1. The “I’m going to share every bit of baby’s life with you until you’re nauseous” Mom
Oversharing who? This momma is all about putting it out there, from documenting her entire pregnancy, baby’s first ultrasound, first breath of life and then it’s one long series of first E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G-S. She’s obsessed with her child (naturally) and so expects everyone else to be. Most of her friends have secretly hid her posts on Facebook, at first they were flattered and curious she wanted to share every moment of motherhood with them but sometimes, they just wish she’d keep some moments for the family album.
2. The Picture Perfect Mom
This momma can stage a scene better than a Kardashian. Everything about her parenting style looks so effortless, her life looks like a scene right out Pinterest. If she can’t find identical outfits she’ll resort to color coordinating with her baby. You’ll never catch a baby of hers with crusty milk on a bib, never mind that, her kids don’t even need bibs, they’re flawless.
3. The “I was born to be a mother” Mom
This is the born-again momma. Her entire existence and being revolves around the act of motherhood. She can’t decide if she loves her child or being a mother more, and her social media presence is one big baby love fest. She will shower your Facebook feed with an abundance of quotes and pictures of her and her baby intertwined until your ovaries explode.
4. The Know It All Mom
She’s a walking mommy encyclopedia. Ask her anything, this wise owl will have the answer even if she’s a first time mother herself. Every new mom wants to have her as a friend, and no topic is off limits for her from embarrassing pregnancy symptoms to baby’s bowel movements. She’s joined every parenting group on the internet and is a serial commenter not to mention that she made most of her mommy friends from these forums.
5. The Judgmental Mom
She plays offense on the Breastfeeding support groups and she won’t hesitate to rip any formula-feeding mother apart just to make an example out of her in front of the rest. She hashtags everything #BreastisBest and is a self-proclaimed lactation specialist. She surfs the internet all day in search of articles that prove her point and has gone as far as lecturing her baby’s pediatrician on the subject. She thrives on controversy and she’s convinced herself that both her and her baby are more superior than everyone else.
6. The Competitive Mom
Anything your baby can do her baby can do better. She will see your baby and raise you her better baby. Because her baby is the cutest, smartest and the best at everything already baby. She will gladly brag to all her Facebook friends about her early bloomer and over-achiever and she constantly boasts about her baby’s performance to whoever will listen. You can get this one started by simply bringing up your baby…
7. The First Time Mom
She’s new to this whole mommy thing, but sooner or later when she gets a grip on motherhood you’ll be able to group her in one of the categories above. Until then she’s over-the-moon, confused, tired and in total awe of her little baby. Everyone enjoys reading her amateur status updates and the pictures she posts because she’s experiencing it all for the first time just like everyone else. She’s been attacked by Judgmental Momma on the breastfeeding support forums for merely stating her opinion and has since then sworn off any such groups. Her only real friend is Know it All Momma who she refers to when her pediatrician stops answering her tenth call in the same hour.
Which mom are you?