Category Archives: Sly Yet Genius Dating Tips

In Lebanon- Sex Sells Chicken

I’ve never before been to “al Saniour” located in Antelias but I’ve heard many stories about how that restaurant is THE pick-up spot for many ready-to-mingle people in Lebanon, both men and women.

The strategy? Bluetooth. Just switch on your Bluetooth and before you know it you’ll get flooded with messages, pics or in some cases, cheesy songs. Of course I did not believe that for one second until I stepped in to the immensely condensed place yesterday (a friend of mine was in town and she just loves that place) and not-to-my-surprise almost every single lady and man had attached themselves to two very peculiar objects, their cells, that were placed right in front of their faces, and their arghilehs ( hubbly bubblies)  that went into their mouths. As customers walked in those  people would put down their cells,  bluntly assess what they see and begin typing vigorously on their smart phones. It was though a network was put in place and we were mere contestants amongst a panel of judges who would soon provide us with their verdict.  Only after twenty minutes of being seated did the crowd-with-a-staring-problem finally get used to our presence and accept us as part of the herd. i.e. they stopped staring us down so hard.

No,we did not turn on our Bluetooth, we were way too busy AWE-ing over the menu that did not seem to hold back on the sexual innuendos.  If you thought strawberries and whipped cream are sexy you obviously  haven’t been exposed to some taouk and garlic. Take a look…

And in case you were in the mood for something light, how about..

A Guide to Surviving Your Boyfriend’s Lebanese Parents

1) When visiting his home, do not go into your boyfriend’s room unaccompanied and DO NOT shut the door while your both in there alone. There is nothing Lebanese parents find more horrifying  than a lady with no “respect”.  No matter how much he encourages it and tells you they’re  “cool” they’ll be whispering about you in the kitchen. Sleep Overs are big NO NO.

2) Don’t call him more than once when you know he’s spending the day with his parents, there is nothing parents fear more than a clingy girlfriend that won’t give them “ quality time” with their pride and joy.

3) Just because they’re polite enough to invite you to every Sunday lunch, it doesn’t mean you should show up to every single one, they wanna know you have your own family obligations you have to attend to.  There is nothing moms love more than a family girl for their handsome fella!

4) The same goes for getting touchy-feely. Even if you’re got a little tipsy at his cousin’s wedding, do not start grinding with him on the dance floor in front of the entire 45 members of his extended family and his great-uncle from his mom’s side. Save that for the after-party ;)

5) If she offers you food, do not refuse it, even if you’re convinced her portions are purposely intended to make you pack some more pounds.  Smile, accept and praise the food, even if tastes like something your cat would reject.

6) Last but not least, do not ever do or say anything mean/ angry to him while his parents are around. Even a  frown could be damaging. Not only is that tacky but it’s a signal that there is weakness in your relationship, which they will be quick to pounce on. Keep it together- until you get into the car, only then you can let him have it.

 

5 Lebanese Ways To Turn Off A Man

1)      Nagging- we’re such a culture of naggers, it’s that whiny high pitched voice we like to put on when things don’t go our way, here’s a news flash, men don’t like it, AT ALL. So what if they didn’t have that top in your size at Zara or if your best friend is going out to lunch with your frenemy, guys just don’t care, if you insist on bitching, call your girlfriends.

2) Make Up Overload – Easy on the Paint, we tend to layer things up around here, the tranny look is quite popular.  Looking well-kept is great but looking like a street walker in the middle of the day just frightens men away, unless truck drivers are your thing. Easy on the foundation, pick the right color for your skin, lose the fake lashes and burn the damn lip-liner. Make-up should cover your faults not create new ones.

3) Desperada All your friends are  getting married and you don’t even have a boyfriend. So What?! You haven’t found the right one for you yet, no reason to start looking desperate. Men sense desperation like sharks smell blood, the only difference is, men will run in the opposite direction. Just relax, don’t rush things. If you wanna let him know you’re the serious kind from the gecko, just don’t put-out so fast, he’ll get it.

4) We’re mean.  Yup, we enjoy being mean, to each other, to unsuspecting waiters, to innocent pedestrians and mostly to our men. Men are not driven by emotions and fortunately for them, their hormones are for the most part, stable, so stop using the silliest excuse to pounce on the poor guy whenever you’re having a mood swing. Angry women are very unattractive to men, if you’re having a bad day; do not use him as your punching bag.

5)      Entitlement- Here’s a common misconception, if he’s a gentleman he’ll pay for everything. Some of the richest guys out there are total douche bags who think they can buy anything and anyone with their plastic cards. Unless you’re for sale, don’t let him pay for everything, respect is priceless.

Want more? What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

No Such Thing As A Free Drink Ladies

We tested out this theory Friday night. My girls and I went out for some drinks in Hamra.

 10:15 PM We enter the first spot and head straight to the bar. As soon as we ordered some drinks the bartender gave us a round of free shots.  Jagermeister. The man clearly wanted to get us drunk. We hesitantly drank them, thanked him and tried to continue our discussion. He stuck around. At times, even interrupted our conversations to contribute to the topic. It was annoying.

10:47 PM We start giving him some serious attitude and so he brings in the next round of shots. This time: tequila.  We knew were this was going so we had the shots thanked him and asked for the bill.
He wanted a number, any number, all our numbers, whatever he could get. We apologized and told him we all have boyfriends.

11:03 PM We finally get the bill and it included ALL the shots. My friend wanted to go off on the sleazeball for charging us for shots he offered, I convinced her out of it. We don’t need his freebies.

11:17 PM  We move onto another bar. Suddenly the waitress shows up with three glass of Moet, from the two gentlemen in the corner. So here’s the dilemma, we don’t accept them, and we look like uptight stuck-up girls who don’t know how to have some fun, but if we do accept the drinks we risk having to reject the men in person.  So we hesitate for a minute, but it’s champagne!

11:35 PM The men are hovering like sharks that’ve spotted their prey, until they finally decide to approach us. One of them says something cheesy calling us “very beautiful women.”

“Thanks for the champagne, but if you don’t mind we are having a girls night” my friend says to them.  We may as well have just shown the guys some skin, because we seem to have turned them on somehow.  They were both smiling and still hanging out at our table, at some point one guy even placed his drink on our table.

11:43 PM We ask them to leave again, they just smile.  So I looked at them both and said” listen guys, thanks for the drinks but we are not interested.”  They got even more excited at this point.

11:50 PM We exit the bar

Oldest dating lesson in the book: Accepting a drink is a verbal contract with a stranger. Indeed he wants something in return: YOU

Dating In Beirut- IVY’s DO’s and DON’Ts

In case you missed them here are some of my dating tips that the lovely Claire shared on Light FM’s (90.5)   Friday afternoon drive.  If you haven’t tuned in, you must, for some of  hottest dating and fashion tips in Beirut, while listening to some stress-free fabulous music.

At This point, you probably consider yourself a Pro in the dating scene in Beirut, but everyone knows that even the best of players need to sharpen those skills every now and then.

Long term relationships are comfy, but dating in Beirut can get very exciting.  Yes there are 6 girls to every guy, but it’s a good reason for ladies to ditch conformity and make a lasting impression.

1)      Ladies, You don’t need to dress in some super- skimpy outfit to get his attention, I’m not suggesting you get covered–up either , instead just be yourself,  show some skin in a sultry yet classy way. You wanna grab his attention not every sleaze ball’s in the room.

2)      The alpha male may not always be the right guy for you. Yes, he has the broadest shoulders you’ve seen on man, but that doesn’t mean he’ll give you one to cry on…  He’s the loudest in the place and has the most friends but his machoness may make him a less likely candidate for a committed relationship. The other cute guy may seem shorter but he’s probably funnier and more down-to earth, qualities you should be looking for in a boyfriend.

3)      Letting him buy you one drink is fine, but don’t let him pay for everything.  Some of us girls in Lebanon, think that a guy that picks up the bill  is a gentleman, but that may not always be the case.  You’re independent, and you should not only buy your own drinks but invite him to some as well, men love independent strong women, so be one!

4)      Kissing on the first date. Sure Lebanese guys like outgoing independent women, but they also have a possessive quality to them. They love a girl that can play hard-to-get, so don’t put-out just yet, keep him wanting more. If  he leans in for a kiss, give him your cheek.

Places To Go and NOT To Go For Your First Date:

1)      Dinner is always a good choice. This way you can have good conversation and check out table manners, maybe she’s rude to the waiter, would you still want to date her?

2)      Drinks at a friendly, quiet bar in Gemmayzeh, steer clear from the loud sloppy ones, instead try out a cute spot like GEM or Joe Penias for some fresh cocktails.

3)      Don’t hit up a club on your first date, you won’t hear each other speak; you’ll probably end up drunk and pull some moves you may regret on the dance floor.

4)      Don’t meet parents, if he’s introducing you already you SHOULD  be freaked out, he probably does the same with all the girls he dates. Meeting the parents should be special and it should come after at least 3 more dates or more. BISOUX


I’ll Have My Coffee With Some Drama Please, Thank You

Aside from the lame move he pulled at a club months back, my man is very chilled out. Perhaps too relaxed at times.  And God knows I’ve striven for a drama–free relationship but sometimes making up is the best part of having a fight.

I’m far from being bored, don’t get me wrong. He intellectually challenges me all the time, he’s stubborn as hell, but at times he’s too mature to get into the smallest scuffle with me.  And somehow, as ungrateful as this may come off, it bugs me.  Things can’t be picture perfect ALL the time. Or can they?

My girls thought I was out of my mind when I brought it up the other day. They gave me the same scornful look they give our super skinny friend whenever she announces how fat she’s getting.  But my friend Nancy gets it.  She thinks I should always keep my man fired up, this way, the flame will always stay alive.

My mother tells me I’m being melodramatic. And if I keep up this behavior I’m bound to lose him.  “You always want what you can’t have IVY, so why don’t you just grow up already.” And when your mom breaks it down to you like that, you know you’re in the wrong.

So this got me thinking. I’ve had my fair share of over-the-top relationships, I’ve loathed the non-stop fights and drama that eventually got me running for the door; which leads to this latest conclusion:

Can we become subconsciously programmed to consider drama as a  necessary element to our relationships?

I’ve been doing some investigating, and apparently this is a very common tendency. Do you agree? Bisoux

Lebanese Summer Countdown- 9 Tips To Get Fit

So your New Year resolutions are a distant dream by now. You were supposed to quit smoking (even socially), become a regular at the gym ( a 15 min sprint on the treadmill doesn’t count )and most importantly eat healthy ( even during work hours)

It’s March and you’re still hung-over from the weekend. Your mind kept telling you to get that salad for lunch but every cell in your stomach was screaming for grease, so you ordered Fern Tony’s  Deluxe Burger . Your co-workers watched you gobble that beast down as they fiddled with their rice and spinach. But you’re back at your desk now, about to participate in some serious self-loathing wondering how you got here.  Knowing that within mere months, the hot and sexy gym busy-bees of this country will be ready to flaunt their combos of six packs, pectorals, biceps and what not while you’ll be struggling to stop yourself from ordering a bottle of extra-chilled rose by the beach.

Snap out of it; get a hold of yourself and enough with the procrastination.  I’ve come up with a couple of pointers to keep you satisfied but slick this season.

1)      Eat breakfast and get full, it’s the oldest trick in the book but it actually works wonders.  And no, that doesn’t mean indulging in some fried eggs and bacon, but a healthy whole wheat pita bread with some labneh, cucumber and olives , or turkey and cheese with some lettuce. Wash it down with a sweet fruit-but bar or perhaps a handful or almonds and raisins.

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What The Drink You Order Says About You- The Lebanese Version- Round 2

Local Wine:

2 reasons.  After long years of abuse, your hard liquor days are over and you now have managed to regularly order a drink that you can sip at a constant pace, without getting drunk and silly. Best ordered for a drink out with colleagues.  You’ve even come to enjoy its tipsy effect only because you’re usually asleep before you can do anything silly.

Or, you spent all your money on hard liquor and local wine is the cheapest and fastest way you can get drunk without burning a hole in your pocket.

Beer:

You’re either broke or super-hungover.  If you allow yourself 6 or more, there’s a high probability you’ll be switching to hard liquor very soon.  Which defeats the entire purpose of why you had beer in the first place. If you’re a girl and you’re ordering it “Mexcian” style  you actually can’t stand beer but it looks good at the beach so whatever….

Vodka 7 Up

It took you years to evolve into this drink. You first did the whole screwdriver thing. Then you joined the vodka Redbull wagon, but after numerous drunken episodes, losing a bunch of friends, switching from Medicine to Business,  and wrecking daddy’s car along the way you finally realized it wasn’t the best mix.  You didn’t wanna give up the Vodka all together, but needed a good companion. Then you saw an older friend drink it with a Seven-Up and it’s been love ever since. When you’re feeling sophisticated you order it with a slice of lemon.

Rum and Coke:

You first ordered rum cause you wanted to stand out and frankly you liked the way it sounds. Then when you hit your twenties you outgrew it. But if you’re still drinking it, you do it cause you consider yourself a bit of a lefty, you like to hang out at hippy-ish pubs in Hamra where foreigners hang out in packs and girls don’t brush their hair or because you’re still friends with those who didn’t outgrow rum.

Mojito

You enjoy torturing bartenders. You wanna see him chop those mints, manually mix-in that brown sugar all the whilst making the final product look good.  Yet, you still ask the waiter why the  drink you ordered is taking so long. Cause you’re annoying that’s why! Bisoux

If you missed What The Drink You Order Says About You Round One Click here

Here Is How YOU Got Whipped By Your Better Half

How many couples do you know in relationships that are equally in control? Not many eh?  Frequently there is that one person that has a firm-er grip on the other. That one person that shoots that deadly withering look, signaling him/her to stop doing whatever it is they are doing. That one person who calls most of the shots.   If my friend you find yourself on the receiving end of those looks, you are what we call: whipped.

So how did you get whipped?

Is it love? I love you so much therefore I will just say yes to please you, even if it means allowing you to dress me up in those ridiculously tight pants and a red bow-tie to suit your red dress- I’ll do anything for love.

Or

Power, some personalities are more dominant than others, it’s the pecking order. Everywhere you look, you have leaders and you have followers and couples in a relationship naturally fall into these categories.

Or

Fighting is just not worth it anymore. You love him/ her but you just can’t take the drama that comes with trying to plan a girls/boys night out. And slowly you start losing yourself, losing your voice and not to mention- your friends.

Because whether they choose to admit it to themselves or not somewhere behind every couple, there exists a bitter friend(s) who yearn to walk right you them and shake them out of this hypnosis.

Or

Some of us just like to meet that one person that is able to control us.  Maybe because a) we are control freaks that get turned on from getting controlled, or b) we are so weak and insecure , we are happy to shy away from decisions and would much rather get whipped than grow a pair.

I’m a bit of a control freak myself, but the guy I’ve been seeing  has somehow managed to get me to sit back while he sails this ship. Will this last for long- I hope so, it’s a total turn-on. Thoughts? Bisoux

Everybody Likes It Hard

The best part of a relationship is right at the start.  Yes, yes, yes love grows with time blah blah blah, but you can’t deny what a thrill it is to actually start dating someone you really like. Someone who you know likes you but keeps you guessing.  He’s got you right where he wants you – on your toes!

But the decisions you make during this time are also going to be the factors that make or break it.  Yes, you connected, sure it feels like you’ve known each other forever, but that is surely not a reason for you to spend all weekend cooped up in his house. A girl’s independence is one of the most alluring factors for men; you can’t just drop it at the first sign of love. We all love us some game and you gotta keep playing. There is no finish line.

And that’s  what I fear the most in a relationship, comfort. We all seek it, but it can be the number one destructive ingredient in a relationship. Couples do this mistake a lot, one minute they are dating, clubbing, pubbing and the next, they are home on a Saturday night ordering pizza and watching a movie. Ideally, that sounds like a nice plan, but not when it becomes the rule rather than the exception. Because when you get to the pizza too soon, you’re more likely to kiss your man goodbye even sooner.

So I’m not suggesting you get to work or class hungover every day to keep your relationship alive, all I’m saying is try not to get too comfortable too fast . We like to feel wanted but we also love the chase. Don’t you agree? Bisoux