Category Archives: Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut

The Middle East’s Fixation With Baby Boys

Posted on May 18, 2012 | 6 Comments

How is it possible that in this day and age a majority of expecting parents hope and pray to be blessed with a baby boy? You know exactly what I’m talking about here, modern couples that cringe at the thought of not having an heir to carry the family name.

I’m very well aware of the prehistoric prejudices that past generations have had about having baby girls, what I’m referring to, is your average young expecting couple one would spot at a mall and never guess that they too are consumed with the obsession of their first born being a boy.

Success! Boys from the first go. The family can sleep better at night knowing that the blood line will live on. Please. This needs to stop. Someone needs to tell these ignorants how stupid they sound and how medieval they come off to the rest of us.

Such tacky mentalities can only mean one thing, daughters are a burden, and they’re going to have to spend all that money raising them only to marry them off to another family. What a losing investment.

I know a 32 year old educated woman that did everything to conceive. She experimented with all sorts of “advanced” reproductive techniques in modern science to become a mother.  She had one shot at getting pregnant and this would be it. I admired her dedication until she got pregnant with not one but two babies. This should have been the happiest day of her life right? Until she found out that she would be having two baby girls. Suddenly, she felt unlucky.

We all know this is not an isolated incident. And I’m not judging people who have baby girls and would like to have a boy as well; I’m referring to the people that would much prefer to have boys over girls, the men that pressure the women, the silly women who think they haven’t done their duties “producing” a male and will keep popping out babies until they have the next king of the jungle.

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The Girl Your Mother Won’t Let You Marry

Posted on May 5, 2012 | 6 Comments

We’ve all had that one girlfriend that just can’t live without a man in her life at all times. The girl that dives head first into a relationship every fifteen minutes. Every guy is a rebound of a rebound.

She likes to come off as thick-skinned and nonchalant to everyone around her, but in reality she’s a needy little girl who’s terrified of being alone with herself. Her excessive emotional need and constant urge to feed her oversized ego have blinded her with the determination to acquire testosterone she can call her own.

So she puts on her mask every morning and throws herself at the first guy who’ll buy her act. She’ll make him do EVERYTHING with her as though he were some sort of fashion accessory. Her entire life will revolve around this one guy; she’ll even manage his Facebook profile and reply to comments on his behalf. Her severe jealousy will force him to ostracize all his female friends. She’ll limit his weekly soccer games with the guys and suddenly he’ll find himself joining her girls on their nights out. And if the poor man ever managed to get away to tend to a pressing family affair, she’ll hammer him with phone calls until his entire family start rolling their eyes.

At this point one of two things will occur:

1) She would have dominated him to the extent where he surrenders his soul to her and before he knows it he’s choosing between petunias and orchids for the wedding he somehow managed to find himself hypnotized into.

2) Her smell of desperation and crazy obsession with control begins to seep through the cracks and the lucky man will make a run for it.

So to all you poor hardworking unsuspecting fellows out there going out for a good time tonight, let’s hope you don’t fall for that forward approach and forthcoming smile, she’s hungry and has been sharpening her fangs for awhile. Bisoux

Enjoyed this post? Then check out 5 Lebanese Ways To Turn Off A Man 

and

Men Love Bitches- The Case Study

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Posted in Diary of a Not-So-Single Girl In Beirut, Sly Yet Genius Dating Tips

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The 6 Annoying Dating Habits Of Middle Eastern Men

Posted on April 17, 2012 | 6 Comments

1)      Complaining about your overtly jealous woman then throwing tantrums when she merely glances at other men in the room. You are not the Sultan and whatever applies to her applies to you as well. Enough with this chauvinistic melodrama.

 2)       Flaunting your finances when wooing a woman, wining and dining her at the priciest spots in town, ordering the ridiculous magnum champagne bottles and showering her with expensive gifts only to later complain that she’s only with you for your money. You set yourself up for this one honey.

 3)      Her style is what got you noticing her in the first place, but suddenly you’re not feeling those mini dresses and shorts anymore. You’re on a conservative trip and you expect her to cover-up. Stop those outfit sanctions; you’re not being protective, you’re being a hypocrite.

 4)      You want a good girl from a “good family” yet you expect her to join you on those weekend getaways even if she has to lie to her parents about her whereabouts. If her parents don’t fall for it, you’ll go solo anyways. Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

5)      Her BFF just had a rough break up and she’s hitting the town, hard. Suddenly the girl who used to help you resolve a fight with your lady is now being sidelined as a “bad influence.”  If you expect your girl to drop her friend just like that then get ready to do the same for her.

 6)      She was honest to you about her past relationships from the start, yet the closer you get, the more annoyed, jealous and paranoid  you start to become with her history.  This is not an “honour” issue; your own insecurities are getting the best of you.

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The Ambitious Woman: Success Story or Spinster?

Posted on March 30, 2012 | 5 Comments

You’ve always considered yourself on the right path. You’re well educated, have constantly maintained good social standing, paid your dues with a couple of entry-level jobs and now, you’ve finally gotten the promotion you deserve. You’re also sufficient enough to have your own place despite the obvious disapproval of your extended family. But there is an entire society out there that’s keen on constantly reminding you of that one thing that is noticeably lacking in your life- that one thing that would complete you- that one thing that without- you would fail.

That’s right, for years old wives tales have cautioned little girls about the horrors of spinsterhood, an extraterrestrial pandemic that could hit women as they approach a certain age, where god forbid they remain unmarried!  And the Middle East is not immune to this phenomenon; in fact we’ve collectively managed to take preventative measures by decreasing the “conventional” age for marriage from 30 to an astonishing 25 years!

Our misguided lies have also led us to occasionally repeat common myths like “you have to get babies before you’re 30, it’s healthier!” Carla Bruni who is 44 just had a baby by the way. Is it because she’s Italian/ French? Has she been artificially inseminated? PLEASE!

But get a load of this crap: apparently the more successful you become, the pickier you are with your men. Better yet, men are more interested in the good looking perky secretary-type girls; as successful women tend to intimidate them.  What’s worse, higher paid women scare men away, perhaps that’s why most employers in the Middle East reportedly pay women less than they do men.

I don’t buy any of it. Yes, of course there exists a breed of insecure men out there that can’t handle an equal, or imagine women as their viable competition; men like that are only able to lure women with money. But for the rest of the over-achieving successful single ladies out there that have been bombarded with this rubbish- don’t succumb to the pressure, the only reason you should ever consider marriage is for love. *sigh*

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When Men Marry Women With Money

Posted on March 23, 2012 | 3 Comments

We hear about women who marry wealthier men all the time. But eyebrows get raised when the reverse happens, when the man marries the girl from a wealthy family and enjoys all the perks, that’s the kind of stuff that really gets people talking around here.

I know a girl who worked as a teller in a bank that married a guy so wealthy (who happened to also be a client btw), she quit her job the minute their plane touched down from the honeymoon, she didn’t even give a months’ notice, and mind you no one really cared, it was the most natural next step for her to take before she assumed her position as a high roller in society.

But I also know a guy who married a girl whose daddy owns one of the most lucrative construction businesses in the Middle East. While most men would feel emasculated at the mere thought of wedding a woman from an entirely different social standing, it didn’t bother him in the least, in fact it may as well have even been the deal breaker. His wife’s parents financed the entire destination wedding-extravaganza, gave them a million-something dollar apartment in one of the most high-end districts of Beirut, threw in a couple of sports cars here and there and, he even got a senior position at her father’s company. Everyone just loves to discuss how he’s “milking his sugar mamma”, how he has “no dignity”, how he “sold his soul” to his in-laws, a guy that made his way to the top by falling in love with the right girl. But the truth is he really does work hard, takes himself very seriously at the workplace and boasts about the profits he’s reaping in for the company. In his eyes, everyone’s a winner.

No matter how happy and in love those two may seem, all people do is hate on him. While the rest of the men are struggling to make ends meet, he married his millions. But what do you think, why it it ok for a woman to marry rich and not for a man?

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The Indiscretions Of A Lebanese Man- Part II

Posted on March 9, 2012 | 5 Comments

Once a cheater always a cheater? This means that a man that’s strayed is never capable of true redemption, he’ll always go back to his old ways, one day. I’m not sure I support this statement 100% but what I do know is that A LOT of Lebanese men cheat on their women for reasons that are beyond me. I’ve had many conversations with male friends and acquaintances that have openly and proudly might I add, boasted about their extracurriculars. Some are married, others in long-term relationships about to get married, but that never stopped them, if anything, it gave them more of a push to cheat.

Mazen and Sandra seem like your average couple, she’s a well-educated pretty girl from  a “good” family and he’s a very good looking guy who’s just taken over his family business. Together, they look so happy and in-love. She’s given him her all and he knows it. But Mazen has a dark little secret; he spends the rest of his free time trying to hook-up with every easy target he can find at a bar for a short-lived cheap thrill. If you confront him he’ll tell you he’s head over heels about Sandra, he even plans on marrying her one day but he’s young (29) and wants to live his life to the full without the risk of losing her. He somehow tries to legitimatize his cheating by overly-proclaiming his undying love for her.

Sandra would be devastated if she found out. But eventually like many others in her shoes he would convince her that it was a onetime thing and he would NEVER go there again. She’d give him that second chance and he’d be grateful for a while, but he’ll also learn to become more careful.Yes, many cheaters are repeat offenders, but what do you think, can a cheater ever be trusted again?

In case you missed it:

The Indiscretions Of A Lebanese Man- Part I

Can Cheating Ever Be Justified?

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No.You Can’t Date Your Best Friend’s Ex

Posted on February 20, 2012 | 3 Comments

No matter how much time has passed since you’ve dated a guy, I don’t think it’s legit for a good friend to EVER date an ex of yours. But some beg to differ.

Nayla and Nadine were inseparable. They shared everything. Throughout high-school Nayla dated Wissam, it was as serious as it can get at the time. Everyone swore they would end up getting married. Even Nadine. But they didn’t. His parents sent him to the US for college and Nayla went on to study medicine at AUB. They grew apart throughout the years as most couples do with distance. Wissam broke up with Nayla eventually. It was all too much for him. Although she was sad to let him go, she knew she had to. It was Nadine’s shoulder she cried on.

Years passed, Nayla was doing her residency at AUB and Wissam was now back in Beirut working for one of the big-shot consultancy agencies in the country. They hooked up a couple of times at random parties for old times’ sake, but that’s as far as it went, although it didn’t help that girls had a hard time getting their hands off him. A girl in particular found it especially hard. Nadine. One night as Nayla was picking up Nadine, she spotted Wissam leaving her building in a scurry. Nadine had “no idea” why he was there but in a city with a rumor mill as active as Beirut’s, scandal travels fast. Apparently the two had been hooking up for some time. When finally confronted, Nadine told Nayla that she can’t just declare someone off-limits because she once dated him. But the thought of sharing someone she was intimate with was horrifying to Nayla. Both girls don’t talk anymore, better yet, Wissam stopped hooking up with Nadine when he figured out she had feelings for him. It was a lose-lose. So ladies, as tempting as it may seem, think twice before going for your bestie’s sloppy seconds

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Stop Staring At Me

Posted on January 30, 2012 | 3 Comments

FACT: Lebanon has a collective staring problem. And if you never had one, move to Lebanon. You’ll be staring people down before you can say “Who me? Never!”

I’m not one of those girls that’s covered up in piercings nor do I walk around with a green Mohawk on my head wondering why people are piercing holes through my back. But at times, even in my least dainty of days, I find myself trying to dodge the most persistent of stares. The ones I’ve harboured the most anger for throughout the years: stares from strangers that happen to be standing right in one’s face. Really? People actually stop to stare whilst making eye-contact with you? In this city, Absolutely!

Let me give you some background on this. In my early teenage years my mother would take me out shopping, and while we’d both scan the racks, each in her own age-appropriate corner, my mother’s efforts would be thwarted by my somewhat distressed voice. She’d hurry over only to find me telling a complete stranger to stop staring at me. She never understood why it ticked me off so much. It’s rude I’d tell her. Be flattered, she’d say.

As the years went by, I learned to live with it, like most of us do with loosing battles. My friends and I always withstand the gorging stares of two men or women from a nearby table in a coffee shop, hoping they’ll just have enough. They seldom do.

So a couple of days back, I was standing at register in ABC paying, when a woman stood right by me, instead of waiting her turn BEHIND me. She got fixated and gave me the full-out scan treatment, her head doing titling motions, she even peeked in my handbag at one point. I was frozen, caught between calling her out and just letting it go. I hate public scenes and I knew she just wouldn’t get what the fuss was about, staring came so naturally to her.I let it go, like I do so often. It comes with the turf. You can take it or leave it.  I’m officially an enabler.

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Now He’s Just Somebody That I Used To Know

Posted on January 18, 2012 | 15 Comments

He was my best friend- we met in college and hit it off right away. We started so much shit together and always found ourselves in A LOT of trouble. We once picked a fight with a group of guys at a Subway and almost got our butts kicked- he bitched slapped one of them and we ran for it.

I was in a long term relationship and he had many flings and we’d always laugh about the clingy ones. Our friends were convinced we were hiding something- we weren’t. Sure he was possessive and intimated guys that would hit on me but it was just his way of being my friend.

We had a pact that no matter what happens we’d remain the closest of friends. Cheesy but necessary when you’re about to move continents. After months of drunken Skype calls I stopped hearing from him. So I called, left voicemails and dozens of emails. It was borderline stalking. He seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth, only he was still active on Facebook.

Then one afternoon I received a message notification, it was him, he was asking me to stop trying to contact him.It went a little something like this:

“I’m deleting you from my facebook to cut communication with you (yady yady yada.)  My friendship with you is disrupting affect my current relationship (blah blah blah.) Also, your posts on my wall have been intrusive and disrespectful.( it was just a video of a monkey scratching his privates, lighten up buddy) As you know I have met someone very special, who I am in love with and who I want to keep in my life. This will be the last communication between us.”   ( Good luck , she seems supportive)

And that was it. Six years of a friendship over,just like that.. At first I was furious with him for being such a pushover, I vowed never to speak to him again, then I blamed his girl and  felt sorry for him for being with such a control freak. Four years later, I just miss my best buddy. I think it’s time to crack open that bottle of wine. Bisoux

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FACT: Nice Girls Finish Last In The Workplace

Posted on January 11, 2012 | 14 Comments

It seems to me a woman has two choices at the workplace nowadays. And very narrow ones mind you. Either she’s eager and enthusiastic, at the risk of being perhaps somewhat of a pushover. Or she can choose to have her defences up at all times, turn her attitude meter on high and set herself up as unapproachable. I don’t like to generalize- although I often do. And I’m very well aware of the prejudices that come along with categorizing people, although it often helps me put things into perspective.

Roula and Heba both work at the same interior design firm. They started out at roughly the same time and hold the exact same position-hierarchly speaking. Roula has always been eager to please while Heba’s known around the office for harbouring some attitude. Since their boss would rather avoid than confront, last minute requests usually land on Roula’s desk, that means more late hours for Roula while Heba gets to bounce early each day. Now in a just world, Roula would get the nod from management while Heba would be perceived as the underperformer. In a just world.

Unfortunately for Roula, she was always expected to do more, so when she wouldn’t deliver something mind-blowing the boss would let her have it. On the other hand, when Heba would demonstrate more enthusiasm and present something above mediocre, her work would be applauded. At the end of the year both Roula and Heba got equal pay raises. Although this sounds like an isolated incident- it actually isn’t. Many women resort to being “difficult” in order to survive at work. What do you think, do nice girls finish last?

Disclaimer: Although similar incidents can occur with men at the workplace, that’s an entire different ball game that I will get into at a later time, the fact of the matter is, men have it easier in the workplace, especially in Lebanon. Big statement- but I can back it up.
 

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