Category Archives: Sly Yet Genius Dating Tips

What The Drink You Order Says About You- The Lebanese Version- Round 2

Local Wine:

2 reasons.  After long years of abuse, your hard liquor days are over and you now have managed to regularly order a drink that you can sip at a constant pace, without getting drunk and silly. Best ordered for a drink out with colleagues.  You’ve even come to enjoy its tipsy effect only because you’re usually asleep before you can do anything silly.

Or, you spent all your money on hard liquor and local wine is the cheapest and fastest way you can get drunk without burning a hole in your pocket.

Beer:

You’re either broke or super-hungover.  If you allow yourself 6 or more, there’s a high probability you’ll be switching to hard liquor very soon.  Which defeats the entire purpose of why you had beer in the first place. If you’re a girl and you’re ordering it “Mexcian” style  you actually can’t stand beer but it looks good at the beach so whatever….

Vodka 7 Up

It took you years to evolve into this drink. You first did the whole screwdriver thing. Then you joined the vodka Redbull wagon, but after numerous drunken episodes, losing a bunch of friends, switching from Medicine to Business,  and wrecking daddy’s car along the way you finally realized it wasn’t the best mix.  You didn’t wanna give up the Vodka all together, but needed a good companion. Then you saw an older friend drink it with a Seven-Up and it’s been love ever since. When you’re feeling sophisticated you order it with a slice of lemon.

Rum and Coke:

You first ordered rum cause you wanted to stand out and frankly you liked the way it sounds. Then when you hit your twenties you outgrew it. But if you’re still drinking it, you do it cause you consider yourself a bit of a lefty, you like to hang out at hippy-ish pubs in Hamra where foreigners hang out in packs and girls don’t brush their hair or because you’re still friends with those who didn’t outgrow rum.

Mojito

You enjoy torturing bartenders. You wanna see him chop those mints, manually mix-in that brown sugar all the whilst making the final product look good.  Yet, you still ask the waiter why the  drink you ordered is taking so long. Cause you’re annoying that’s why! Bisoux

If you missed What The Drink You Order Says About You Round One Click here

Here Is How YOU Got Whipped By Your Better Half

How many couples do you know in relationships that are equally in control? Not many eh?  Frequently there is that one person that has a firm-er grip on the other. That one person that shoots that deadly withering look, signaling him/her to stop doing whatever it is they are doing. That one person who calls most of the shots.   If my friend you find yourself on the receiving end of those looks, you are what we call: whipped.

So how did you get whipped?

Is it love? I love you so much therefore I will just say yes to please you, even if it means allowing you to dress me up in those ridiculously tight pants and a red bow-tie to suit your red dress- I’ll do anything for love.

Or

Power, some personalities are more dominant than others, it’s the pecking order. Everywhere you look, you have leaders and you have followers and couples in a relationship naturally fall into these categories.

Or

Fighting is just not worth it anymore. You love him/ her but you just can’t take the drama that comes with trying to plan a girls/boys night out. And slowly you start losing yourself, losing your voice and not to mention- your friends.

Because whether they choose to admit it to themselves or not somewhere behind every couple, there exists a bitter friend(s) who yearn to walk right you them and shake them out of this hypnosis.

Or

Some of us just like to meet that one person that is able to control us.  Maybe because a) we are control freaks that get turned on from getting controlled, or b) we are so weak and insecure , we are happy to shy away from decisions and would much rather get whipped than grow a pair.

I’m a bit of a control freak myself, but the guy I’ve been seeing  has somehow managed to get me to sit back while he sails this ship. Will this last for long- I hope so, it’s a total turn-on. Thoughts? Bisoux

Everybody Likes It Hard

The best part of a relationship is right at the start.  Yes, yes, yes love grows with time blah blah blah, but you can’t deny what a thrill it is to actually start dating someone you really like. Someone who you know likes you but keeps you guessing.  He’s got you right where he wants you – on your toes!

But the decisions you make during this time are also going to be the factors that make or break it.  Yes, you connected, sure it feels like you’ve known each other forever, but that is surely not a reason for you to spend all weekend cooped up in his house. A girl’s independence is one of the most alluring factors for men; you can’t just drop it at the first sign of love. We all love us some game and you gotta keep playing. There is no finish line.

And that’s  what I fear the most in a relationship, comfort. We all seek it, but it can be the number one destructive ingredient in a relationship. Couples do this mistake a lot, one minute they are dating, clubbing, pubbing and the next, they are home on a Saturday night ordering pizza and watching a movie. Ideally, that sounds like a nice plan, but not when it becomes the rule rather than the exception. Because when you get to the pizza too soon, you’re more likely to kiss your man goodbye even sooner.

So I’m not suggesting you get to work or class hungover every day to keep your relationship alive, all I’m saying is try not to get too comfortable too fast . We like to feel wanted but we also love the chase. Don’t you agree? Bisoux

The Real Reason You Should Go On A Date

Why do people date?  Some believe it’s  because every one of us is on a quest for Mr./Mrs. Right.  I don’t necessarily agree.  The “right” person could be there, you may just not be ready for them.  Take this example: Lets say you had $ 50,000 to buy a car. You can either choose to go for the classy yet reserved kinda car lets say, a Volvo, or get yourself a sexy red convertible.  You chose the convertible because although you know the Volvo is a safe bet, the convertible is risky and it provides you with the element of fun.

Dating is fun. It’s fun to feel the excitement before stepping into the shower, it’s fun to pick the outfit, it’s fun to wine and dine with someone new ( and cute), it’s fun to feel the butterflies in your stomach when your hands touch and it’s fun to hear yourself talk about yourself to someone new.

Dating stops being fun when a) you’re on a  mission to find Mr. Right and b) when your hunting for sex.

Then it starts feeling too forced, people sense the urgency in your voice and smell the desperation in your actions.

Of course many of us date to find that special someone, all I’m saying is that shouldn’t be what drives us. I’m a firm believer in this cliche notion of love happening when you least expect it to.

I think I’m in Love.

Bisoux

 

 

7 Ways (Lebanese) Men Turn Us OFF

Here’s a nice way to start your week. Wondering why that chick you took out last month hasn’t called you back? Maybe you pulled  one of these…

1) Cheap tippers- don’t you just hate it when a guy doesn’t tip generously. I don’t care how much he spent- if he’s only leaving 4,000LL on a 100,000LL bill- it will leave a sour taste in my mouth.

2) Terrorizing drivers- with his sports car- regardless of his  horsepower, if  he’s gonna terrorize every other driver in close proximity and make unnecessary turns just to hear his engine squeal and his tires screech, I’m not impressed and most probably will dig my nails into his leather seats.

3) Unbuttoned shirts- some Lebanese men insist on unbuttoning their shirts all the way down to their belly buttons.  They also like to piss you off further by throwing in a gold necklace.I almost feel like they purposely curl chest hair in an attempt to stick them out of it. It’s horrendous -tuck it in and button it up.

 

Khalas!

 

4) Bad teeth- if you’re a smoker than most probably your teeth need whitening.  You can be the hottest piece of %%% in town and still have turn-off teeth.  Don’t think they go unnoticed.

5) Men need pedicures too- need I say more?

6) High-waist  pants – I don’t care how many women are wearing them- men should steer clear of pants that are anywhere close to their waists. The humpty-dumpty look will never be IN!

6.5) Over Dosing at the gym- yes there is such thing as being OVER-MUSCLY. Here’s a hint:  if you can’t walk anymore without your arms floating up  in the air from side to side,  You ‘ve had enough.

7) Bald and in-Denial- if your going bald, and most likely you are, enough with the gel and sorry attempts at growing your hair extra-long in an effort to distract us from that obvious bald patch; we can see it, it’s right on your head- so embrace it, set that shaver on zero and get with the program.

Men : you can thank me later.  Ladies: am I missing a few? Bisoux

Lebanese Women Need A Dress Code ASAP

Yes We Do!!  Or maybe some image training. Because hek, people just don’t know how to dress for the occasion. Let’s talk about work-appropriate clothes, because at the end of the day YOU  represent the company you work for.

Before I get into that I want you to think about this: why is it that everywhere I look,  most women in Lebanon feel like dressing up is not complete without the excessive show of skin? Why have we not learned to embrace fashion in all forms even if it means covering up ? Why do we still insist on hanging on to lace, latex  and pleather in all the wrong ways?

I get that ( with all due respect) some minimum-wage employees may not know any better than to pull out those leaving-nothing-to-the- imagination mini’s  to work. Although to be fair,  I’ve seen some pharmacists that look like they’re about to guest-star in a soft-porn movie with their cleavage and acrylic nails. But nowadays, you walk into the office of  reputable organization ready to meet the professional director only to encounter a lady wearing the skimpiest tightest pants that detail  her every single curve ( and cellulite), the steepest heels that look like she stole them from a strip-club , enough make-up to paint an army of beauty pageants, not to mention her botox-mutilated lips. And guess what?! She’s the CEO, so your expected to have a professional deal-breaking conversation with this woman while all you really wanna do is hold her hand and ask her why she would do this to herself?

Even at conferences, women here just refuse to put on a decent suit. If it is a suit it will have to be a Cavalli animal print with all the bling in her jewelry box. So I get it, we like to get a little risqué , but why is it so difficult for us to dress decently for work? Bisoux

DO!


DON'T!!!

IVY’s Favorite PickUp Lines

The goal is to make him or her feel good, so good in fact that they’ll want to talk to you some more.  If you get him or her to laugh… SCORE!!!

Yes… I know, some may come off as super-cheesy or at times mean, but you gotta know your audience people… You get my drift ;)

1.Nice to meet you, I’m Ivy and you are… gorgeous.

2. Looking this good is illegal in Beirut, bas if you go out with me, I’ll let you off with a warning.

3. Apart from being so sexy, what is it that you do for a living?

4. Your father must have been a farmer, cause you’ve grown some nice melons (or lemons… depending on the girl)  ( use with caution)

5. You’re so hot, I think your the reason behind global warming.

6.I’m sorry to tell you this but your going to hell, looking that good is a sin.

7. If your going to regret this in the morning, then we can just sleep past noon.

8. I may not be the best looking girl here,but you can’t really afford to be that picky. (use with caution)

9. It’s your lucky day, I’m on the rebound and I just lowered my standards.

10. Do you have a name, or can I just call you mine?

11.Damn boy, and I thought I was good looking

12. I was gonna come talk to you earlier, but I didn’t want your friends to fight over me.

Disclaimer: Ivy shall not be held responsible for any slaps, drink spillage or brawls that may occur following any of the above  pick-up lines. Flirt at your own risk. Bisoux

Sly Yet Genuis Dating Tips

I read somewhere that dating is all about competition, and how naturally we’re inclined to want something that is unattainable which led me to my latest dating tip.

  1. Send yourself some flowers with a fake card that says something like ” your always on my mind.” Make sure you leave him in a room alone with the flowers so that he can catch a glimpse of them. This way he knows how lucky he is to be with you.  If he asks who they’re from just say  ” oh some guy I met during a work meeting.” This will keep him on his toes!  Bisoux  

    You'll keep him guessing!

    Warning: The above tip only works at the very first stage, or else he could accuse you of cheating.

Ridiculous Dating Tips From The 30′s

This is no joke.These are the types of tips women actually got back in the day! Can you imagine applying them nowadays. You here that Ladies don't tug on your girdle and iron your stockings!

Affection means humiiliation!?

No dancing and talking at the same time. Ou3a!

LOL!!!

To check out the rest of this ridiculousness click here. Bisoux

Now Let’s Talk About Sexism

I Can’t believe these ads existed . Here’s the site. So ridiculous. Bisoux

Ma3oul???

3ayb!

Tfeh!!

Yeh!!