Monthly Archives: January 2011

My girl Noor moved to London from Beirut to do her Masters.  She was dating Shadi for 2 years before she decided to make the move.  Shadi was supportive but sad when she left. They both insisted they wanna make it work.  It worked for 6 months. She would text him every day, and he would call her every other day.  He’s even planning on visiting her in February.

There’s just one thing- Noor went out clubbing with her roommate’s friends last weekend and danced all night with one guy she found herself strangely attracted to. They ended up going back to her place for some more drinks, good conversation; next thing she knows, Nour and this guy are swapping saliva.

She woke up the next morning swamped with a mixture of guilt and excitement and a hangover.  She knew she had betrayed Shadi, but just the thought of the other guy jolted instant butterflies in her stomach.

Shadi called that day and she was dry. He kept asking her what was wrong but she just said she was having an off day.  The next day, she had dinner with the other guy.

Nour called me in utter confusion last night. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing Shadi but this new guy made her feel this excitement she yearned for. A new guy, a new country a new adventure.  But she loves Shadi too much to even risk telling him. He would be devastated.

We both agreed the she was betraying Shadi, but Nour somehow convinced me that before she makes any decisions she wants to see what or where this new fling could lead to. And I know many of us have been there…so I didn’t talk her out of it. I know she loves Shadi and this may not be worth losing him over but I also know that it’s downright cheating. So what do you think? Can this experiment ever be justified, especially if it makes her realize Shadi is THE ONE ? Bisoux

We are constantly being hammered by the recent political escalations in Lebanon, no matter what we do or how little we care, we are still getting bombarded with the he/said she/said of it all.

So I came up with some tips on how to behave completely oblivious to your unfortunate surroundings. Ignorance sure is bliss. Bisoux

(if you belong to the remaining  50% of the population who were born political analysts then this post is not for you, but rather, for the people who wanna get away from you)

1) Go to Armin Only Mirage On Saturday the 22^nd, decked out in a super ridiculous, flashy rave outfit with a bunch of friends and party like its 1999.

2) When the clock hits 5pm after work, head straight to a Happy Hour at your nearest neighborhood bar; make sure all the TV and radio channels are turned OFF at all times. Buy shots for everyone, like you have a reason to celebrate.

3) Go shopping; nothing gets your mind off Lebanese politics like a good shopping spree. Draining your bank account at this point in time only proves to everyone that you simply 1) do not give a damn about the “tensions” b) can’t possibly believe that we are stupid enough to go to war with ourselves.

4) Do not under any circumstance turn on the radio to any Arabic –speaking channel at any point in time, instead focus on new hits such as “Heartbeat”, “Like a G6”, “Only girl” “We R Who We R.”

5) You can spot the frustrated ones right away. If you must walk into a grocery store, do not ask the dikanjy, who is prolly glued to his tiny 1970’s TV why he looks frustrated, just  grab what you need and pay him, if he asks you “ keef sheyif il wade3 bilbalad” drop whatever is in your hands and RUN!  Plenty of other groceries around.

6) See no evil; speak no evil, and most importantly HEAR NO EVIL. If one of your political analyst friends attempts to ruin your lazy loungy wine-guzzling afternoon with politics, make up a family emergency excuse and bounce. Don’t forget to unfriend them on Facebook  and unfollow them on Twitter. It’s the only way my friend.

So, I have a boyfriend. I love him and he loves me back. Things have been smooth.

But there’s this ex-girlfriend of his,that he’s been so keen on preserving as a friend. And god knows I have my shares of exes. So I’ve been trying to keep an open mind. Until last night. She pushed my buttons. And now I have to stand my ground and rightfully proclaim what’s mine.

Before I get into it, they broke up because she suffocated him. She wanted to be with him every second of the way, he couldn’t even play poker with the boys anymore. He loved her but- as he says- not enough to give it all up.  Although- I can’t imagine what would be attractive about a man who would actually give it all up?

So we see her occasionally, and I’ve been so casual, kept an open mind, and never let paranoia get the best of me. This is how I see it: If he wants her- he would be with her. Khalas- no drama.

But she has this habit of snapping portrait shots of herself and mostly men- and yes my man seems to be her favorite choice.  So she grabs him, plants the biggest wettest smooch on his face and snaps a pic of it. I let it go.

But the next day she uploads it onto Facebook and makes it her profile picture and tags my man! Before you know it- all her friends are commenting, “love you guys”, “ sooo cute”, “ jamelkon” and it goes on.

And she starts casually thanking everyone, “Thanks girls, love you all.” Bitch

Of course my man untags himself and calls me instantly to explain.  I kept it under control but explained to him that she pushed it. He agrees but hopes I’ll just let the incident pass. I feel like putting her in a headlock

So what do you suggest I do, shall I let the desperate girl have her moment, or shall I show her who’s the new Sheriff in town? Bisoux