Planning a wedding is hard anywhere in the world. But in Lebanon, it’s no laughing matter. Drama is usually an essential element in most soon-to-be-wed couples’ lives but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Here are some tips on how you can avoid drama if you’re planning for your nuptials:
It was a circus at the hairdresser‘s salon on Sunday- I walked in to find every hen in the neighborhood waiting to get her hair puffed “bombe” style.
But there was a larger than usual fuss happening in the center of it all, everyone was ooohing, aahing and gushing over a bride-to-be seated amidst the chaos on the biggest chair in the room, getting her wedding hair primped by the hairdresser- who happened to also be- THE GROOM!
Everyone seemed to treat it like a common practice, except for me. I thought it was the most bizarre thing! Whatever happened to the myth of “ bad luck” for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony? Here, the groom was sticking extensions on his bride-to-be’s hair and she was grasping her veil, directing him every step of the way.
As soon as I got over the weirdness of it all, I then thought about how convenient it would be for this bride during the wedding party, whenever a strand of hair would fall out of place all she would drag him out of the dance floor and make him pull out a bottle of hairspray and a pin from his pockets and give her a quick touch-up. Better yet, she can guarantee great hair days on her honeymoon since she’s with her hairdresser the entire time.
I still think it’s all very strange, but yet another one of those incidents that makes our Lebanese culture so distinctive in its own way. Would you date your hairdresser? Let alone have him style your hair for your wedding to him?
Posted in Diary Of A Single Girl In Beirut
Tagged lebanese culture, lebanon, social dynamics, weddings, women
I watched a cat fight go down while on my way to work this morning. A frustrated blonde in her late thirties in a Jeep Renegade cut into another younger woman in a black Civic’s lane. When the Honda held her hand on the horn, the Jeep lady gave her the big finger. That’s when shit got really rowdy. The Honda lady was overcome with pure road rage as she sped up and began blocking the Jeep lady’s path. Both those inconsiderate ego-driven hags were completely oblivious to the other cars in the road, almost knocking off three other cars on a lane as they ferociously chased each other down on the highway. They kept it up for a good ten minutes before the Jeep lady took a left turn, with her manicured middle finger still out the window. It was pure luck that left no one hurt following this stringent show of force, but in a split second, those two cars could have collided at such high-speeds leaving only a trail of destruction behind.
I’ve come to the realization, that such encounters are almost inevitable to a city with no traffic laws in place, or empowered traffic police, a city where only the foul, vulgar and short-sighted rule the road. I’ve come to the conclusion that the streets are here to stay, but it’s a change in your perspective, as a driver, that could bring about positive change, and if practiced collectively, then maybe, just maybe, things can get better.
Because the only reason some people participate in such madness is because they themselves are mad people. Mad, angry frustrated people having a bad day with only one place to vent: the road. So the next time that crazy old cabbie comes to a complete halt, or the annoying power-tripping guy in his huge SUV almost grazes the side of your car at full speed, or the silly woman tails your bumper for a good half hour, take a deep breath and remember, it is their unhappy ignorant lives that make them act this way, unless you share the same sentiments, please do not participate.
Posted in Diary Of A Single Girl In Beirut
Tagged lebanese culture, lebanon, social dynamics
A married man- to many of us this word may represent our fathers, husbands or the title we hope to bestow on our fiancés one day, but it comes as no surprise for some of you to learn that for some women the word “married man”, represents their main attraction.
Yes, we all want what we can’t always have, perhaps the latest Louboutins or a custom-made McQueen gown, we hope and wish that someday we’ll be able to attain these luxury aspirations, but what happens what when a women starts actively focusing her energy on another woman’s husband?
It’s not a new trend; on the contrary, women have been after other women’s husbands for years, but I’m starting to feel that this trend is on the rise- in Lebanon, and the worst part: the taboo undertone is no longer as present.
With a ratio of 6 women to every man who blames those home wreckers, correct? Wrong! This is not the story where an innocent lady in her mid-to-late twenties is fooled into a love triangle by some deceitful man sans his wedding band, with a wife and kids at home, rather this is a story of the girls that go out on the hunt-for any man-and if he happens to be married, oh well, it’s fair game and she’ll just have to work harder at luring him into leaving his wife for her. At ANY cost.
A friend of a friend of mine is dating a married man. I wouldn’t describe her as a smart girl, but her brain is functional enough to have sustained her steady job for some years now. He’s a well established man in his forties, the best part: He wears his wedding band even while he’s out with her. She’s seen him out with his wife a couple of times before she became his side-dish, and became very envious of what they had. She knew that not in a million years would she ever be able to land such a man, so she decided she may as well have a taste, and that’s exactly what she did.
He’s a scumbag, the lowest of the low, but this story isn’t about him. It’s about the women who knowingly pursue married men, hoping that one day, he won’t be able to live without them, and that they will put everything on the line, for them. That seldom happens, really, and when the wife forgives him and takes him back, the only villain left in this story, will be the one who dated a married man.
Do you know any home wreckers?
Posted in Diary Of A Single Girl In Beirut
Tagged lebanese culture, love, social dynamics, theft, women
Farah. Once upon a time Farah was pretty in a natural way. Her nose wasn’t as petite as it is now, but it was the right nose for her face. Her hair wasn’t platinum sleek, it was light-ish brown with a slight wave to it. Her breasts did not pop out of most of her shirts, they were proportional. Her skin wasn’t a burnt orange tint, she was fair. Farah chose to alter her look, to conform to some strange prototype we have managed to aspire to look like in Lebanon. For her it was a fruitful change. A considerable group of men are loving it, as they watch Farah get in her black Mercedes C 200 they whistle, blow kisses, and even yell out their phone numbers. Farah acts oblivious but inside, she is excited, overcome with a sense of achievement. She’ll only respond to the admirer with the Pimp-est car.
Tamer is a walking hazard, with all the gel and wax on his hair, he may catch on fire. He spends most of his time pumping iron at the gym, counting his muscles, and oiling his pectorals. The highlight of his day involves getting checked out by some random girl while lifting some weights. Today it happens to be Farah. He’ll walk right up to her point out her problem areas and tell her what moves/machines she needs to be working on instead. If she shows potential (and willingness) he’ll then take her out for some grilled chicken.
Tamer will then invite Farah out to a cheesy club, one-man-show style. She’ll dress like a stripper and he’ll put his chest hair on display. She’ll shoot death looks at all of Tamer’s lady friends and he’ll start a fist fight with Farah’s ex-boyfriend who just waived at her. She’ll love the way he fought for her honor and will reward him by losing it for the night.
When Tamer wakes up the next day and realizes how easy Farah was, he’ll loose interest and never call her back. Her friends will tell her it’s his loss, and somewhere else in Beirut, another Farah and another Tamer will be hooking up.
Posted in Diary Of A Single Girl In Beirut
Tagged lebanese culture, lebanon, love, social dynamics, women
1) When visiting his home, do not go into your boyfriend’s room unaccompanied and DO NOT shut the door while your both in there alone. There is nothing Lebanese parents find more horrifying than a lady with no “respect”. No matter how much he encourages it and tells you they’re “cool” they’ll be whispering about you in the kitchen. Sleep Overs are big NO NO.
2) Don’t call him more than once when you know he’s spending the day with his parents, there is nothing parents fear more than a clingy girlfriend that won’t give them “ quality time” with their pride and joy.
3) Just because they’re polite enough to invite you to every Sunday lunch, it doesn’t mean you should show up to every single one, they wanna know you have your own family obligations you have to attend to. There is nothing moms love more than a family girl for their handsome fella!
4) The same goes for getting touchy-feely. Even if you’re got a little tipsy at his cousin’s wedding, do not start grinding with him on the dance floor in front of the entire 45 members of his extended family and his great-uncle from his mom’s side. Save that for the after-party 
5) If she offers you food, do not refuse it, even if you’re convinced her portions are purposely intended to make you pack some more pounds. Smile, accept and praise the food, even if tastes like something your cat would reject.
6) Last but not least, do not ever do or say anything mean/ angry to him while his parents are around. Even a frown could be damaging. Not only is that tacky but it’s a signal that there is weakness in your relationship, which they will be quick to pounce on. Keep it together- until you get into the car, only then you can let him have it.
1) Nagging- we’re such a culture of naggers, it’s that whiny high pitched voice we like to put on when things don’t go our way, here’s a news flash, men don’t like it, AT ALL. So what if they didn’t have that top in your size at Zara or if your best friend is going out to lunch with your frenemy, guys just don’t care, if you insist on bitching, call your girlfriends.
2) Make Up Overload – Easy on the Paint, we tend to layer things up around here, the tranny look is quite popular. Looking well-kept is great but looking like a street walker in the middle of the day just frightens men away, unless truck drivers are your thing. Easy on the foundation, pick the right color for your skin, lose the fake lashes and burn the damn lip-liner. Make-up should cover your faults not create new ones.
3) Desperada All your friends are getting married and you don’t even have a boyfriend. So What?! You haven’t found the right one for you yet, no reason to start looking desperate. Men sense desperation like sharks smell blood, the only difference is, men will run in the opposite direction. Just relax, don’t rush things. If you wanna let him know you’re the serious kind from the gecko, just don’t put-out so fast, he’ll get it.
4) We’re mean. Yup, we enjoy being mean, to each other, to unsuspecting waiters, to innocent pedestrians and mostly to our men. Men are not driven by emotions and fortunately for them, their hormones are for the most part, stable, so stop using the silliest excuse to pounce on the poor guy whenever you’re having a mood swing. Angry women are very unattractive to men, if you’re having a bad day; do not use him as your punching bag.
5) Entitlement- Here’s a common misconception, if he’s a gentleman he’ll pay for everything. Some of the richest guys out there are total douche bags who think they can buy anything and anyone with their plastic cards. Unless you’re for sale, don’t let him pay for everything, respect is priceless.
Posted in Diary Of A Single Girl In Beirut, Sly Yet Genius Dating Tips
Tagged dating, lebanese culture, love, social dynamics, women
Jack is undoubtedly one of the world’s sleaziest men. If a grease ball would manifest itself on earth, it would surely be him. Before his status on Facebook changed to “engaged” he was roaming around town hitting on anything and everything that could walk. I happened to come across him at a dinner. He literally hopped over, sat right next to me and tried to charm me with his intellect. He’s not ugly, he’s just unbearable. Take away, the cake-y hair gel, the ridiculous over-sized Ralph Lauren polo logo, the excessive chest hair, the gold chain around his neck (and matching bracelet) , the cowboysish shoes- (don’t even get me started on those shoes), then he may, JUST may, pass as a good looking guy.
He’s a hard worker, having landed a job at one of the top consulting firms in the world and trust me, he NEVER fails flaunt to it; his business card precedes any introduction. He called me “ ya hilweh” and said I would make a great addition to his team at work- after only two minutes of meeting me. This was a year ago, I somehow got suckered into adding him on Facebook, what’s worse, I actually chatted with him on Facebook chat once. Just once. What?? I was feeling vulnerable!
Anyways, it seems the man was on the lookout for Lebanon’s top airhead to make his wife. Actually, let me rephrase, he landed the Lebanese version of Catwoman! Why some men wanna make aspiring porn stars their wives is beyond me, but let me get to the point.
She practically wore a negligee to the wedding, he, a silver suit. They looked absurd, like a low budget scene from a cheesy 80’s video. There are pictures of him lifting her up in the air whilst guzzling into her cleavage during the wedding. A sight for sore eyes.
And now the honeymoon pictures are up and I can’t tell you how giddy I was when I saw them on my Facebook homepage. I wasn’t however expecting the R-rated factor. Yup, really raunchy pictures of the both of them, almost naked in Hot tubs on some magnificently exotic island groping each other. Even worse, shots of them about to give each other hot oil messages, shots of her giving him “come-get-me-tiger” looks and too many rose petals everywhere.
I know I know, I’m partly at fault here, after all, no one slapped my wrist and forced me to witness these unconventional displays of affection, but have we not gone too far? Whatever happened to sacred intimate moments , have we lost all our sensible notions of privacy or are we too busy enjoying sharing everything with the world to care anymore? Bisoux
Want more? check out my previous post The Indiscretions of Lebanese man
Posted in Diary Of A Single Girl In Beirut
Tagged dating, lebanese culture, lebanon, love, social dynamics, weddings
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