Archives for October 2010
IVY Reviews THE MET in Beirut Souks
I’m loving the walk in Beirut Souks lately. In a place like Lebanon, where walking on the street may be hazardous to your health, Beirut souks provides you with that option; danger-free. So we stopped for a quick-bite with some friends at The Metropolitan Eatery. We sat on the patio.The interior had a modern New York-en touch to it with your typical Andy Warhol style decor, nothing we haven’t seen before, but a convenient place for business lunches.
The menu was anything but a surprise. You have your usual sandwiches section, pastas , burgers and pizza. A mix of international favorites that you would find in any other Lebanese diner, but for cheaper and heartier.
The service was fast and efficient. But does Beirut need yet another ordinary restaurant? Not really! I walked into that place expecting something different , but ended up paying around 92,000LL for the above, with no alcohol. Between grabbing a quick sandwich at TSC Signature after some shopping and eating-in at The Met- I would do TSC. Anyone else tried it? Thoughts? Bisoux
The 3 Categories Of IDIOTS On Lebanese Roads
I’ve had my fair share of bitching about traffic in Lebanon on this blog. But days like this, I cant help but wonder: what the hell is going on in some of these drivers’ minds? How do some of them have jobs to even go to? Who in their right minds would wanna hire them? Because the decisions they take on our roads are equivalent to those of an impulsive 2-year old that has no perception of consequences whatsoever.
I don’t like to generalize although I often do, there exists a category of people that drive a category of vehicles. I am now convinced that these vehicles are pre-designed to shut-off at least 50% of the drivers’ brains when they get behind that wheel. I had an interesting long conversation with a male friend about this and he had some pretty right-on observations. Some of you may accuse him of being a hater, but he makes some pretty good points nevertheless: ( excuse his French)
The BMW X5 driver:
No one is immune to this condition, once a Lebanese person ( male and female, no exception) gets into an X5, and a refurbished and reassembled second-hand one from abroad if I may, all hell breaks loose. They suddenly develop this tendency to drive like utter idiots. Speeding on all the small inner streets especially parking lots, at times running over unsuspecting pedestrians!!! They think that getting behind that wheel instantly entitles them to breaking all the rules because they are driving an X5! They don’t understand how silly, ignorant and classless they come off to the rest of us.
” Ba2ret il ML”
This is the frustrated housewife that has just dropped her kids off to school in the morning and wants to take it out on everyone else on the road. Her husband thought he’ll buy his wife this Mercedes SUV to help her climb-up the social ladder. It didn’t work. Instead, you can be driving on 70km/hr on the Autosrade when suddenly this hysteric woman appears out of nowhere only to try to get on that highway even if it means attempting to ram right into you or worse swinging her vehicle right in front of yours, and you suddenly find yourself struggling to change lanes to avoid the collision. And it gets better- SHE IS ON HER CELL THE ENTIRE TIME!!! She knows exactly why she deserved that crazy honk you send her way. But does she care? Hells NO! She showed you who’s boss; that’s all that matters.
Finally the Most Notorious of “Em All:
” 7aywen il Infiniti FX“
What is it with Lebanese men and a used Infinity FX?. They are strangely attracted to those death machines like bees to honey. This man stems from the gutters and probably makes a dishonest living yet he feels that his super-black tinted windows will make up for his classless being that no amount of cash could ever buy him. How does he do that? By terrorizing people on the streets. The scumbag will drive between cars at full speed causing others at time to come to a full stop on the road just to let him pass. He will drive behind you in 200km/hr and keep flicking his lights at you until you move out of his way. Blinkers are not even a part of his vocab. Do not attempt to ignore his bullying, he is a low-life SOB that will not quit.
I write this post with so must passion at a time where accidents are dominating our headlines. I know many of us are doing what we can do keep it civilized but I thought I would shed light on the freaks that should be held accountable. If you do drive any of the above vehicles and feel you have been unfairly judged, I do apologize but who should be apologizing to you in fact are those animals giving you a bad name. Bisoux
IVY Reviews Scallywags in Monot
I’m a little late to this party. People have been raving about Scallywags for about two years now.
It’ s a one-man show, I hear the owner is English but we were seated and served by the actual chef who seemed Lebanese. They have an interesting assortment of french wine and don’t serve any of the local ones. ( not that I’m complaining.)
You must forgive me. I promised you a 6-course meal but only described 5. That’s because I ate my favorite of them all, a savory chicken breast with a delicious aromatic Indian-masala type tomato sauce with a side of saffron rice, before I could even take a picture 🙁
The chef was nice enough to call me the next day and ask me about my experience.
The best part is that you can have this wonderful meal for: get this… roughly $25 dollars per person ( without drinks) and trust me that’s unheard of in this town!!
Scallywags is a Must-Try! Bisoux
7 Ways (Lebanese) Men Turn Us OFF
Here’s a nice way to start your week. Wondering why that chick you took out last month hasn’t called you back? Maybe you pulled one of these…
1) Cheap tippers– don’t you just hate it when a guy doesn’t tip generously. I don’t care how much he spent- if he’s only leaving 4,000LL on a 100,000LL bill- it will leave a sour taste in my mouth.
2) Terrorizing drivers– with his sports car- regardless of his horsepower, if he’s gonna terrorize every other driver in close proximity and make unnecessary turns just to hear his engine squeal and his tires screech, I’m not impressed and most probably will dig my nails into his leather seats.
3) Unbuttoned shirts- some Lebanese men insist on unbuttoning their shirts all the way down to their belly buttons. They also like to piss you off further by throwing in a gold necklace.I almost feel like they purposely curl chest hair in an attempt to stick them out of it. It’s horrendous -tuck it in and button it up.
4) Bad teeth- if you’re a smoker than most probably your teeth need whitening. You can be the hottest piece of %%% in town and still have turn-off teeth. Don’t think they go unnoticed.
5) Men need pedicures too– need I say more?
6) High-waist pants – I don’t care how many women are wearing them- men should steer clear of pants that are anywhere close to their waists. The humpty-dumpty look will never be IN!
6.5) Over Dosing at the gym– yes there is such thing as being OVER-MUSCLY. Here’s a hint: if you can’t walk anymore without your arms floating up in the air from side to side, You ‘ve had enough.
7) Bald and in-Denial– if your going bald, and most likely you are, enough with the gel and sorry attempts at growing your hair extra-long in an effort to distract us from that obvious bald patch; we can see it, it’s right on your head- so embrace it, set that shaver on zero and get with the program.
Men : you can thank me later. Ladies: am I missing a few? Bisoux
Lebanese Women Need A Dress Code ASAP
Yes We Do!! Or maybe some image training. Because hek, people just don’t know how to dress for the occasion. Let’s talk about work-appropriate clothes, because at the end of the day YOU represent the company you work for.
Before I get into that I want you to think about this: why is it that everywhere I look, most women in Lebanon feel like dressing up is not complete without the excessive show of skin? Why have we not learned to embrace fashion in all forms even if it means covering up ? Why do we still insist on hanging on to lace, latex and pleather in all the wrong ways?
I get that ( with all due respect) some minimum-wage employees may not know any better than to pull out those leaving-nothing-to-the- imagination mini’s to work. Although to be fair, I’ve seen some pharmacists that look like they’re about to guest-star in a soft-porn movie with their cleavage and acrylic nails. But nowadays, you walk into the office of reputable organization ready to meet the professional director only to encounter a lady wearing the skimpiest tightest pants that detail her every single curve ( and cellulite), the steepest heels that look like she stole them from a strip-club , enough make-up to paint an army of beauty pageants, not to mention her botox-mutilated lips. And guess what?! She’s the CEO, so your expected to have a professional deal-breaking conversation with this woman while all you really wanna do is hold her hand and ask her why she would do this to herself?
Even at conferences, women here just refuse to put on a decent suit. If it is a suit it will have to be a Cavalli animal print with all the bling in her jewelry box. So I get it, we like to get a little risqué , but why is it so difficult for us to dress decently for work? Bisoux
Ivy Hits Beirut-Town
My girl and I hit the town this weekend. I had ordered the perfect Bebe dress online for the occasion.
With the to-die-for Lanvin pumps I’ve been gushing over for awhile now and could finally afford this month.
Nothing like starting a night-out with some pink champagne and strawberries and that’s exactly what my girl and I did before heading out on Friday night.
We headed down to Gemmayzeh and had some frozen margaritas.
I was dropping my girl of home and we decided to stop by Ichiban at Jal-el-Dib for some sushi and that was probably the first and last time we will ever walk into that joint again.
We had the chicken yakitori which was the driest stalest chicken ever!!
We found it odd that Ichiban does not give customers the option of ordering sushi boats/sets. You have to order piece by piece. What’s more surprising is they don’t have much options for non-raw fish eaters except for crab and guess what, they’re ridiculously over-priced as compared to the quality of food and venue. The miso soup costs 9,500LL and the edamame beans cost 10,000LL. PULEAASE!! That’s what you would pay at Osaka and trust me this place is no Osaka. They only have one waiter upstairs for about ten tables .The toilet sink is in a spot where diners can see and hear people washing their hands. And frankly the crab tastes like it was frozen and then defrosted.