1) Everybody knows that wearing a white dress to another girl’s wedding is an act of hostility. Refrain. And you’re right, a simple white dress should not upstage a mammoth gown, but those are the rules. You will get stared down by bride’s besties and their mother’s mothers. If your white dress has a train you will probably be unfriended on Facebook the next day and labelled the attention thief.( to put it nicely)
2) The great thing about weddings is the open bar. The downside is the video cameras. We tend to forget that almost every moment is documented. So if you’re going to pull out all the stops on the dance floor make sure you understand that for the next 30 years the newlyweds and their families on both sides will watch your sad attempt at the Zorba with a glass of gin tonic in one hand. After all it’s their wedding video. Your swollen ankle may heal after a couple of days but your pride will hurt forever.
3) Weddings are no place for one night stands, or random hook-ups especially with the bride/groom’s close friends or relatives. The only making out people are interested in watching are the bride and the groom. And chances are you’ll run into that guy/girl again in every baptism, communion, and birthday to come. Spare yourself the awkwardness.
4) Photobomb. If you see the newlyweds entangled in a champagne embrace, don’t try to get in the middle. Again wedding album. Coffee table. Forever.
5) Kiss the bride right on her cheeks. Here’s the thing, bridal makeup is just as important ( and expensive) as say, center pieces and after getting kissed by all 500 guests (three times each) her makeup is gonna streak. So do her a favor, make it one of those air “mwah” air kisses. She will love you for it!
6) Don’t bring your kids along. Especially if they’re not invited. Something happens to kids at weddings. They become obnoxious and easily excitable. We both know it I just said it.
7) Catching the bouquet is not a game of rugby. Anyhow pushing and tugging tend to scare suitors away. It’s just for fun I promise it doesn’t really work.
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