into the Mediterranean Sea.   The mood in Beirut is a  gloomy one but hopes of finding survivors are not abandoned.  I already know two people who know someone that was on that flight and are waiting to hear news on the fate of the passengers.  Stay Strong Lebanon.