My boyfriend and I had our very first big brawl this weekend. He’s been possessive in all the wrong ways lately, and yes I do think possessiveness sometimes, could be flattering. This time, it was anything but.
We went out clubbing to Chocolate in Sin il Fil with a bunch of friends. 3 rounds of shots and 5 vodka lemons later, we got a little drunk. Ok, perhaps a lot. My girlfriend and I got really excited at one point and got up on a high-ledged booth to dance.
Suddenly I felt a slight tug on my top. It was my man, frowning at me with a horrible look of disdain I’ve never seen before, pointing to the ground telling me to get down at once. Never one for taking orders, I ignored him and continued.
Another tug, this time harder. So I bent down to negotiate with the man, and he barked orders at me. I asked him to control himself and he wouldn’t, so I ignored him again and went on to do my thing.
He was livid. I saw him say something to his friend, who tried to stop him, and then he just stormed off.. I thought he had gone to the washroom to cool-off. Five minutes later, his buddy told me that he bounced.
My friends dropped me home but the embarrassment was too apparent to hide. My boyfriend, who happened to be my date ( and ride) for the night, had left me at the club.
He hasn’t called all day yesterday and I haven’t either. I’m appalled by his behavior. I’ve had endless discussions about this with friends all day and everyone seems to have differing opinions about this. Some are saying I had this coming, that I undermined him. Others are equally shocked by the sudden,backward, jealous, controlling, conservative ( the list goes on) move he pulled.
What are your thoughts about this sticky situation? Bisoux
Maybe he walked away cause he felt his anger was gonna cause a scene at that point. So the only positive thing about him walking away is that you guys avoided fighting even more, and you both cooled off.
The negative thing of walking away is…WALKING AWAY!!
Anyway, I think you did the right thing by continuing to dance. He doesn’t have the right to order you around.
I guess what I have to say is quite similar to some of your friends. No man should go about barking at his girl then storm off.
However (because otherwise this would be too simple), given the serious amounts of alcohol consumed, odds are your boyfriend’s behavior was out of character and he might be struggling with recognizing how ashamed he is about it. This could be one of those moments where he’s trying to rationalize his behavior to himself, because he knows deep down he did something he normally wouldn’t have, and somewhere between pride and shame he’s not calling you simply because he doesn’t know what to say.
Disclaimer: I could be way off, naturally.
well sorry to hear this but he shouldn’t leave you alone even if he was so pist-off and jealousy , but even you, you should been more understanding well i guess in time you were under vodka influence and jojo music maybe well it happens .
Good riddance, bon debaras… He did you a favor!
Well i dunno, but maybe you could’ve went down just to see what he’s thinking??
But he has no right to just take off & i guess u r better off with out him!
Instead of dancing with you..he left?!?!
Hmm…I, like you, think upon occasion possessiveness is a good thing, and very flattering. But there is a difference between that and smothering. What he did was wrong, and frankly an over reaction to something so small. If you see him again, or talk to him, I would ask *why* he got so mad. It could be that he just had a really bad day and wanted your company.
Either way, he did act badly. And he should apologize. But I do think you should ask him about what happened.
Def worth hearing out his side of the story. His behavior here was very Lebanese (though dunno if he’s usually like this or it just came out that night).. He should have respected you enough to let you do your thing seeing as you were enjoying it- heck, he coulda joined you right up there! I don’t get how such a small thing could piss anyone off that much.
Agree with Mich, good thing you saw this side of him now rather than later in the relationship..
PS on a side-note: I’d love to hear your thoughts on “What Lebanese men look for in a wife?” if you have a few minutes
I’m sure you’d have some interesting take on this issue: http://lorenasepiphany.com/2011/02/06/search-result/ Thanks in advance 
i think the way u acted with him was not soo goooood but at the same time this doesnt give him the right to leave u
he can be anger wahtever but not leaving u like this no matter the reason he wanted to talk with u about
on other hand i think u should not publish something happened btw u and ur bf online to take advise
u should fix ur issue with him or talk to a close frd ……
this will not help
specially if he read
Here are my thoughts
http://ivysays.com/2010/03/17/what-men-really-want-especially-lebanese-men/
Love that quote by Marilyn. I say forget him! Go after someone who loves your spirit and sense of adventure. Hey,,and as long as you’re going home wiht him..what does he care? Tell him to chillll OUT.
Classic arab male identity crisis. He’s attracted to the sexy independent modern woman who has her own life and does her own thing, but at the same time, an alarm goes off in his brain when the control he feels he needs to have begins to become destabilized. I think it’s important for you to understand that his actions aren’t just a reflection of him being a bad person/boyfriend, rather they are a result of a general alignment to patriarchal qualities as being indisputable.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that he’s a conservative freak, you just need to talk to him and make sure he understands that dancing on a table is not equated to loose morals or disrespect. Unconsciously, you just hurt his ego a little bit, and he had a reaction.
Plus, if he’s a bit of a man’s man, which I feel he might be, he’s also probably uncomfortable with what his friends might think if they see his girlfriend showing off her moves. (another issue: having a boyfriend does not mean girls shouldn’t behave the same way they would if they didn’t when they are with their girls having fun)
He’s sort of childish for walking away because of something so trivial, but unfortunately, your ignoring him was also childish.
Yes, you have the right to do what you want, but you don’t tell people that by ignoring and negotiating in public. Once that’s done in private … if he still doesn’t agree, then it’s just time to end things.
You bad, bad girl. You should listen to your man and do as he barks. Oh so naughty you’ve been! And just in time for V-day. He has every right to be…
to be…
to be…
questioned, scanned, double rolled over, scrutinized underneath a microscope.
This is either a sign that:
a) you should grab your heels and run
b) you should kick them off and run faster
c) you should be prepared to swim too
On a less serious note, it is definitely a sign. A sign that he now expects you to be a “certain” way now that you’re “his girl” or a sign that you should keep clubbing for a girls’ night out with your possessive hubby quarantined at home.
If you didn’t like this episode, be prepare to buy more pop corn, I have a feeling more will be COMING SOON.
i told you before that you won’t take his possessive behavior for long. But in this situation, I agree with him completely. First it was a mistake to dance like this especially having your boyfriend around. Second when you saw that this was annoying hin, (it will annoy any normal man), you get down and then ask him to control himself. Bisoux