Monthly Archives: December 2010

My friend, Tara has been single for awhile now. She has her mind set on a Lebanese guy from a good family that will find her, realize she is the best thing to happen to him, get on one knee, pop the freakin question and they’ll live happily ever after with 3 children.

Don’t misunderstand; Tara wants what many girls want, love and stability. That’s her prerogative.

So what does Tara do? She’s always on the lookout every time she’s out with the girls. What’s wrong with this picture? Tara is looking for love in all the wrong places. She gets dolled up and goes out to Beirut’s hottest bars and nightclubs in search of Mr. Right. I’m not gonna say that successful relationships never developed from such rendezvous, I’m saying, the odds of falling on good future husband in clubs are slim.

Picture this, Omar, a decent good looking guy in his late twenties, who wants to go out and party with the guys on the weekend. Omar has a table in White with his buddies. 5 guys on a table. They don’t miss a single opportunity to hit on a girl in close proximity. Let’s say things as they are here, homeboys are definitely not looking for Lebanon’s Next Best Wife, they are out to party and have one thing only on their minds. SEX. That’s their prerogative.

Here’s how the story goes, Omar is captivated by Tara’s beauty. Omar showers Tara with lavish drinks. Tara’s very impressed. Omar vocalizes his interest in Tara. But when he realizes that Tara is not that kinda girl, he quickly gives up but takes her number nevertheless. Tara leaves and Omar is free to hit on more chics that may be easier to impress. Omar succeeds!

My point is, if Tara went to dinner at her friend’s home instead of White that night, she may have been able to meet, Ramzi, a guy also in his late twenties, who wants to enjoy his weekend with good conversation. That’s his prerogative.

We go to clubs and bars to have a good time, meet new people, hook-up. Once we accept the limitations of such venues, we know what to expect and what not to expect. That’s our prerogative. Bisoux

Bonjourkon! I’m not usually this cheerful on Monday mornings, but this one is exceptional…it’s  the Monday before Christmas!

You know, the holiday where you receive(and give) gifts from your loved ones. The one where you stuff yourself silly with oven baked turkey, roasted kastana and really bad Bouche de Noel, all the whilst listening to the cheesiest jingles in the background! The one which your mom or auntie decorate everything from the cat to the toilet seat. The one where it’s ok to down Bailey shots in front of teta and jido  without being dubbed an alcoholic. The one where you spoil yourself with French wine instead of Ksara or Kefraya. The one where you can’t swing your purse without hitting a cheese tray. The one where you get so wasted only to wake up and do it all over again the next day sans the guilt. Ahhh tis sure is the season to be jolly.  And here’s a  classic- the Tom and Jerry Christmas special most of us grew up on, this will get you in the Christmas spirit. Bisoux

Don’t you just love how fast you can forge intrusive close relationships with random people in Lebanon? They truly are unlike any other you will form anywhere else in the world. Undoubtedly it’s the hyper-curiosity factor, that initiates  such conversations; everyone wants to know who you are, where you’re from( that’s a big one) and what you’re up to.

The Dekanjy-You walk into a grocery store and you get that acknowledging smile from the nice old man. He wants to know where you live. Once he gets a clear picture, he probes further. He wants to know whether you “rent” or if you’re a “mishtereh” and of course if you do in fact own property, he wants to know “adeh bil miter.” He may even be brave enough to cut to the chase and ask you how much you paid for it.

The parking guy- undoubtedly one of the most powerful men in Beirut. You arrive late and he wants to know, why. You leave early and he goes     “ shou?bakeer ilyom!” Then of course he wants do know what model/year your car is and the amount of your monthly installments. He also probes about your co-worker who is also late today.

The cleaning lady- she wants to know why you’re not yet married. She yearns to put you on the “right” path. She also wants you to reassure her, that even though you’re not yet married,  a) you plan on marrying the guy that came over to your apartment yesterday or b) you WANT to get married but you’re still waiting for your naseeb.

The mother of three at the gym- she wants to know where you work. She wants to know what you studied to get such a job. She will ask you bluntly and to your face how much you make. And for the finale, she will ask you to find a job for her son. She will also suckker you into giving her your phone number so she can harass you about it.

Ahhh- don’t you just love this place and how you can go from first-base to total exposure in mere minutes. I’m telling you. it’s unlike any other country in the world, our Lebanon.