How many couples do you know in relationships that are equally in control? Not many eh? Frequently there is that one person that has a firm-er grip on the other. That one person that shoots that deadly withering look, signaling him/her to stop doing whatever it is they are doing. That one person who calls most of the shots. If my friend you find yourself on the receiving end of those looks, you are what we call: whipped.
So how did you get whipped?
Is it love? I love you so much therefore I will just say yes to please you, even if it means allowing you to dress me up in those ridiculously tight pants and a red bow-tie to suit your red dress- I’ll do anything for love.
Or
Power, some personalities are more dominant than others, it’s the pecking order. Everywhere you look, you have leaders and you have followers and couples in a relationship naturally fall into these categories.
Or
Fighting is just not worth it anymore. You love him/ her but you just can’t take the drama that comes with trying to plan a girls/boys night out. And slowly you start losing yourself, losing your voice and not to mention- your friends.
Because whether they choose to admit it to themselves or not somewhere behind every couple, there exists a bitter friend(s) who yearn to walk right you them and shake them out of this hypnosis.
Or
Some of us just like to meet that one person that is able to control us. Maybe because a) we are control freaks that get turned on from getting controlled, or b) we are so weak and insecure , we are happy to shy away from decisions and would much rather get whipped than grow a pair.
I’m a bit of a control freak myself, but the guy I’ve been seeing has somehow managed to get me to sit back while he sails this ship. Will this last for long- I hope so, it’s a total turn-on. Thoughts? Bisoux
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Very interesting topic.
I like what u said about the “whipped person” not fighting or makin drama. So they start to lose their voice and become a doormat for their lover.
It should definitely be a 50-50.
If we always go to restaurants YOU want to go to, shop wherever YOU want to shop, go out with YOUR friends only, try sexual positions only YOU like (hihi), then you’re havin a relationship wit urself alone…
BeirutBoy is right, then again… whenever we are whipped it is because we allowed ourselves to be in that position!!
Hey Hey..I love doing the whipping! I always tell my bf’s the same thing..”Just do what I say, and everything will be ok!” 😀
you cannot possibly grow a pair, instead.. grow a pussy 😉 :))
All our actions are triggered by our sexual pulses (including love). Being a dominant or a follower is a part of the game. You can’t have a 50/50 situation. Although it is the ideal thing but unfortunately it is impossible. And this applies to every situation. You can never have a 50/50 dominance between countries: one country will get the bigger part of the cake and the others will share the remaining.
Regarding love and relationships, it is always a game of power and control, and if you play it fair, the relation survives but if you abuse it, it will be over.
And for you Ivy, now you may like him being in control and taking decisions, but when it comes to your “territory”, if he keeps the same control, you will start feeling the opposite. Anyway these are my thoughts.
Weird! i heard about the ‘power game ‘ before and most of the time from girls with ‘ethnic’ background ! Girls from certain background play it either as dominant or submissive!
I know, probably it’s my experience and can’t generalise, but still, it explains a lot of cultural differences with the northern countries and southern one.
Playing power will probably burn all the love in a couple. It simply doesn’t work!
On the other hand someone, sometime has to lead or take action on something they know best, this could be him or her (or her / her – him/him …)
I would say the one who knows best should give advice and lead the other one.
Power and excess power leads to frustration at some point in a couple. Where ‘not leading a country in a war against another one here!! We are not managing a business or an office to impose our will!!
We are sharing love, friendship and intimacy.. in a cozy little place where we can call home , not office space, not country politics, not a fight arena ! if we are unable to communicate honestly our intentions this will lead to disaster and overrule of hypocrisy over love .
ouf very interesting topic! I’ve had sooooooo many friends who were whipped, I need more than two hands to count how many…It happens ALOT and i think it stems, first and foremost, from insecurity!!!
Classic scenarios:
-Gf forbids bf to hang out with his female friends
-Guy constantly ditches his family/friends for his gf
-Bf forbids Gf to go “clubbing” without him (very common in lebanon)
…and many more.
Some of these people constantly get critisized for being whipped and controlled by their better half…what is it that keeps them going? insecurity…not LOVE