Category Archives: Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

No.You Can’t Date Your Best Friend’s Ex

Posted on February 20, 2012 | 1 Comment

No matter how much time has passed since you’ve dated a guy, I don’t think it’s legit for a good friend to EVER date an ex of yours. But some beg to differ.

Nayla and Nadine were inseparable. They shared everything. Throughout high-school Nayla dated Wissam, it was as serious as it can get at the time. Everyone swore they would end up getting married. Even Nadine. But they didn’t. His parents sent him to the US for college and Nayla went on to study medicine at AUB. They grew apart throughout the years as most couples do with distance. Wissam broke up with Nayla eventually. It was all too much for him. Although she was sad to let him go, she knew she had to. It was Nadine’s shoulder she cried on.

Years passed, Nayla was doing her residency at AUB and Wissam was now back in Beirut working for one of the big-shot consultancy agencies in the country. They hooked up a couple of times at random parties for old times’ sake, but that’s as far as it went, although it didn’t help that girls had a hard time getting their hands off him. A girl in particular found it especially hard. Nadine. One night as Nayla was picking up Nadine, she spotted Wissam leaving her building in a scurry. Nadine had “no idea” why he was there but in a city with a rumor mill as active as Beirut’s, scandal travels fast. Apparently the two had been hooking up for some time. When finally confronted, Nadine told Nayla that she can’t just declare someone off-limits because she once dated him. But the thought of sharing someone she was intimate with was horrifying to Nayla. Both girls don’t talk anymore, better yet, Wissam stopped hooking up with Nadine when he figured out she had feelings for him. It was a lose-lose. So ladies, as tempting as it may seem, think twice before going for your bestie’s sloppy seconds

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Stop Staring At Me

Posted on January 30, 2012 | 3 Comments

FACT: Lebanon has a collective staring problem. And if you never had one, move to Lebanon. You’ll be staring people down before you can say “Who me? Never!”

I’m not one of those girls that’s covered up in piercings nor do I walk around with a green Mohawk on my head wondering why people are piercing holes through my back. But at times, even in my least dainty of days, I find myself trying to dodge the most persistent of stares. The ones I’ve harboured the most anger for throughout the years: stares from strangers that happen to be standing right in one’s face. Really? People actually stop to stare whilst making eye-contact with you? In this city, Absolutely!

Let me give you some background on this. In my early teenage years my mother would take me out shopping, and while we’d both scan the racks, each in her own age-appropriate corner, my mother’s efforts would be thwarted by my somewhat distressed voice. She’d hurry over only to find me telling a complete stranger to stop staring at me. She never understood why it ticked me off so much. It’s rude I’d tell her. Be flattered, she’d say.

As the years went by, I learned to live with it, like most of us do with loosing battles. My friends and I always withstand the gorging stares of two men or women from a nearby table in a coffee shop, hoping they’ll just have enough. They seldom do.

So a couple of days back, I was standing at register in ABC paying, when a woman stood right by me, instead of waiting her turn BEHIND me. She got fixated and gave me the full-out scan treatment, her head doing titling motions, she even peeked in my handbag at one point. I was frozen, caught between calling her out and just letting it go. I hate public scenes and I knew she just wouldn’t get what the fuss was about, staring came so naturally to her.I let it go, like I do so often. It comes with the turf. You can take it or leave it.  I’m officially an enabler.

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Now He’s Just Somebody That I Used To Know

Posted on January 18, 2012 | 15 Comments

He was my best friend- we met in college and hit it off right away. We started so much shit together and always found ourselves in A LOT of trouble. We once picked a fight with a group of guys at a Subway and almost got our butts kicked- he bitched slapped one of them and we ran for it.

I was in a long term relationship and he had many flings and we’d always laugh about the clingy ones. Our friends were convinced we were hiding something- we weren’t. Sure he was possessive and intimated guys that would hit on me but it was just his way of being my friend.

We had a pact that no matter what happens we’d remain the closest of friends. Cheesy but necessary when you’re about to move continents. After months of drunken Skype calls I stopped hearing from him. So I called, left voicemails and dozens of emails. It was borderline stalking. He seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth, only he was still active on Facebook.

Then one afternoon I received a message notification, it was him, he was asking me to stop trying to contact him.It went a little something like this:

“I’m deleting you from my facebook to cut communication with you (yady yady yada.)  My friendship with you is disrupting affect my current relationship (blah blah blah.) Also, your posts on my wall have been intrusive and disrespectful.( it was just a video of a monkey scratching his privates, lighten up buddy) As you know I have met someone very special, who I am in love with and who I want to keep in my life. This will be the last communication between us.”   ( Good luck , she seems supportive)

And that was it. Six years of a friendship over,just like that.. At first I was furious with him for being such a pushover, I vowed never to speak to him again, then I blamed his girl and  felt sorry for him for being with such a control freak. Four years later, I just miss my best buddy. I think it’s time to crack open that bottle of wine. Bisoux

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FACT: Nice Girls Finish Last In The Workplace

Posted on January 11, 2012 | 13 Comments

It seems to me a woman has two choices at the workplace nowadays. And very narrow ones mind you. Either she’s eager and enthusiastic, at the risk of being perhaps somewhat of a pushover. Or she can choose to have her defences up at all times, turn her attitude meter on high and set herself up as unapproachable. I don’t like to generalize- although I often do. And I’m very well aware of the prejudices that come along with categorizing people, although it often helps me put things into perspective.

Roula and Heba both work at the same interior design firm. They started out at roughly the same time and hold the exact same position-hierarchly speaking. Roula has always been eager to please while Heba’s known around the office for harbouring some attitude. Since their boss would rather avoid than confront, last minute requests usually land on Roula’s desk, that means more late hours for Roula while Heba gets to bounce early each day. Now in a just world, Roula would get the nod from management while Heba would be perceived as the underperformer. In a just world.

Unfortunately for Roula, she was always expected to do more, so when she wouldn’t deliver something mind-blowing the boss would let her have it. On the other hand, when Heba would demonstrate more enthusiasm and present something above mediocre, her work would be applauded. At the end of the year both Roula and Heba got equal pay raises. Although this sounds like an isolated incident- it actually isn’t. Many women resort to being “difficult” in order to survive at work. What do you think, do nice girls finish last?

Disclaimer: Although similar incidents can occur with men at the workplace, that’s an entire different ball game that I will get into at a later time, the fact of the matter is, men have it easier in the workplace, especially in Lebanon. Big statement- but I can back it up.
 

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Lebanon Is Not Ibiza

Posted on December 22, 2011 | 3 Comments

Lebanon’s reputation as the party hotspot preceeds it. But that status can quickly shift into an uncivilised not-so-hot mess in mere moments. I say this because almost twice a year (summers and winters) a bunch of friends,  acquaintances and tourists visit Beirut and when they do they bring along the most vibrant colourful skimpy borderline burlesque-ish outfits you may ever see in downtown Beirut at midday. I don’t even want to try to explain to you what wardrobe misdemeanours go down come night time. I may come off as quite the conservative here. Trust me, I’m not. But at times my lovely gal pals have made Lady GaGa look shy ( alright maybe Britney), you get the picture.

Of course I end up taking them to all my regular spots, restaurants and nightclubs. Since they’re on vacation mode, they drink twice as much, flirt with all the waiters (who have now become my buddies) and end up committing crimes on that dance floor. Yup, they get to do all that and perhaps even yell-out something snarky at one of the regulars (whom I just can’t stand and  to which I’ve resorted to simple death looks throughout the years) and guess what, a couple of days later, they get to hop on a plane and leave. No one will remember them or what they did, oh no, it’s me that will have to bear the shame when I once again have to face the bartender who got harassed for “heavier” drinks. I could swear my concierge almost winked at me the other day, and who blames him he’s seen my girlfriends come back every night in the wee hours of the morning all last week.

I’m not complaining I say this with much love, but this isn’t Cancun or Vegas, although it may come off as the alternative for those living in less “loose” societies in the Middle East, I’m not sure I want my favourite city in the world to be recognized for simply the chaos it entails. Or am I getting too old for this shiz?

 

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The Crazy Girlfriend- A Series of Disturbing Events

Posted on December 12, 2011 | 5 Comments

You don’t always get to pick who you  hang out with. Sometimes the people who get regular starring roles in your life, are imposed on you. Introducing

It’s a gamble, you can hit the jackpot and get a sister-from- another-mister or you can go home a big loser and end up with the craziest coconut on the tree.

The Die Harder

The girl will do anything to impress, even if it requires a 180 degree personality swap, but hey her eye’s on the prize. Somehow she’s also decided to make her life an open book to you, in her head you are now counterparts and naturally  must tell each other EVERYTHING. Then comes the excessive emotional baggage, when all you really wanted to do is have a drink. When she’s had one too many shots, premature love declarations and tears follow, usually leading up to a forced hug and hek if you drown yourself in enough booze to get you through the session you may even throw in a motivational speech. She’s set on forcing you to participate in her public affection displays and she’s permanently changed your name to “habibeh or hayeteh.”

 When she’s gotten slightly more comfortable with her man, you’ll begin to notice creepy behavioural switches, she’s suddenly subscribed to your favourite clothing brand, her hair is beginning to resemble yours and she’s even picked up some of your jokes, songs and dance moves. You’re flattered naturally, slightly annoyed but namely flattered. She guilts you into spending one-on-one time with her and just when you start putting your guard down, the bad mouthing follows, always taken out of context, always coming back to bite you right in the ass. This sick puppy has put you on a pedestal so high the only way for her to ever feel better about herself now would be to take you down.

And so it begins… stay tuned

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My Best Friend’s Girlfriends

Posted on November 26, 2011 | 10 Comments

My male best friend loves the ladies. He’s a dog and he knows it. He sees nothing wrong with trying to get with as many girls as he can. Just to be clear, they’re all more than happy to comply.

Of course he’ll meet the “occasional one” which he’ll momentary picture a future with, and then snap right back into reality as soon as she says or makes one move towards that future path. He enjoys calling all of the girls “wifey” or “marteh” and to be fair they love it too- yes even after only two weeks of dating. Then  he’ll proceed to leave them, either by text or phone or by simply fading out of their lives. Charming I tell you.

Here’s where I come into the picture. I’m a girls’ girl. And usually I end up getting along with most of them, except for a few psychos, but we can leave those stories for a different post ;)

It’s so hard for me to let go sometimes. I end up forming strong bonds with these women, we become close and before you know it we’re practically BFFs. When I finally pat myself on the back for ensuring my best man found the perfect girl, he decides to move on to the next one. The worst part, he expects me to drop them as fast as he did.

I try to reason with him, but he says my loyalty should lie with him and only him. Yes my friends, the average Lebanese man is VERY territorial even when he isn’t your boyfriend. So I told him I’m not gonna stop hanging out with her and he  felt betrayed.  I’m putting my foot down, I am no longer gonna meet any of  his girls until he is 100% sure she’s a keeper. He thinks I’m being irrational. I think I’m minimizing drama. What do you think?

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Lebanese Woman Murdered In Jounieh

Posted on November 24, 2011 | Leave a comment

I’ve been deeply disturbed by the story of the young woman who was found dead in the area of Sahel Alma in Jounieh yesterday. Miriam al-Ashqar, 28, was last seen by her family Monday as she made her way to a monastery she regularly visits. The details are shady but some outlets are reporting that her body was found in the woods Tuesday with inherent evidence of abuse and rape, details of which I would rather not get into. All evidence led back to the foriegn janitor that works at the monastery who is now in custody. Rumors have also been circulating about the possible involvement of two other men in the murder who are still at large. Everyone seems to have something to say about this murder and suddenly many people seem to be distant relatives of the victim. It’s understandable how people are shocked by this horrific murder as incidents like this are really not that regular in Lebanon, I just wish everyone would take it easy on the conspiracy theories and leave it to the investigators on the case. I hope this man is brought to justice and gets what he deserves and I urge all women in the area and others to be extra careful and cautious in all their whereabouts. My deepest condolences go out to the Ashqar family for their big loss.

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The Story of A Street Walker in Beirut

Posted on November 16, 2011 | 14 Comments

Tamara lived with her parents and 5 brothers and sisters in a two-bedroom broken down apartment in one of Beirut’s not-too-glamorous neighborhoods.  She never gave much importance to school and ended up dropping out of her last year. She got a full-time job at a local clothing store called “Silka” close to home and felt content with the 650,000LL she made a month. Every day she would quarrel with her father and brothers before she stepped out of the house. She insisted on wearing her skimpy flashy outfits .Her parents always knew that would bring her the “wrong” kind of attention.

It surely did. She fell in love with Rani who she met in the store one day. For a month after work he’d pick her up in his Black Range Rover work and they’d drive down to his place where they’d spend the rest of the night.

After a couple of months, Tamara began experiencing symptoms and found out she was pregnant.  She was devastated. Two months along she knew her secret would soon be out. She confronted Rani and asked him to marry her. He refused. He said he would help her pay for an abortion but that would be as far as their relationship would go. Although she was against the procedure she knew she had no choice but to go through with it. Rani took her to some shady doctor in an area she’s never been to before and the job was done.

The next week Tamara fainted at work. Her temperature had skyrocketed when her supervisor found her and rushed her to the hospital. Turns out she had caught a nasty infection following the “procedure.” Nurses whispered about her as they tended to her. She could see the judgment in everyone’s eyes as they discussed her “case.”  Her parents were informed but no one showed up, not even her mother. She was told she was no longer welcome at home. When she tried to call Rani, his phone was no longer in use.

Tamara checked out of the hospital with a 225,000LL pending bill and nowhere to go to. She walked and walked until a car stopped on the side of the road. A man offered her money and some food if she would get in the car. She was too exhausted to resist.

Tamara now walks the streets for a living. Life had not given her many options and even if it had, she wasn’t prepared enough to recognize them.

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No Such Thing As Nice Guys?

Posted on November 2, 2011 | 10 Comments

Lama, a friend of a friend of mine started seeing this guy she kept running into at the bank; he seemed like a really nice normal guy, except for one weird quirk about him, he was a pervert undercover.  Everything was going so great between them until the moment she saw his bedroom, there were pictures of sexy girls on his wall leaving nothing to the imagination. Even a 15 year old would think it was a little over the top. Lama just couldn’t move past it and that was most definitely the mood killer of their time together.

The next day she couldn’t get herself to pick up his call. She had to get some opinions. Most of the girls she asked agreed that it was super-weird except for some guys who thought it was pretty pimp. At 29 isn’t it a little strange to have made a swimsuit calendar the prevailing theme in your bedroom or am I just lucky to have never to come across one of those kind of guys…?

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