Category Archives: Sly Yet Genius Dating Tips

Ask Ivy: The Hottest Weekly Advice Column on Beirut.com

I’m very proud to announce my latest collaboration with Beirut-dot-com ASK IVY!

Each Wednesday I will have my very own advice column on Beirut.com where I will be answering all your questions on love, dating, relationships and any other dirty little thought in your head. No questions are off-limits and you don’t have to reveal your identity so feel free to throw any of your most intimate and even embarrassing topics my way at tell.ivy@gmail.com.

From Boyfriends, Condoms and Creepy Stalkers to Spicing Up Relationships Gone Stale, Bad Breakups and Super Clingy Boyfriends, take a minute to check out this week’s Ask Ivy Column  at Beirut.com

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5 Reasons You’re Still Single; The Arab Men Edition-Part I

1) Just because a girl sat next to you in a café or bar it doesn’t mean she is trying to grab your attention, look around you, perhaps all the rest of the tables are taken. Let her have her coffee in peace.

2) Don’t get brave just cause you’re with your buddies. Girls do not like to get hit on by a table full of buffoons and you probably don’t want to date the ones who do. Hitting on a girl in groups is called harassment. That makes you an offender.

3) Don’t force eye contact on a girl; if she’s trying to avoid your gaze, she’s not playing hard to get she’s just not interested. Plain and simple. The number of times your eyes meet will not increase your chances of getting her number. You just come off as a stalker.

4) A girl notices right away when your gaze shifts south of her neck. And no matter how many times you try to redeem yourself, know that you’ve been exposed. So fight the urge, look at her face when you’re addressing her.

5) So she’s wearing a mini-skirt. That doesn’t make her a hoe. She probably just has great legs. Practice good judgement. Don’t twist your neck attempting to follow her every foot step just to take it all in before she’s out of sight. You exude perverseness and desperation, especially if you’re with another girl.

Also check out

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The Girl Your Mother Won’t Let You Marry

We’ve all had that one girlfriend that just can’t live without a man in her life at all times. The girl that dives head first into a relationship every fifteen minutes. Every guy is a rebound of a rebound.

She likes to come off as thick-skinned and nonchalant to everyone around her, but in reality she’s a needy little girl who’s terrified of being alone with herself. Her excessive emotional need and constant urge to feed her oversized ego have blinded her with the determination to acquire testosterone she can call her own.

So she puts on her mask every morning and throws herself at the first guy who’ll buy her act. She’ll make him do EVERYTHING with her as though he were some sort of fashion accessory. Her entire life will revolve around this one guy; she’ll even manage his Facebook profile and reply to comments on his behalf. Her severe jealousy will force him to ostracize all his female friends. She’ll limit his weekly soccer games with the guys and suddenly he’ll find himself joining her girls on their nights out. And if the poor man ever managed to get away to tend to a pressing family affair, she’ll hammer him with phone calls until his entire family start rolling their eyes.

At this point one of two things will occur:

1) She would have dominated him to the extent where he surrenders his soul to her and before he knows it he’s choosing between petunias and orchids for the wedding he somehow managed to find himself hypnotized into.

2) Her smell of desperation and crazy obsession with control begins to seep through the cracks and the lucky man will make a run for it.

So to all you poor hardworking unsuspecting fellows out there going out for a good time tonight, let’s hope you don’t fall for that forward approach and forthcoming smile, she’s hungry and has been sharpening her fangs for awhile. Bisoux

Enjoyed this post? Then check out 5 Lebanese Ways To Turn Off A Man 

and

Men Love Bitches- The Case Study

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

1)      Complaining about your overtly jealous woman then throwing tantrums when she merely glances at other men in the room. You are not the Sultan and whatever applies to her applies to you as well. Enough with this chauvinistic melodrama.

 2)       Flaunting your finances when wooing a woman, wining and dining her at the priciest spots in town, ordering the ridiculous magnum champagne bottles and showering her with expensive gifts only to later complain that she’s only with you for your money. You set yourself up for this one honey.

 3)      Her style is what got you noticing her in the first place, but suddenly you’re not feeling those mini dresses and shorts anymore. You’re on a conservative trip and you expect her to cover-up. Stop those outfit sanctions; you’re not being protective, you’re being a hypocrite.

 4)      You want a good girl from a “good family” yet you expect her to join you on those weekend getaways even if she has to lie to her parents about her whereabouts. If her parents don’t fall for it, you’ll go solo anyways. Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

5)      Her BFF just had a rough break up and she’s hitting the town, hard. Suddenly the girl who used to help you resolve a fight with your lady is now being sidelined as a “bad influence.”  If you expect your girl to drop her friend just like that then get ready to do the same for her.

 6)      She was honest to you about her past relationships from the start, yet the closer you get, the more annoyed, jealous and paranoid  you start to become with her history.  This is not an “honour” issue; your own insecurities are getting the best of you.

PDA-The Lebanese Way

Seriously, tell us how you really feel. Just when I thought I had a romantic Valentine Abdo here had to show up and upstage everyone.

In Lebanon- Sex Sells Chicken

I’ve never before been to “al Saniour” located in Antelias but I’ve heard many stories about how that restaurant is THE pick-up spot for many ready-to-mingle people in Lebanon, both men and women.

The strategy? Bluetooth. Just switch on your Bluetooth and before you know it you’ll get flooded with messages, pics or in some cases, cheesy songs. Of course I did not believe that for one second until I stepped in to the immensely condensed place yesterday (a friend of mine was in town and she just loves that place) and not-to-my-surprise almost every single lady and man had attached themselves to two very peculiar objects, their cells, that were placed right in front of their faces, and their arghilehs ( hubbly bubblies)  that went into their mouths. As customers walked in those  people would put down their cells,  bluntly assess what they see and begin typing vigorously on their smart phones. It was though a network was put in place and we were mere contestants amongst a panel of judges who would soon provide us with their verdict.  Only after twenty minutes of being seated did the crowd-with-a-staring-problem finally get used to our presence and accept us as part of the herd. i.e. they stopped staring us down so hard.

No,we did not turn on our Bluetooth, we were way too busy AWE-ing over the menu that did not seem to hold back on the sexual innuendos.  If you thought strawberries and whipped cream are sexy you obviously  haven’t been exposed to some taouk and garlic. Take a look…

And in case you were in the mood for something light, how about..

5 Lebanese Ways To Turn Off A Man

1)      Nagging- we’re such a culture of naggers, it’s that whiny high pitched voice we like to put on when things don’t go our way, here’s a news flash, men don’t like it, AT ALL. So what if they didn’t have that top in your size at Zara or if your best friend is going out to lunch with your frenemy, guys just don’t care, if you insist on bitching, call your girlfriends.

2) Make Up Overload – Easy on the Paint, we tend to layer things up around here, the tranny look is quite popular.  Looking well-kept is great but looking like a street walker in the middle of the day just frightens men away, unless truck drivers are your thing. Easy on the foundation, pick the right color for your skin, lose the fake lashes and burn the damn lip-liner. Make-up should cover your faults not create new ones.

3) Desperada All your friends are  getting married and you don’t even have a boyfriend. So What?! You haven’t found the right one for you yet, no reason to start looking desperate. Men sense desperation like sharks smell blood, the only difference is, men will run in the opposite direction. Just relax, don’t rush things. If you wanna let him know you’re the serious kind from the get-go, just don’t put-out so fast, he’ll get it.

4) We’re mean.  Yup, we enjoy being mean, to each other, to unsuspecting waiters, to innocent pedestrians and mostly to our men. Men are not driven by emotions and fortunately for them, their hormones are for the most part, stable, so stop using the silliest excuse to pounce on the poor guy whenever you’re having a mood swing. Angry women are very unattractive to men, if you’re having a bad day; do not use him as your punching bag.

5)      Entitlement- Here’s a common misconception, if he’s a gentleman he’ll pay for everything. Some of the richest guys out there are total douche bags who think they can buy anything and anyone with their plastic cards. Unless you’re for sale, don’t let him pay for everything, respect is priceless.

Want more? What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

No Such Thing As A Free Drink Ladies

We tested out this theory Friday night. My girls and I went out for some drinks in Hamra.

 10:15 PM We enter the first spot and head straight to the bar. As soon as we ordered some drinks the bartender gave us a round of free shots.  Jagermeister. The man clearly wanted to get us drunk. We hesitantly drank them, thanked him and tried to continue our discussion. He stuck around. At times, even interrupted our conversations to contribute to the topic. It was annoying.

10:47 PM We start giving him some serious attitude and so he brings in the next round of shots. This time: tequila.  We knew were this was going so we had the shots thanked him and asked for the bill.
He wanted a number, any number, all our numbers, whatever he could get. We apologized and told him we all have boyfriends.

11:03 PM We finally get the bill and it included ALL the shots. My friend wanted to go off on the sleazeball for charging us for shots he offered, I convinced her out of it. We don’t need his freebies.

11:17 PM  We move onto another bar. Suddenly the waitress shows up with three glass of Moet, from the two gentlemen in the corner. So here’s the dilemma, we don’t accept them, and we look like uptight stuck-up girls who don’t know how to have some fun, but if we do accept the drinks we risk having to reject the men in person.  So we hesitate for a minute, but it’s champagne!

11:35 PM The men are hovering like sharks that’ve spotted their prey, until they finally decide to approach us. One of them says something cheesy calling us “very beautiful women.”

“Thanks for the champagne, but if you don’t mind we are having a girls night” my friend says to them.  We may as well have just shown the guys some skin, because we seem to have turned them on somehow.  They were both smiling and still hanging out at our table, at some point one guy even placed his drink on our table.

11:43 PM We ask them to leave again, they just smile.  So I looked at them both and said” listen guys, thanks for the drinks but we are not interested.”  They got even more excited at this point.

11:50 PM We exit the bar

Oldest dating lesson in the book: Accepting a drink is a verbal contract with a stranger. Indeed he wants something in return: YOU

Dating In Beirut- IVY’s DO’s and DON’Ts

In case you missed them here are some of my dating tips that the lovely Claire shared on Light FM’s (90.5)   Friday afternoon drive.  If you haven’t tuned in, you must, for some of  hottest dating and fashion tips in Beirut, while listening to some stress-free fabulous music.

At This point, you probably consider yourself a Pro in the dating scene in Beirut, but everyone knows that even the best of players need to sharpen those skills every now and then.

Long term relationships are comfy, but dating in Beirut can get very exciting.  Yes there are 6 girls to every guy, but it’s a good reason for ladies to ditch conformity and make a lasting impression.

1)      Ladies, You don’t need to dress in some super- skimpy outfit to get his attention, I’m not suggesting you get covered–up either , instead just be yourself,  show some skin in a sultry yet classy way. You wanna grab his attention not every sleaze ball’s in the room.

2)      The alpha male may not always be the right guy for you. Yes, he has the broadest shoulders you’ve seen on man, but that doesn’t mean he’ll give you one to cry on…  He’s the loudest in the place and has the most friends but his machoness may make him a less likely candidate for a committed relationship. The other cute guy may seem shorter but he’s probably funnier and more down-to earth, qualities you should be looking for in a boyfriend.

3)      Letting him buy you one drink is fine, but don’t let him pay for everything.  Some of us girls in Lebanon, think that a guy that picks up the bill  is a gentleman, but that may not always be the case.  You’re independent, and you should not only buy your own drinks but invite him to some as well, men love independent strong women, so be one!

4)      Kissing on the first date. Sure Lebanese guys like outgoing independent women, but they also have a possessive quality to them. They love a girl that can play hard-to-get, so don’t put-out just yet, keep him wanting more. If  he leans in for a kiss, give him your cheek.

Places To Go and NOT To Go For Your First Date:

1)      Dinner is always a good choice. This way you can have good conversation and check out table manners, maybe she’s rude to the waiter, would you still want to date her?

2)      Drinks at a friendly, quiet bar in Gemmayzeh, steer clear from the loud sloppy ones, instead try out a cute spot like GEM or Joe Penias for some fresh cocktails.

3)      Don’t hit up a club on your first date, you won’t hear each other speak; you’ll probably end up drunk and pull some moves you may regret on the dance floor.

4)      Don’t meet parents, if he’s introducing you already you SHOULD  be freaked out, he probably does the same with all the girls he dates. Meeting the parents should be special and it should come after at least 3 more dates or more. BISOUX


Lebanese Summer Countdown- 9 Tips To Get Fit

So your New Year resolutions are a distant dream by now. You were supposed to quit smoking (even socially), become a regular at the gym ( a 15 min sprint on the treadmill doesn’t count )and most importantly eat healthy ( even during work hours)

It’s March and you’re still hung-over from the weekend. Your mind kept telling you to get that salad for lunch but every cell in your stomach was screaming for grease, so you ordered Fern Tony’s  Deluxe Burger . Your co-workers watched you gobble that beast down as they fiddled with their rice and spinach. But you’re back at your desk now, about to participate in some serious self-loathing wondering how you got here.  Knowing that within mere months, the hot and sexy gym busy-bees of this country will be ready to flaunt their combos of six packs, pectorals, biceps and what not while you’ll be struggling to stop yourself from ordering a bottle of extra-chilled rose by the beach.

Snap out of it; get a hold of yourself and enough with the procrastination.  I’ve come up with a couple of pointers to keep you satisfied but slick this season.

1)      Eat breakfast and get full, it’s the oldest trick in the book but it actually works wonders.  And no, that doesn’t mean indulging in some fried eggs and bacon, but a healthy whole wheat pita bread with some labneh, cucumber and olives , or turkey and cheese with some lettuce. Wash it down with a sweet fruit-but bar or perhaps a handful or almonds and raisins.

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