Category Archives: Tabloid Trash

Miss Mermaid Jounieh

Posted on July 25, 2011 | 4 Comments

NO,  I’m really not making this up, but this confirms Lebanon’s incomprehensible love affair with beauty pageants. I was flipping through some channels last night when I happened to come across a pageant competition for the title of ” Jounieh’s Mermaid” or“Houriyet Jounieh”

I will refrain from making snarly comments, I think the pictures speak for themselves. All I wanna know is why? Why?? And who? And what? And seriously? SERIOUSLY?!!

p.s. of course I didn’t stick around to know who won, the first fifteen minutes were painful enough..

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Separated At Birth

Posted on July 20, 2011 | 5 Comments

Yup, these two are definitely sisters from another mister.

If  Mona Abu Hamzeh who hosts a talk show on MTV Lebanon called Talk of the Town (Hadis el Balad)  had a twin sister then it would be actress Cobie Smulders most known for her role as Rob Scherbatsky on How I Met Your Mother.

Freaky Freaky, but not half as scary as this eery resemblance between Lebanese icon Fairuz and international pop star…

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TFEH of the Day

Posted on July 15, 2011 | 5 Comments

If you’re a woman looking at this you’re prolly really pissed right now. If you’re a man with some good judgement,  you should be too.  If milk could talk, it would retract this Ad.

This disgrace of an Ad @stephanienour  tweeted this morning calls for the re-invigoration of the Open Letter To Men I wrote back in December.

 My Dearest Men…

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The Miss Lebanon 2011 Competition- What A Joke!

Posted on July 11, 2011 | 20 Comments

Did anyone go through the painful ordeal of watching the disaster that  was Miss Lebanon 2011 yesterday? I’ve never cringed more in my life while watching the pageants answer the judges’ questions,trip on stage and attempt to dance or preform. No really, it was out of this world! I had to cover my face with my hands for half the time, I was sooo embarrassed for them and I don’t even know them.  And the judges?  Almost every single lady judge except for the amazing designer Reem Acra had overdosed on Botox and facelifts before the show, how can such women possibly be chosen to select the fresh face of Lebanese beauty when they clearly don’t realize the abuse they’ve inflicted on their own faces and how fake they come off to regular folks!?

Every year the contestants in Miss Lebanon get less and less, I’m not gonna say pretty, let’s just say less up to Miss Lebanon or beauty pageant material. We’ve all heard the same thing, many beautiful  girls that would qualify come from ” good” families who would not allow them to enter  a pageant. I don’t know if that’s true or false, all I know is that if the folks over at this Miss Lebanon Committee can’t find some decent looking girls to throw a pageant, then they should seriously reconsider throwing it in the first place. Now I get that the new Miss Lebanon 2011 has a huge following, many friends and fans, perhaps  my standards of beauty are all messed up but I don’t think the new Miss Lebanon Yara Khoury deserves that title, both physically or intellectually. Don’t get me wrong, I am by no means insinuating she is ugly, she is a pretty girl , but by no means or under no beauty standard does this young lady qualify to represent Lebanon locally or better yet at ANY international beauty pageant. Why don’t I let you guys be the judge?… Bisoux

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Posted in Rumor Has It..., Tabloid Trash

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What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Posted on July 4, 2011 | 6 Comments

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Lonely In Beirut? Not Anymore…

Posted on June 28, 2011 | 21 Comments

One of my readers sent me a link to get this- a site called Lebanon Escorts; Your Life, Your Escorts. Now before you get too excited the site is quick to remind visitors that it is “only an escort girls guide listing independent female Lebanese escorts providing services in Beirut and all of Lebanon”  NOT  an actual escort agency.  Here are a few more highlights of their About US section:

We do not currently have listings of Syrian girls, Moroccan escorts nor European female companions.

We repeat that our Lebanese female escorts are only available for outcall services catering to Beirut hotels only.

 We’re no in call escort agency and our escort girls don’t provide any in call escort services in Beirut.

 We’re an escort directory providing listings of escorts in Beirut, Lebanon. For Serious Gentlemen only please.

Innneresting…

What caught my eye is  a listing they have for an escort agency supposedly in Lebanon called- Straight Off The Bat,  here is how these folks like to advertise themselves

“Our escorts are not Super Models or “Ex-Models” They’re  your beautiful girl next door Lebanese girls.

Our girls are all natural.  Natural meaning “No plastic surgery, Like some Lebanese models or ex-models”.

Alright, now, I don’t know where you guys may live, but the girl next door to me most definitely does NOT look like that girl in the picture! And even if you lived next door to a brothel, I’ve seen some “artists” in Maameltein, and trust me they look nothing like that blonde chick they have on the site.

The most entertaining part of it all is the profiles of the escorts they have listed.

Meet Sami, he is not a hairy Lebanese guy and he wants to prove it to you.  He has “handsome weak body” whatever that means. He charges $750 an hour. Damn he must be good.

Meet Carla, she has “Weak body, Medium tits, Bombe.” I have no idea what that means either. Carla can escort you for $350 an hour, that’s $400 less than Sami. Damn that Sami must be REALLY good.

Here’s the thing, I’m a firm believer in freedom for all to do as they please, as long as they’re not harming or violating anyone’s rights, but the last time I checked Lady GaGa’s album was banned in Lebanon, so was Anne Frank’s diary, French artist Patrick Bruel was not welcome and the comedian Gad El-Malek was practically shunned. All those artists and the ideas they pass off may corrupt our minds with bad bad ideas, yet Mira and Sami  will help revive our economy? Bisoux

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Look What We Have Succumbed To…

Posted on June 27, 2011 | 8 Comments

Ahh the times are tough aren’t they?  And Romance? Who needs romance when you can finally get that 150 m2 apartment your impending wedding has been on hold for? And so what if you can’t afford to furnish it or heat it up during winter.  Or what about that 700 invite Habtoor  royal wedding  you  just couldn’t imagine affording?  Thanks to this wedding package, the preposterous real estate prices in Lebanon are no longer the enemy so instead of moving in with their mothers’-in-law and kissing all prospects of a drama-free new beginning away,  couples can now sell their souls and the souls of their future kids the devil. Yup, think 30 years of mortgage payments, unstable, ever-changing interest rates and did I forget, your life‘s worth of savings in a down payment just so you can say “I do” in style. So do you really wanna kiss that banker? Bisoux

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Best Father’s Day Ads

Posted on June 21, 2011 | 2 Comments

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Even Hitler Needs A Wasta At Sky Bar

Posted on June 17, 2011 | 1 Comment

So it’s all about the rooftops this summer..Iris, Capitole and of course the regionally renowned SKYBAR!  Apparently it has gotten itself a new look and people are willing to pay over $500 minimum charge just to see and be seen at the season opening.  This video below is a Must-SEE, too funny and so very true.  It’s  very smartly produced  by a guy called Samer Hamadeh, and he really hit it right on the head. I’ve personally seen some friends pull the same tantrum when a table at Sky Bar was nearly impossible. It’s a must see and a total diss to  the former White btw… Bisoux

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Fairuz and Lady GaGa: Separated At Birth!

Posted on June 15, 2011 | 11 Comments

I dunno about you guys but I’m honestly freaked out about how much Lebanon’s reigning Queen of Song Fairuz and the International Queen of Pop Lady GaGa look alike! I was watching Fairuz speak on an interview on MTV last night when I had to do a double take, for a second I could have sworn it was  Lady Gaga.  They may be generations apart, but did it ever occur to you that maybe Fairuz gave birth to Lady GaGa and gave her up for adoption when she realized her daughter will grow up to become the world’s most celebrated freak show? Click on the pic below to enlarge: I  bet you can’t tell which one’s which now can you? … Bisoux

Hint: The images to the left are of Fairuz!

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