Category Archives: Sly Yet Genius Dating Tips

6 Reasons Why He Didn’t Call You Back

So you met this “amazing” guy and thought you hit it off. But you’ve been staring at your phone for 6 days now wondering why he has yet to call. You’ve gone through every moment of your encounter over and over again in your head wondering where it went wrong.

You can stop obsessing now, Here’s why you haven’t heard from him…

ring finger

1)      He has a girlfriend/wife. And she doesn’t usually let him out of her sight. So when he does manage to get away he’s on the prowl. He didn’t really go to the washroom every time he excused himself; he was in the bathroom texting her or putting his kids to bed. You’ve been played.

 

too easy

2)      You put out right away. He’s now categorized you as a “fun-loving” kind of girl aka easy. And your keenness on reminding him that you “never do this” every five minutes only tells him how much you actually do this, even if you really don’t. Men like the chase. And sure, he pursued you all night, but now he has no reason to come back from more. Play your cards right and you’ve got yourself a second date.

didnt put out

 

3)      You didn’t put out. I know, weird. Some men may only be on the hunt for a fast hookup. So when he knows you’re a lady, suddenly he’s lost interest because he’s not ready for potential girlfriend material in his life, didn’t want to work hard for it and just wanted something quick and easy. Consider his disappearance a blessing.

Lindsay Lohan

4)      You scared him off. You didn’t have to tell him how all your girlfriends are married and you’re the only one left. You didn’t have to tell him how your ex broke your heart and most men are jerks. And you really didn’t have to tell him how happy your sister’s kids make you. What did you expect, really!

the chase

5)      There’s hard to get and then there’s too hard to get. Your aloof and standoffish attitude gave him the impression that you’re not that into him, even if you gave him your number. Flirting with the bartender didn’t help either. Loosen up and put you’re guards down even if you’re worried about getting your heart broken.

HighMaintenanceFeature

6)      You’re high maintenance. He was willing to overlook the full makeup look and sky-high stilettos if it weren’t for  your minute-by-minute Instagram updates, excessive texting and the 7 selfies you took and posted in less than an hour. If that wasn’t superficial enough, looking the other way when the bill arrived only made matters worse.

Enjoyed this post? Also check out

8 Reasons Why He Won’t Marry You

5 Reason’s You’re Still Single- The Arab Men Edition

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The Lebanese Politicians’ Wedding Album

He’s Muslim, She’s Christian, All They Need is Love Right! Right??

Dating in Beirut, Ivy’s Dos and Don’ts

 

 

 

 

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8 Reasons Why Arab Men Won’t Marry You

why arab men will not marry

1)      His buddies are still single. That’s right; Birds of a feather flock together. Don’t expect your man to simply warm up to the idea of marriage just because you pitched it. It’s always easier and less petrifying for them to take the plunge together, this way they won’t feel like they’re missing out on late night parties at ONE because they were up early with you deciding between petunias or orchids.

 

2)      You’re too controlling. Why leave a carefree home only to share one with a woman who needs to sign a leave request for his every move? Men have caught on, and they pretty much know it’s only going to get worse once he’s under your tutelage, so either loosen up your grip or enjoy the title of possessive girlfriend. Forever.

 

 

3)      Your dream wedding may land him in small claims court, that or a jail cell. Yes, sure the wedding isn’t just about just you, it’s about your parents and your aunt, her father, your grandma’s sister and your third cousins twice removed. But give the guy a break and ditch the foolish fireworks and greasy one-man show, trust me, they will not make or break your marriage.

 

4)      His mama loves him. So very much. It’s very hard for you to snatch a mother goose’s golden egg out of the nest, especially when momma is still feeding, and yes for Arab boys the feeding lasts forever if needed be. So don’t think she’s gonna just give him up that easy. Chances are you won’t be able to take half as good care of him as she can and the problem is HE knows it too. So unless you know how to make him Mloukhiyeh while him and his buddy play on the Xbox , he’s not going home with you.

 

 

5)      Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. No I didn’t just compare my own gender to cows? Ok yes maybe a little. But you know what I mean. I am very much pro-cohabitation, however let’s say things as they are, most men don’t see the need to marry you when they are already getting all the benefits of living with you minus the legal commitment, the rock and many headaches to come.

 

6)      You’ve hinted too hard. Yes, especially since you’ve resorted to begging. There is nothing more unattractive for a man than a desperate/pushy woman. It’s harsh but it’s the truth.

 

7)      Let’s just say his family don’t think too highly of you. You could be the sweetest and prettiest girl on the block and still not make the cut for their perfect little prince with a face only a mother can love. It’s very hard for an Arab man to tie the knot without parental approval, when you marry Arab, you sort of marry the family too. So unless he’s super independent both financially and emotionally don’t count on it.

8)      You’re not marriage material. Sure you’ve been dating for over a year, but you should have noticed by now how he’s only taking you along to the fun nights. And although you’ve done unorthodox things together he still plans on marrying virgin Salma from the village when it’s time. It’s not you, it’s his primate instincts.

If you don’t relate to any of these then it’s cause he’s an idiot, who fails to see the diamond in the rough you are, so if he’s not appreciating what he’s got this early on chances are he never will. And who wants to marry a man with lack of vision anyway? Move on and never look back, plenty of fish in the sea ladies. His loss, just doesn’t know it yet.

 

Have I missed any?

Enjoyed this post? Also check out

5 Reason’s You’re Still Single- The Arab Men Edition

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Men

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits of Middle Eastern Women

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The Lebanese Politicians’ Wedding Album

He’s Muslim, She’s Christian, All They Need is Love Right! Right??

 

 

 

 

Ask Ivy: The Hottest Weekly Advice Column on Beirut.com

I’m very proud to announce my latest collaboration with Beirut-dot-com ASK IVY!

Each Wednesday I will have my very own advice column on Beirut.com where I will be answering all your questions on love, dating, relationships and any other dirty little thought in your head. No questions are off-limits and you don’t have to reveal your identity so feel free to throw any of your most intimate and even embarrassing topics my way at tell.ivy@gmail.com.

From Boyfriends, Condoms and Creepy Stalkers to Spicing Up Relationships Gone Stale, Bad Breakups and Super Clingy Boyfriends, take a minute to check out this week’s Ask Ivy Column  at Beirut.com

5 Reasons You’re Still Single; The Arab Men Edition-Part I

1) Just because a girl sat next to you in a café or bar it doesn’t mean she is trying to grab your attention, look around you, perhaps all the rest of the tables are taken. Let her have her coffee in peace.

2) Don’t get brave just cause you’re with your buddies. Girls do not like to get hit on by a table full of buffoons and you probably don’t want to date the ones who do. Hitting on a girl in groups is called harassment. That makes you an offender.

3) Don’t force eye contact on a girl; if she’s trying to avoid your gaze, she’s not playing hard to get she’s just not interested. Plain and simple. The number of times your eyes meet will not increase your chances of getting her number. You just come off as a stalker.

4) A girl notices right away when your gaze shifts south of her neck. And no matter how many times you try to redeem yourself, know that you’ve been exposed. So fight the urge, look at her face when you’re addressing her.

5) So she’s wearing a mini-skirt. That doesn’t make her a hoe. She probably just has great legs. Practice good judgement. Don’t twist your neck attempting to follow her every foot step just to take it all in before she’s out of sight. You exude perverseness and desperation, especially if you’re with another girl.

Also check out

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

The Girl Your Mother Won’t Let You Marry

We’ve all had that one girlfriend that just can’t live without a man in her life at all times. The girl that dives head first into a relationship every fifteen minutes. Every guy is a rebound of a rebound.

She likes to come off as thick-skinned and nonchalant to everyone around her, but in reality she’s a needy little girl who’s terrified of being alone with herself. Her excessive emotional need and constant urge to feed her oversized ego have blinded her with the determination to acquire testosterone she can call her own.

So she puts on her mask every morning and throws herself at the first guy who’ll buy her act. She’ll make him do EVERYTHING with her as though he were some sort of fashion accessory. Her entire life will revolve around this one guy; she’ll even manage his Facebook profile and reply to comments on his behalf. Her severe jealousy will force him to ostracize all his female friends. She’ll limit his weekly soccer games with the guys and suddenly he’ll find himself joining her girls on their nights out. And if the poor man ever managed to get away to tend to a pressing family affair, she’ll hammer him with phone calls until his entire family start rolling their eyes.

At this point one of two things will occur:

1) She would have dominated him to the extent where he surrenders his soul to her and before he knows it he’s choosing between petunias and orchids for the wedding he somehow managed to find himself hypnotized into.

2) Her smell of desperation and crazy obsession with control begins to seep through the cracks and the lucky man will make a run for it.

So to all you poor hardworking unsuspecting fellows out there going out for a good time tonight, let’s hope you don’t fall for that forward approach and forthcoming smile, she’s hungry and has been sharpening her fangs for awhile. Bisoux

Enjoyed this post? Then check out 5 Lebanese Ways To Turn Off A Man 

and

Men Love Bitches- The Case Study

The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

1)      Complaining about your overtly jealous woman then throwing tantrums when she merely glances at other men in the room. You are not the Sultan and whatever applies to her applies to you as well. Enough with this chauvinistic melodrama.

 2)       Flaunting your finances when wooing a woman, wining and dining her at the priciest spots in town, ordering the ridiculous magnum champagne bottles and showering her with expensive gifts only to later complain that she’s only with you for your money. You set yourself up for this one honey.

 3)      Her style is what got you noticing her in the first place, but suddenly you’re not feeling those mini dresses and shorts anymore. You’re on a conservative trip and you expect her to cover-up. Stop those outfit sanctions; you’re not being protective, you’re being a hypocrite.

 4)      You want a good girl from a “good family” yet you expect her to join you on those weekend getaways even if she has to lie to her parents about her whereabouts. If her parents don’t fall for it, you’ll go solo anyways. Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

5)      Her BFF just had a rough break up and she’s hitting the town, hard. Suddenly the girl who used to help you resolve a fight with your lady is now being sidelined as a “bad influence.”  If you expect your girl to drop her friend just like that then get ready to do the same for her.

 6)      She was honest to you about her past relationships from the start, yet the closer you get, the more annoyed, jealous and paranoid  you start to become with her history.  This is not an “honour” issue; your own insecurities are getting the best of you.

PDA-The Lebanese Way

Seriously, tell us how you really feel. Just when I thought I had a romantic Valentine Abdo here had to show up and upstage everyone.

In Lebanon- Sex Sells Chicken

I’ve never before been to “al Saniour” located in Antelias but I’ve heard many stories about how that restaurant is THE pick-up spot for many ready-to-mingle people in Lebanon, both men and women.

The strategy? Bluetooth. Just switch on your Bluetooth and before you know it you’ll get flooded with messages, pics or in some cases, cheesy songs. Of course I did not believe that for one second until I stepped in to the immensely condensed place yesterday (a friend of mine was in town and she just loves that place) and not-to-my-surprise almost every single lady and man had attached themselves to two very peculiar objects, their cells, that were placed right in front of their faces, and their arghilehs ( hubbly bubblies)  that went into their mouths. As customers walked in those  people would put down their cells,  bluntly assess what they see and begin typing vigorously on their smart phones. It was though a network was put in place and we were mere contestants amongst a panel of judges who would soon provide us with their verdict.  Only after twenty minutes of being seated did the crowd-with-a-staring-problem finally get used to our presence and accept us as part of the herd. i.e. they stopped staring us down so hard.

No,we did not turn on our Bluetooth, we were way too busy AWE-ing over the menu that did not seem to hold back on the sexual innuendos.  If you thought strawberries and whipped cream are sexy you obviously  haven’t been exposed to some taouk and garlic. Take a look…

And in case you were in the mood for something light, how about..

5 Lebanese Ways To Turn Off A Man

1)      Nagging- we’re such a culture of naggers, it’s that whiny high pitched voice we like to put on when things don’t go our way, here’s a news flash, men don’t like it, AT ALL. So what if they didn’t have that top in your size at Zara or if your best friend is going out to lunch with your frenemy, guys just don’t care, if you insist on bitching, call your girlfriends.

2) Make Up Overload – Easy on the Paint, we tend to layer things up around here, the tranny look is quite popular.  Looking well-kept is great but looking like a street walker in the middle of the day just frightens men away, unless truck drivers are your thing. Easy on the foundation, pick the right color for your skin, lose the fake lashes and burn the damn lip-liner. Make-up should cover your faults not create new ones.

3) Desperada All your friends are  getting married and you don’t even have a boyfriend. So What?! You haven’t found the right one for you yet, no reason to start looking desperate. Men sense desperation like sharks smell blood, the only difference is, men will run in the opposite direction. Just relax, don’t rush things. If you wanna let him know you’re the serious kind from the get-go, just don’t put-out so fast, he’ll get it.

4) We’re mean.  Yup, we enjoy being mean, to each other, to unsuspecting waiters, to innocent pedestrians and mostly to our men. Men are not driven by emotions and fortunately for them, their hormones are for the most part, stable, so stop using the silliest excuse to pounce on the poor guy whenever you’re having a mood swing. Angry women are very unattractive to men, if you’re having a bad day; do not use him as your punching bag.

5)      Entitlement- Here’s a common misconception, if he’s a gentleman he’ll pay for everything. Some of the richest guys out there are total douche bags who think they can buy anything and anyone with their plastic cards. Unless you’re for sale, don’t let him pay for everything, respect is priceless.

Want more? What Men Really Want- Especially Lebanese Men

No Such Thing As A Free Drink Ladies

We tested out this theory Friday night. My girls and I went out for some drinks in Hamra.

 10:15 PM We enter the first spot and head straight to the bar. As soon as we ordered some drinks the bartender gave us a round of free shots.  Jagermeister. The man clearly wanted to get us drunk. We hesitantly drank them, thanked him and tried to continue our discussion. He stuck around. At times, even interrupted our conversations to contribute to the topic. It was annoying.

10:47 PM We start giving him some serious attitude and so he brings in the next round of shots. This time: tequila.  We knew were this was going so we had the shots thanked him and asked for the bill.
He wanted a number, any number, all our numbers, whatever he could get. We apologized and told him we all have boyfriends.

11:03 PM We finally get the bill and it included ALL the shots. My friend wanted to go off on the sleazeball for charging us for shots he offered, I convinced her out of it. We don’t need his freebies.

11:17 PM  We move onto another bar. Suddenly the waitress shows up with three glass of Moet, from the two gentlemen in the corner. So here’s the dilemma, we don’t accept them, and we look like uptight stuck-up girls who don’t know how to have some fun, but if we do accept the drinks we risk having to reject the men in person.  So we hesitate for a minute, but it’s champagne!

11:35 PM The men are hovering like sharks that’ve spotted their prey, until they finally decide to approach us. One of them says something cheesy calling us “very beautiful women.”

“Thanks for the champagne, but if you don’t mind we are having a girls night” my friend says to them.  We may as well have just shown the guys some skin, because we seem to have turned them on somehow.  They were both smiling and still hanging out at our table, at some point one guy even placed his drink on our table.

11:43 PM We ask them to leave again, they just smile.  So I looked at them both and said” listen guys, thanks for the drinks but we are not interested.”  They got even more excited at this point.

11:50 PM We exit the bar

Oldest dating lesson in the book: Accepting a drink is a verbal contract with a stranger. Indeed he wants something in return: YOU